Obama Marriage Tip / Spousonomics / Free Resources / Marriage Retreats - 2/21/11

[Smartmarriages]

I¹m back. I hope you all had a great Marriage Week and Valentine¹s Day.  I
apologize that many of you didn¹t see the notice that I was going to be away
for a month and have been very frustrated trying (repeatedly) to reach me.
I will do my best to answer all email and phone messages by the end of the
week and to get the Directory edits up to date.  If you have schedule
changes or notices for the newslist, now is the time to send them.
- diane 

-------------------------
- MICHELLE OBAMA MARRIAGE TIP
- "SPOUSONOMICS": Using Economics to Master Love, Marriage and Dirty Dishes
- NAVIGATING LIFE¹S JOURNEY: FREE RESOURCE - PASS IT ON!
- Couples retreats an Rx for sex and intimacy

-------------------------
- MICHELLE OBAMA MARRIAGE TIP
Feb 16, 2011

Life in the public eye is always tough on a marriage, even when your husband
isn¹t the leader of the free world.  So how does our first lady keep her
marriage thriving even though it¹s competing with a job that literally
carries the weight of the world with it?  Her secret, she told reporters at
a recent White House luncheon, is deceptively simple.

³I think a lot of laughing,² the first lady told reporters. ²I think in our
house we don¹t take ourselves too seriously, and laughter is the best form
of unity, I think, in a marriage.

³So we still find ways to have fun together, and a lot of it is private and
personal. But we keep each other smiling and that¹s good,² she added.
***********
I¹ll add this quote to the the Smart Marriages Quotes page with these other
folks that agree with her about the value of laughter. - diane

Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.
Victor Borge
****************
Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly.
Rose Franken
****************
Sexiness wears thin after a while, and beauty fades. But to
be married to a man who makes you laugh every day, ah,
now that's a real treat.
Joanne Woodward
***************
The more things we can laugh about, the more alive we become: The more
things we can laugh about together, the more connected we become.
Frank Pittman
********************
You're still the one
That makes me laugh
Still the one
That's my better half
We're still having fun
And you're still the one
**********************

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-  "SPOUSONOMICS": Using Economics to Master Love, Marriage and Dirty Dishes

A clear-eyed, rational route to demystifying your disagreements and
improving your relationship. The key, they propose, is to think like an
economist.  Economics is the study of resource allocation, after all. How do
we‹as partners in a society, a business, or a marriage‹spend our limited
time, money, and energy? And how do we allocate these resources most
efficiently? Spousonomics answers these questions by taking classic economic
concepts and applying them to the domestic front. For example:
  
 € Arguing all night isn¹t a sign of a communication breakdown; you¹re just
extremely loss-averse‹and by refusing to give an inch, you¹re risking even
greater losses. 
 € Stay late at the office, or come home for dinner? Be honest about your
mother-in-law, or keep your mouth shut and smile? Let the cost-benefit
analysis make the call.
 € Getting your spouse to clean the gutters isn¹t a matter of nagging or
guilt-tripping; it¹s a question of finding the right incentives.
 € Being ³too busy² to exercise or forgetting your anniversary (again): your
overtaxed memory and hectic schedule aren¹t to blame‹moral hazard is.
 € And when it comes to having more sex: merely a question of supply and
demand! 

And, here¹s a summary article by the author that says ³Do the Dishes, Lose
Weight, Don¹t Talk So Much, and Put Out²
 http://tinyurl.com/65xvgux

Have any of you read the book?  Let me know what you think.  - diane
http://tinyurl.com/2wge8mk

-------------------------------------
- NAVIGATING LIFE¹S JOURNEY: FREE RESOURCE - PASS IT ON!

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The e-mails will be short and easy-to-read with links to additional
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Subscribe at: www.arfamilies.org <http://www.arfamilies.org/>

Please forward to your lists.

-------------------------------------
- Couples retreat is an Rx for sex and intimacy
USA Today ­ 2/10/11

SIESTA KEY, Fla. ­ The couple timeline is pretty predictable.

Lots of sex early on, when every date is Valentine's Day. Then come routine,
maybe kids, decreased communication, boredom or any combination of these,
which turn a once-sizzling union into a back-burner one.

That's what has brought most of the six couples to Diana and Richard
Daffner's studio in this beachfront resort town on a recent Friday night.
They've traveled to a weekend "Intimacy Retreat" in hopes of recharging
their relationships. Unlike some programs, the focus is not on rescuing a
failing marriage. It's about getting closer and heating things up in the
bedroom.. . .

The article also lists other retreats like these two:

€The "Marriage Boot Camp," four-day sessions offered around the country,
digs deep to examine a couple's issues and how to resolve them. Cost: $1,200
a couple (participating duos don't have to be married). Lodging and meals
are not included. 214-736-9991;        marriagebootcamp.com
<http://marriagebootcamp.com/>

€"Love Your Relationship" weekends, led by noted marriage researcher Howard
Markman (author of Fighting for Your Marriage), are getaways that focus on
communication, hidden issues, commitment, fun and friendship and sensuality.
The next session is April 30-May 1 in Denver. Cost: $1,299 a couple; hotel
and most meals extra. 866-601-5683;        loveyourrelationship.com
<http://loveyourrelationship.com/>

Full article: http://tinyurl.com/4aqalc5

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