Signs of the Times: Cyrano de-Online-Dating / Monogamy revisited / Dating Divas/Stepfamilies / Massages -6/1/10

[Smartmarriages]

- TALK ABOUT A SIGN OF THE TIMES! ONLINE DATING SURROGATES
- 'SEX AT DAWN' AUTHORS: INFIDELITY ONLY NATURAL
- THE DAHLING DATING DIVAS BLOG
- STEPFAMILIES 
- HOTEL ALERT 
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- TALK ABOUT A SIGN OF THE TIMES! ONLINE DATING SURROGATES

It's just for the first steps, what these guys see as secretarial -
composing a profile, sending dating requests, AND answering the early-stage
emails. Clearly points out a huge gender difference.  To females it seems so
unromantic ­ to the point of being unethical.  To the males, it's just
asking someone else to string the bow - to "generate leads." - diane

Online dating assistants help the lonely and busy
By Ellen McCarthy Washington Post Staff Writer
Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Max Hartshorn has pretty much mastered online dating.

It took awhile, but the 24-year-old now knows exactly what kind of message
to send to pique a woman's interest. The Montreal research assistant will
come home from work, sit down with his laptop and bang out dozens of e-mails
to attractive, eligible women.

He's never needy -- always charming and a little flirtatious. He keeps his
missives short and usually includes a question or a subtle challenge. He's
witty, a touch aloof and not overly complimentary.

And when he gets the woman, it's not his heart that flutters. It's his bank
account. 

Hartshorn is a hired gun, ghostwriting correspondence on behalf of single
men unwilling, too busy or too inept to do it themselves. His online dating
is done on commission for Virtual Dating Assistants, one of the first
full-scale Internet-dating outsourcing companies. For $600, Virtual Dating
Assistants guarantees clients two dates a month; the "executive service"
package promises five dates a month for $1,200.

"I get paid for each woman who writes back positively," explains the
modern-day Cyrano de Bergerac. "It's very analogous to sales . . . like a
cold-caller or a telemarketer."

A telemarketer who toils anonymously in pursuit of love for the lonely.
Darkly romantic, no?

No. "I don't care that much if it becomes a date or not," Hartshorn admits.
His job is "lead generation" only. Sealing the deal is up to the company's
"closers." 

For the full article:
http://tinyurl.com/2e87kod

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- 'SEX AT DAWN' AUTHORS: INFIDELITY ONLY NATURAL

Actually the headline is "a LITTLE Infidelity is only natural" for this
article in Sunday's (5/30/10) Washington Post about a new book: "Sex at
Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality" due out this summer.
Using studies of early human cultures and those of remote tribes that don't
place a high value on monogamy in fact the authors point out that *Some
peoples believed babies could receive genetic material from multiple
fathers, so women were encouraged to have sex with men who could pass on
different positive characteristics* - thus the authors basically conclude
everyone has always been doing it and it's monogamy that's unnatural. We've
come a long way from believing we could create designer babies from sleeping
around.....and much else has changed from THE DAWN - like, how about
civilization.  The authors hope the book will spark honest conversations
between couples and more tolerant, open marriages, like their own marriage.
So, that's their solution.

We won't have Tyan and Jetha in Orlando, but we will have a whole bunch of
infidelity experts and we can hash all this out in keynotes, Institutes,
workshops  - see the line up: http://www.smartmarriages.com/sex.track.html

Which reminds me that last time I sent the link to the Sex/Infidelity track
I heard from someone who was quite upset that I put wholesome, wonderful,
God-ordained marital SEX in the same track with Infidelity.  So, I apologize
to that reader in advance and register her upset with all of you.  If I had
time to fix it, I'd try.  Maybe next year.  - diane

Here's the full article, also by Ellen McCarthy of the Washington Post:
http://tinyurl.com/34t9b9n

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- THE DAHLING DATING DIVAS BLOG
This is a great website - a dozen young wives on how to keep your marriage
fun and alive.  http://thedahlingdatingdivas.blogspot.com/>   Pass it on.

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- STEPFAMILIES 

Just got a call from someone who needed to change her Institute selection.
She says they just completed an analysis of their community marriage efforts
and realize that they're losing way too many remarriage couples - remarried
and/or couples marrying for the first time who are bringing kids from
earlier relationships.  I agree and keep repeating: If you have a marriage
strengthening program and you don't have a remarriage/stepcouples program
you are definitely going to miss the mark.  Here is the
Stepfamily/Remarriage TRACK which includes the two-day Training Institute
Mastering the Mysteries of Stepfamilies, Mon/Tues July 12 & 13.  You'll
leave fully equipped to begin teaching the course.  You can still add
Institutes with no penalty (there is no early-bird cut-off for Institutes).
http://www.smartmarriages.com/step.track.html

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- HOTEL ALERT 
Just to repeat, because I just talked to another person who was sure she'd
made hotel reservations and had even ordered the Concierge upgrade, and she
wasn't on the master list and she didn't have a reservation.   Please be
sure you've made your hotel reservations.  Do it this week.  See you at the
resort.  Also talked to someone this morning who had also booked her massage
at the spa.  That sounds nice.  This year the Spa/Health Club is included  -
not massages but use of the club.  ALSO one of our exhibitors this year
offers on-the-spot massages.  I'm putting him right next to the Registration
Desk. :)  - diane 

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