Icy Pole Stick / Soul Centered Couples Transformation/ As Is - 5/9/12

Smartmarriages smartmarriages at lists101.his.com
Wed May 9 14:42:24 EDT 2012

- Icy Pole Stick Dance
- New Tool by Hedy Schleifer
- Icy Pole Stick Dance

> Diane:
> A few years ago at the conference you had a guy from Australia present on
> group activities.  His seminar was called the Icy Pole Stick Dance and other
> Group Activities.  I can¹t forget the name of the seminar but I can¹t find my
> handout.  Is there some way I can contact him [can¹t remember his name either,
> I¹m sure it¹s age related] and get the handout again?
> Thanks!
> Joe Young
> Executive Director, ArMHCA
That was Peter Little.  He presented in 06, 07, and 08 and made a huge
impression on everyone who attended his workshops.
Hope the contact info is still good:
plittle at rav.org.au
Office: 613 51 741100
Cell:   041 300 4791

He lived in Traralgon Victoria Australia

- New Tool by Hedy Schleifer

Hedy Schleifer, another of the Smart Marriages Conference  favorites, has
developed a new 10-DVD video training program:
"Encounter-centered Couples Therapy" - couples therapy focused on
the encounter of the souls.  Any of you who ever attended anything by Hedy
know she¹s the master of the encounter.
She takes you through the moment-by-moment decisions needed to lead couples
towards reconnecting at the relational/transformational level.
Here¹s a sample of the video:
To find out more and for information on ordering:


On her 50th wedding anniversary, a woman revealed the secret of her
long and happy marriage. She said, "On my wedding day, I decided to
make a list of ten of my husband's faults which, for the sake of the
marriage, I would overlook."

One of her guests asked her what some of the faults she chose to
overlook were. "To tell you the truth," she replied, "I never did
get around to making that list. But whenever my husband did
something that made me hopping mad, I would say to myself, 'Lucky
for him that's one of the ten!'"

It's nice to decide what to overlook. In relationships, I get plenty
of practice overlooking the foibles of other people. And I suspect
they get plenty of practice with me, too.

As they hung wallpaper together, one husband became frustrated with
his wife. She seemed, to him, to be indifferent about the quality of
her work. He felt she was doing a poor job. He finally put it into
words this way: "The problem is that I'm a perfectionist and you're

"Exactly!" she replied. "That's why you married me and I married

Miss Perfect certainly did one thing well. She knew how to overlook
annoying observations from her perfectionist husband.

We human beings are nothing if not flawed and imperfect. But, the
point is, people are not meant to without blemish. We're scraped and
scarred, flawed on the inside and marred on outside. It's just the
way we are. (Sometimes I think it's one of our more endearing
qualities.) I never want to forget that "perfect" is only found in
the dictionary.

Even pottery may be closer to perfection than we humans, if Belleek
Pottery in Ireland is any example. I hear that every finished piece
there undergoes a final inspection. It is held up to a fierce,
bright light and examined for imperfections. If even the slightest
flaw is detected, the cup or plate or vase or sugar bowl is smashed
to pieces. That's right. The blemished piece is never sold as a
"second." If Belleek pottery is not flawless, it is reckoned to be
no good at all. No doubt other makers of fine china and crystal
operate the same way.

I surely cannot stand up to that kind of scrutiny. I have flaws I
haven't even begun to explore yet.

How much pain prompted the words of that sensitive artist Vincent
van Gogh when he lamented, "I wish they would only take me as I am."
How many times a day are those words repeated by countless people
feeling the sting of rejection? To be accepted as one is and not
discarded as useless is more than just a wish, it is a deep, human

All of us sport an invisible sign around our necks -- "AS IS." It
means, take me as I am. I may not become what you want me to be. And
I'm far, far from perfect. But I have some great qualities, too, as
well as my share of faults. You will have to take me "AS IS" and
I'll take you that way, too.

AS IS will be the best guarantee any of us can offer. But quite
frankly, most of the time we're getting a pretty good deal.

-- Steve Goodier
Your Life Support http://www.lifesupportsystem.com

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