Fiesta Confusion/ Office Romance / Single Women/ Neglect / Child Poverty / Wedding Surprise - 9/20/10

Smartmarriages smartmarriages at lists101.his.com
Mon Sep 20 06:10:19 EDT 2010


- BETTER MARRIAGES FIESTA ­ CONNECTION?
- WHY OFFICE ROMANCES ON THE WANE
- CITIES WITH A SHORTAGE OF SINGLE WOMEN
- NEGLECT IS ABUSE
- Marriage: America¹s Greatest Weapon Against Child Poverty
- SURPRISE FOR THE BRIDE
--------------------------------

- BETTER MARRIAGES FIESTA ­ CONNECTION?

Diane: I received the "Better Marriages" save-the-dates card and email.  I
notice that you announced this conference on your list and that you are on
their board.  Could you be less subtle and explain to me if there is a
connection with Smart Marriages. Especially since this conference is taking
place during the time when Smart Marriages traditionally took place, is this
a passing-of-the-torch, or is it entirely something different all together?
- Brant 

I have received dozens of inquires and can see how this would be confusing,
but this is, as you say, entirely something different all together.....it is
not a passing of the torch in any way. There are many Marriage conferences
out there, this one just happens to be in July.  I am no longer on their
board. - diane 

-------------------------------------
- WHY OFFICE ROMANCES ON THE WANE
A strange sign of the times that will reduce infidelity and might help
strengthen marriage.

http://tinyurl.com/27wf44u

-----------------------------------
- CITIES WITH A SHORTAGE OF SINGLE WOMEN
Hard to believe, but a study reports cities with a such a shortage of
eligible single women in which men are more likely to commit more quickly:
Las Vegas, San Diego, Salt Lake City, Austin, Phoenix make up the top 5.   -
diane 

----------------------------------

- NEGLECT IS ABUSE
Hello,
> 
> I have some pretty unique circumstances in my marriage. I have not been able
> to find anything to help. Lots to help if your husband wants sex and you
> don¹t. But what about when it is the other way around? My problem isn¹t with
> conventional abuse. My problem is total NEGLECT. I already know the pat
> answer. Leave him. That is not going to happen. I am looking for tools.  If
> you can help me survive with my situation the same that other woman have to
> survive conventional abuse, please let me know. I have been looking for more
> than 2 years now.
> S.R.
> I do not currently have a phone, but I can usually get somewhere to use the
> internet. I will be waiting for your response. So even if you can¹t help
> please at least reply and let me know.
> 

First, yes ­ being neglected or ignored is a painful form of abuse. And, you
are not alone ­ you can be sure there are thousands of wives who share your
predicament.  And, the internet is so full of every kind of help and advice,
that I¹m surprised that you have not been able to find anything in your
search.  Maybe it is as you say, everything is directed at the usual
problems...
I suggest you start with the book The Sex Starved Wife by Michele
Weiner-Davis.  Also, check out her website Divorce Busting where you can use
the forum (click Online Community) to get advice from others who may have
walked in your shoes.  http://www.divorcebusting.com/

I don¹t know where you are located, but you might be able to find a Marriage
Education/Enrichment class at a church or center in your community.   If you
can get your husband to attend, it would help him gain awareness and skills.
There are classes you can attend alone, like The Third Option
http://tinyurl.com/2ex4m3h  And classes like Retrouvaille
http://tinyurl.com/yklx362 that are free or by donation.  The trick is
finding one near you.  If you cannot find a class, you might be able to find
some of the programs/DVDs at your library or purchase some of the programs
on DVD or download them from the internet.  Try the Directory and check out
the TOOB and FOOB http://tinyurl.com/24dtu5b  programs:
http://www.smartmarriages.com/app/Directory.BrowsePrograms

-----------------------------------------
- Marriage: America¹s Greatest Weapon Against Child Poverty
The Heritage Foundation/ September 16, 2010 by Robert Rector Rector

 Abstract: Child poverty is an ongoing national concern, but few are aware
that its principal cause is the absence of married fathers in the home.
Marriage remains America¹s strongest anti-poverty weapon, yet it continues
to decline. As husbands disappear from the home, poverty and welfare
dependence will increase, and children and parents will suffer as a result.
Since marital decline drives up child poverty and welfare dependence, and
since the poor aspire to healthy marriage but lack the norms, understanding,
and skills to achieve it, it is reasonable for government to take active
steps to strengthen marriage. Just as government discourages youth from
dropping out of school, it should provide information that will help people
to form and maintain healthy marriages and delay childbearing until they are
married and economically stable. In particular, clarifying the severe
shortcomings of the ³child first, marriage later² philosophy to potential
parents in lower-income communities should be a priority.

Full report with charts and talking points: http://tinyurl.com/2v3qqmg

---------------------------------------
- SURPRISE FOR THE BRIDE

An uplifting wedding surprise:
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KgZ4ZTTfK
> 
----------------------------------

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