Sign Petition/ Team$work / Tiger in Mississippi /Edwards in deep #@+# / Religion & Marriage/ UK Marriage Dust Up - 1/21/10

[Smartmarriages]

- CHANGE.ORG SUPPORTS MARRIAGE EDUCATION AS CHANGE
- MORE ANALYSIS OF THE PEW REPORT
- EDWARDS AND TIGER AND THE ENDLESS LIST....
- TIGER IN MISSISSIPPI
- MARRIAGE AND RELIGIOUS DIFFERENCES
- NEW STATS AND NEW MARRIAGE DUST UP IN UK

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- CHANGE.ORG SUPPORTS MARRIAGE EDUCATION AS CHANGE

Sign this Petition & send letters in support of funding for Marriage
Education for African Americans
http://tinyurl.com/yzq5okw #sm10

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- MORE ANALYSIS OF THE PEW REPORT

Basically, two can earn more than one....teamwork.

> Married college graduates make more money, says Pew report
> By Michelle Singletary
> The Washington Post, January 21, 2010
> 
> If you want a better chance of creating household wealth, earn a college
> degree -- and get married.

http://tinyurl.com/yd46u44

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- EDWARDS AND TIGER AND THE ENDLESS LIST....

In introducing these two news bites, I saw an article in the Washington Post
this morning that used the old terminology ­ in use before someone came up
with sex addiction - "hypersexualized".  Found it somehow refreshing.
Should we just give up and go even further back, back to harems? Instead of
Smart Marriages, Smart Harems? We'd have bigger teams create even wealthier
households?  I know, I've got to get a grip. - diane

- EDWARDS IN DEEP #@+#

Dear Diane, 

I suppose you've seen this mornings breaking news, John Edwards has finally
admitted he fathered a child from his affair. Elizabeth tried so hard to
sustain this marriage, despite everything. But this was more than she could
take - friends say she and John have separated.
Here's an article from NBC with more details:
http://tinyurl.com/yhs66bp

Peggy Vaughan 

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- TIGER IN MISSISSIPPI


Diane,

This is the OTHER story I have been following this morning (besides the one
about John Edwards).

Apparently Tiger Woods is in a sex rehab center in Mississippi. Article in
NY Post:
http://tinyurl.com/yjkxx8e
Link to (apparent) photo of Tiger - with beard, cap, and hoodie:
http://tinyurl.com/yzafyju

Patrick Carnes (the 'sex addiction guru') is Executive Director of the
center outside Hattiesburg, MS:
http://www.pinegrovetreatment.com/gentle-path.html And it looks VERY nice!
http://www.pinegrovetreatment.com/inpatient.html

Supposedly Tiger has been there since December 30. So it looks like he
found a place to 'drop out of sight' where there's no paparazzi - in
Mississippi. But someone found him anyway.

Peggy Vaughan
peggy at dearpeggy.com
http://www.dearpeggy.com
Blog: http://www.dearpeggy.com/blog

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- MARRIAGE AND RELIGIOUS DIFFERENCES

This commentary on Essence.com drew a bunch of interesting comments.  It's
always good to read the comments.  - diane

Commentary: Marriage and Religious Differences
January 19, 2010 
by Nisa Muhammad 
    
How do couples from different backgrounds, cultures and religions achieve
wedded bliss? Can it really work? Take Tariq Saleem Ziyad and Krsnanandini
Devi Dasi. They're from Cleveland. He's Muslim and she's Hare Krsna. Looks
like a recipe for disaster from afar. But up close they're cooking with gas
everyday for a smorgasbord of love. Their motto, "We believe in one God,
honor and respect our friendship everyday." Believe it or not love is blind
to many things. Relationships with significant differences require more time
and attention to be successful.

Here's how it can work. Strive to become one everyday. Do the math. Forget
addition because one plus one always equals two. Multiplication has to occur
for the couple to become one. Each spouse multiplying the efforts of the
other allows them to become one. The husband multiplies the efforts of the
wife and she reciprocates. Then they are on their way to becoming one.

Next, differences should be seen not as obstacles, but as opportunities to
grow closer. Studies show that what separates couples that divorce from
those that don't are not their problems. It's their ability to manage the
conflict that occurs in every marriage. Next there has to be universal
principles often found in religious practices (belief in God, charity, moral
conduct and more) that the couple consents to that will guide their family
and child rearing.  Agree on a list and follow them.

Finally, shared activities will cement the bond. We attend your place of
worship this week--next week, we'll attend mine. We celebrate your
traditions and we celebrate mine. This teaches children honor, respect, and
tolerance. It teaches them that conflict can be resolved peacefully with
love and respect as guiding forces. It teaches them the value of wedded
bliss. 

What do you think? Can religion get in the way of love? Be sure to leave
your comments...

Nisa Muhammad is the founder of Wedded Bliss Inc., an organization dedicated
to bringing couples in the Black community resources and support to nurture
healthy, long-lasting relationships.

 To read comments or add your own:
http://tinyurl.com/ykh54b4

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- NEW STATS AND NEW MARRIAGE DUST UP IN UK

Diane
The last two days have seen our two main political parties here in the UK
sparring over the subject of marriage, especially over tax breaks, as they
release their policies in the run up to our general election (most likely in
May). 

My contribution to the debate was to lob some stunning new statistics into
the pot. My new research
<http://www.bcft.co.uk/2009%20Family%20breakdown%20statistics%20explained.pd
f>  is from the UK 2001 Census survey so it¹s extremely robust.

·      Stat 1: 40% of UK children will experience family breakdown before
their 16th birthday (in fact because of the increase in cohabitation since
this group of children were born in the mid-80s, this figure is probably
closer to 48% now, very unofficially).

·      Stat 2 is truly extraordinary: of the only 60% of British families
with a 15 year old where the parents are still together, 97% were married
and just 3% were cohabiting. This rather undermines the myth of non-married
long term stable relationships (once again, I project that this proportion
will rise to about 10% for today¹s families, very unofficially).

Here are a couple of articles from the UK national papers to give a flavour
of the debate. 
·     Gentle introduction in Times
<http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/politics/article6994455.ece> ;
slightly more punchy article inTelegraph
<http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/politics/7029230/Duncan-Smith-ma
rriage-Balls.html>.
 
Harry Benson       
http://www.bcft.co.uk/

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