Valentine's Day/ Value of Laughter/ Money Before I Do - 2/14/2010

Smartmarriages smartmarriages at
Sun Feb 14 15:48:53 EST 2010



> For Valentine's Day. Edit your Bio to include his/her name. "Married to
> Joe/Jane since 19xx." - smartmarriages

> On Feb 14th we're reminded how we should treat our spouse the
> remaining 364 days of the year. - AhhPhotography:

> After Christmas, Valentines is the 2nd biggest engagement weekend. Let's get
> these marriages off to a solid start! - thefirstdance

> For Valentine's Day, he/she won't mind if you adapt a classic: How do I love
> you? Let me count the ways. - smartmarriages



Let Your Heart or Coach Guide You
Eric V. Copage 
New York Times 
Sunday, February 14, 2010

Gotta admit I like this one because it supports the notion of having a
Marriage Comedy Club at this year's Smart Marriages Conference. That is in
addition to John Gray who always brings the house down.  John Gray will
present Venus on Fire, Mars on Ice on Saturday night and these 5 headliners
will present Sunday night.

> P-11 Sunday, July 11, 7:30pm - Orlando Smart Marriages Conference
> Marriage Comedy Club
> Yakov Smirnoff, Jay and Laura Laffoon, Kerri Pomarolli and Ron McGehee
> The research is in ­ laughter strengthens the immune system, raises sex
> hormones, lowers stress hormones and blood pressure. Learn how to use humor to
> deliver marriage material ­ to change perspectives, shake up rigid systems,
> open couples to laugh, listen, and connect. Laughter is the shortest distance
> between two people. Laugh often, laugh loud...laugh until you gasp for breath.
> Together!

Also, Yakov Smirnoff will introduce his new Marriage Education program,
Happily Ever Laughter.

> 705 - Sunday, July 11,
> Plan for Happily Ever Laughter
> Yakov Smirnoff, MA
> Learn to use the Performer/Audience concept
> to create love & laughter, rekindle and sustain
> the honeymoon stage of your relationship. This
> Plan becomes your guide to happily ever laughter.

Smirnoff, who has appeared in a bunch of top movies and TV shows & on
Broadway, performs at his own theatre in Branson, Missouri and is an Adjunct
Professor at Missouri State University.

Here's a clip from the article from today's New York Times:

> . . . .  .So he and other coaches often tell men to find comedy clubs or
> amusement parks for social energy.
> Laughter is something that Mr. Savoy insists is vital to a date, a
> communication tool, he said, ³that says we¹re on the same side.²
> One coach, David DeAngelo, has gone as far as to offer a comedy course that
> promises, among other things, to show ³how to perfectly blend Œcocky¹ with
> Œfunny¹ so your humor is always creating and building her attraction for you.²
> When you are around people who are funny and charming, you tend to be more
> attracted to them, said Helen Fisher, a research professor in the anthropology
> department of Rutgers University and the author of ³Why Him? Why Her?: How to
> Find and Keep Lasting Love.²

For the full article:

And, here are some supporting quotes from our Smart Marriages quotes page.
Send yours to add, here:

> You're still the one
>  That makes me laugh
>  We're still having fun
>  And you're still the one
> Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.
> Sexiness wears thin after a while, and beauty fades. But to
>  be married to a man who makes you laugh every day, ah,
>  now that's a real treat.
>  Joanne Woodward
> The more things we can laugh about, the more alive we become: The more
> things we can laugh about together, the more connected we become.
> Frank Pittman

I look forward to laughing together in Orlando.....we've earned a few good
laughs this year.  - diane



Questions to Ask After 'I Will' but Before 'I Do'

Wall Street Jrnl 
Feb 14, 2010 


All over the country today -- Valentine's Day -- men are down on bended knee
proposing marriage. They will speak of love and affection and devotion. Few,
however, will mention what really matters: money.

Crass, maybe. But true nonetheless.

When you think about it, couples don't fight over love. They fight over
money. They fight because one person didn't balance the checkbook or made a
bone-headed investment without consulting the other. They fight because one
partner exerts dictatorial control over the money, or because one has
secretly amassed thousands of dollars in debt on a credit card, imperiling
the couple's finances.

Whether the issues are big or small, money will prove a powerful force
impacting your marriage -- sometimes overtly in the form of routine
arguments; sometimes quietly as animosities seethe beneath the surface for
years, only to explode into a potentially marriage-ending supernova.

What couples don't always grasp is that money is rarely the real culprit.
It's the lack of communication, often stemming from a lack of knowledge
about each other's personal financial quirks and beliefs.

So, some time between "Yes, I will marry you," and "I do," you and your
partner need to have The Money Talk -- the key questions all couples should
ask of one another.

Here are four of the more important questions to ask each other, since they
provide insight and information on how money will flow through your

And, you can help couples handle all this with the Money Habitudes program.
Syble Solomon will teach the program in a workshop but also in a full-day
Training Institute in Orlando:

> 913 One Day - Monday, July 12
> Money Habitudes
> Syble Solomon, MEd
> The truth is that money ­ the actual dollar amount ­ is not the #1 cause of
> conflict in marriage. A unique card deck gives couples & individuals
> life-changing insights into their attitudes about money. Teach groups, use
> with individuals, couples, youth, or add to any marriage program. $50 spouse
> discount. Click for more information:


It wouldn't be Valentine's Day around here if I didn't repeat this one.

> On Valentine's Day
>      An old man got on a bus one February 14th, carrying a dozen
>      roses.  He sat beside a young man.  The young man looked at
>      the roses and said, "Somebody's going to get a beautiful
>      Valentine's Day gift."
>      "Yes," said the old man.
>      A few minutes went by and the old man noticed that his young
>      companion was staring at the roses.  "Do you have a
>      girlfriend?" the old man asked.
>      "I do," said the young man.  "I'm going to see her right
>      now, and I'm going to give her this Valentine's Day card."
>      They rode in silence for another 10 minutes, and then the
>      old man got up to get off the bus.  As he stepped out into
>      the aisle, he suddenly placed the roses on the young man's
>      lap and said, "I think my wife would want you to have these.
>      I'll tell her that I gave them to you."
>      He left the bus quickly.  As the bus pulled away, the young
>      man turned to see the old man enter the gates of a cemetery.

And, these:

> Grow old along with me.  The best is yet to be - the last of life for
> which the first was made.
> Robert Browning

And here's one from Sam Bradley, a frequent Smart Marriages presenter:

> I'm very neat. My wife is messy - never picks anything up.
> Doesn't even notice the mess - it's below her radar. I cured
> myself from my annoyance with her by imagining that she had died
> and then asking myself, "If you could bring her back to life but she'd
> still be messy, leave clutter all over the house - 5 pairs of shoes in the
> living room, would you still want her back?" "Yes, for sure!"
> And, it cured me. Whenever I get annoyed with her mess, I rerun the script.
> Sam Bradley, "Marriage Makeover" workshop Smart Marriages Conference, Reno
> For most people, a life lived alone, with passing strangers or passing lovers,
> is incoherent and ultimately unbearable. Someone must be there to know what we
> have done for those we love. Frank Pittman
> The Time is Now: If you are ever going to love me, Love me now, while I can
> know The sweet and tender feelings Which from true affection flow. Love me now
> While I am living. Do not wait until I'm gone And then have it chiseled in
> marble, Sweet words on ice-cold stone. If you have tender thoughts of me,
> Please tell me now. - Unknown

Of course, there are a few 100 more here:

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