NARME NOW/ COMPASSION BOOT CAMP/Drying Up / Submitting / Just Fake It - 6/1/11

[Smartmarriages]

- NARME CONFERENCE HOTEL ALMOST SOLD OUT!
- STOSNY: LOVE WITHOUT HURT BOOT CAMP JULY 8-10/DC
- WHY DOES SEX DRY UP IN MOST LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIPS (AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT
IT)
- SUBMITTING UNTO EACH OTHER
- JUST FAKE IT 

_______________________________
- NARME CONFERENCE HOTEL ALMOST SOLD OUT!

Diane, 
Can you let folks on your list know that the NARME Conference hotel is close
to selling out.  That¹s great news for the conference but bad news for
anyone who misses out on the special conference rate of only $109
single/double at the beautiful Hilton.  We also want to encourage them to
register ASAP for the conference and training opportunities and for our real
live Texas Barbeque, Bowling, Networking evening.  The conference, June 27 -
30 in Houston, is fast approaching.  See the website for the incredible line
up of presenters and workshops and for Conference and Hotel Registration
info.  

Maggie Russell
Vice-Chair, National Association for Relationships & Marriage Education

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- STOSNY: LOVE WITHOUT HURT BOOT CAMP JULY 8-10/DC

July 8-10, Gaithersburg, MD (near Washington, DC).
9:30-5:30

A weekend Treatment of Resentment, Anger, or Emotional Abuse developed
to meet the overwhelming requests for the model as demonstrated on Oprah.
This group bootcamp version includes learning how to replace
resentment, anger, and jealousy with COMPASSIONATE NEGOTIATION plus
relapse prevention.

The Boot Camp produces dramatic change in a short time for those who do the
work. The tone is healing, not accusatory, compassionate not blaming,
valuing not devaluing, and, most of all, empowering. The first two days
focus on self-healing and developing core value and self-compassion. The
last day focuses on relationship repair.

$699 per single person/$899 per couple (includes 24 hrs of workshop, manual,
handouts, CD-ROMs,
3 recorded webinars, beverages, and snacks). Wyndham Gardens, Gaithersburg -
$89 s/d For
Info or to register:
http://tinyurl.com/44tjb8b
 
For individuals or couples with problems of resentment, anger or emotional
abuse, OR, attend to learn how to use this approach in any setting.

You can see clips of the approach from Oprah and testimonials on the
Compassion Power website, and you can download and listen to his workshops
from the Orlando Smart Marriages Conference at 800-241-7785 or at
http://www.iplaybacksmartmarriages.com
 
#750-301 
Love Without Hurt
Steven Stosny, PhD
Learn how to use this approach in marriage education
settings to help overcome entrenched resentment, anger,
verbal and emotional abuse BEFORE you try to teach
communication skills.

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- WHY DOES SEX DRY UP IN MOST LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIPS (AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT
IT)
. . . . For example, androgen receptors in the brain decline after
ejaculation , and may take up to seven days to normalize. (That means the
effects of testosterone may be blunted for a while, affecting zest.) Opioids
released during copulation hang around for a while‹apparently causing
lingering declines in oxytocin, which hamper sexual responsiveness. . . . .
Whatever the precise mechanisms, the brain changes subtly after  orgasm, and
any decrease in responsiveness is bad news for lovers. Now,  libido tends to
go in divergent directions‹simply because people  experience the return to
homeostasis differently following an orgasmic  neurochemical wallop. . . .
Interestingly, sages across the globe have also developed little  known
techniques for managing sex to keep lovers in balance and sustain  the
harmony in their unions. Kosher sex, for example, prescribes almost  two
weeks a month in separate beds while couples restore their  magnetism.

For the full article:
http://tinyurl.com/3rfsxjq

-----------------------------------
- SUBMITTING UNTO EACH OTHER
Happy June! - the wedding month.  Here¹s a good reminder article.

Sex will hold your marriage together
MARY JO RAPINI, SPECIAL TO THE HOUSTON CHRONICLE

. . . Being married is submitting to someone or giving in on what you want,
and working toward what is best for the marriage. We don't like to submit
and submitting has a bad name, especially for women. . . . . It may seem
easy, but we like our own way, we think we are right, and they are wrong, or
we just think we know what is  best for the marriage. None of those excuses
work well, because the  only way to weave together your life successfully
with another is to submit your needs for the needs of the marriage. . . .

Making love is a submission of two people. It isn't the porn on the
computer, it isn't "Desperate Housewives," and it isn't the perfect body you
see in the magazine. It is two people loving and wanting to  please one
another. It is beautiful, sacred, and it works to keep a marriage strong and
happy better than any drug, therapy, or device you can purchase. The problem
is many women see it as something men  want and will use them for, and men
see it as something women use as a  weapon. When this happens it isn't
sacred anymore, nor is it beautiful.  This attitude becomes a marriage
killer, and it leads to resentment, hostility andcheating.

Before you say those vows, ask your fiancée to write them down with  you.
Frame them, and put them up in your home. Use that as your prayer each night
or early in the morning. You have created a bond that can afford you true
happiness. A healthy marriage also helps predict successful children and
grandchildren. Make sure you tell your partner that "underneath their
clothes is and will be your territory" until death do you part. Keep the
love-making/submitting alive in your marriage. Submission is the key, but
the gift of submission is  each of you submits to the other. That requires a
lot of faith, and  love. If you cannot submit to your partner save yourself
a lot of grief  and don't get married. One sided marital submission is a
predictor of divorce.

For the full piece: http://tinyurl.com/3zwd68u

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- JUST FAKE IT 
So many possible posts ­ only send you about 1 in 100....sending this one
for the wisdom sweetly given by a wife looking back at the lesson learned
from a mishap at her wedding ceremony: http://tinyurl.com/3hb7u46
But even better, sending because she links to the Blog of
Reverend-Know-It-All, a Catholic priest who has quite a lot of fun with his
blog and a happy discovery. On marriage, he rants thusly:

Here is the heart of my complaint. IT IS STUPID TO SPEND MORE TIME AND MONEY
PREPARING FOR THE WEDDING THAN YOU DO PREPARING FOR THE MARRIAGE!!! I have
known people who are still paying the credit card bills generated by the
wedding years after the marriage is over.
The Modern Method of Marriage, a Reprise. The following is taken from my own
experiences and things people have told me (outside of confession, you¹ll be
glad to know.) Here goes.

For the full monty:
http://tinyurl.com/3fzqlah

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