Angry Women / Heart of Stone /Paternity DNA / Bishops on Marriage - 11/20/09

Fri Nov 20 15:16:18 EST 2009

- LOOKING FOR JUST ONE ANGRY WOMAN
- HEART OF STONE: DOCUMENTARY SCREENING IN DC
- PATERNITY IN A DNA AGE
- CATHOLIC BISHOPS' PASTORAL LETTER ON MARRIAGE

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- LOOKING FOR JUST ONE ANGRY WOMAN

The Discovery Health Channel is looking for a woman with a long-standing
anger problem that has affected work, family, and well being. They want to
air your story. They will also send you to a free boot camp with Dr. Stosny.

If interested, please contact compassionpower at compassionpower.com.

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- HEART OF STONE: DOCUMENTARY SCREENING IN DC

Heart of Stone, an award-winning documentary about one our most challenging
problems  raising kids in the inner city without male role models  will
screen at the Washington, DC Jewish Film Festival, 4pm Dec 13, at the
Goldman Theatre, 1529 16th St NW at Q St. Tickets are $10.  The film doesn't
just document the problem, it suggests solutions.  Hal Braff, Smart
Marriages conference presenter, is part of the production team will
participate in a panel discussion following the screening.  I will be there
to see if the film would be suitable for our Smart Marriages film festival
in Orlando and encourage anyone in the DC area to join us. Forward this to
anyone you know in the DC area.   Speaking of the Smart Marriages Film
Festival, send your nominations and a DVD, when possible.   - diane

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- PATERNITY IN A DNA AGE

Who Knew I Was Not the Father
Ruth Padawer
New York Times/ Nov 2009

We live in interesting times.  Just when you think DNA would solve paternity
issues......it doesn't.  As we keep saying, being a father is so much more
than providing the DNA.....

> In an age of DNA, when biological relationships can be identified with
> certainty, it can seem absurd to hew so closely to a centuries-old idea of
> paternity. And yet basing paternity decisions solely on genetics places the
> nonbiological father¹s welfare above the child¹s. Phil Reilly, a lawyer who is
> also a clinical geneticist, has been wrestling with the policy implications of
> DNA testing for years, and even he is stumped about how society should manage
> the problem that men like Mike face. ³We¹re at a point in our society where
> the DNA molecule is ascendant, and it¹s very much in the public¹s
> consciousness that this is a powerful way to identify relationships,² Reilly
> says. ³Yet at the same time, more people than ever are adopting children,
> showing that parents can very much love a child who is not their own. The
> difference here for many men is the combination of hurt and rage over the
> deceit, the fact that they¹re twice beaten. I can see both sides of this
> argument. As a nation, we¹re still in search of what the most ethical policy
> should be. Every solution is imperfect.²
> 
> Once a man has been deemed a father, either because of marriage or because he
> has acknowledged paternity (by agreeing to be on the birth certificate, say,
> or paying child support), most state courts say he cannot then abandon that
> child ‹ no matter what a DNA test subsequently reveals.

And
> Many of Ogden¹s friends and family don¹t understand why he and Griggs remained
> close after discovering they were biological strangers. ³They don¹t get the
> whole idea that believing you¹re genetically connected makes something happen
> between people,² Ogden said. ³All the emotions and feelings were there because
> we were convinced we were linked. I had committed myself to this child, and
> when I found out she wasn¹t my child, how could I just step away?²

For the full article: http://tinyurl.com/yg3qk9y

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- CATHOLIC BISHOPS' PASTORAL LETTER ON MARRIAGE

November 18, 2009
Column #1,473
Catholic Bishops' Pastoral Letter on Marriage
By Mike McManus

       This week America's Catholic Bishops issued a major Pastoral Letter,
"Marriage: Love and Life in the Divine Plan."  It is the first such
comprehensive declaration of support for marriage by any denomination I have
witnessed in nearly three decades of writing this column.

       The Letter was prompted by the bishops' concern about several
disturbing trends. 

      First, while young people "esteem marriage," many are "reluctant to
make the actual commitment necessary to enter and sustain it."  Instead,
many are choosing "to live in cohabiting relationships that may or may not
lead to marriage and can be detrimental to the well-being of their children
and themselves." 

       Second, they noted "the incidence of divorce remains high." Further,
many are viewing marriage as a "private matter, an individualistic project
not related to the common good."

       Finally, the bishops want to oppose "all attempts to redefine
marriage so that it would no longer be exclusively the union of a man and a
woman as God established and blessed it."

       Quoting Genesis 2:23, they state, "Adam and Eve were literally made
for each other" and are related "precisely in their differences."  Marriage
has two fundamental purposes: "the good of the spouses as well as the
procreation and education of children."

       They eloquently state that, "procreation is a participation in the
ongoing creative activity of GodŠThe transmission of life is a sublime,
concrete realization of this radical self-gift between a man and a woman."

       This conviction prompted the bishops to oppose same-sex unions which
"are incapable of realizing this specific communion of persons."  Such a
stand sparks controversy.

      Last week the Archdiocese of Washington warned the city's government
that if it legalized same-sex marriage and did not allow the church to be
exempt from any measure mandating benefits to gays, such as allowing them to
adopt children - that Catholic Charities would have to terminate its
contracts with the city that serve 68,000 people in homeless shelters,
foster care, job training, etc.

      The Archdiocese urged the city to allow a referendum on whether to
legalize same-sex marriages.  On Tuesday that was denied by the city's Board
of Elections. 

      The Pastoral Letter also argues that the Sacrament of Matrimony is a
"call to give oneself to one's spouse as Christ gave himself to the Church."

      The bishops reject the idea of some evangelicals that a wife is in a
"one-sided subjection" to her husband, based on Eph. 5:22 that "wives should
be subordinate to their husbands as to the Lord."  They quote Pope John Paul
II as noting the previous verse: "be subordinate to one another out of
reverence for Christ" (Eph. 5:21).

      They summarize: "Marriage is a communion of love between co-equal
persons." This is theologically sound analysis.

      At times the bishops are as eloquent as they are profound.  For
example, they write, "The Church is built on a foundation of marriage and
family life, which it cherishes as the school of a deeper humanity and a
cradle of the civilization of love."

      The Pastoral Letter was debated by the U.S. Conference of Catholic
Bishops this week. Various bishops proposed minor changes in wording.
Instead of calling cohabitation "an intrinsically evil action," living
together was labeled "objectively wrong."

      The drafting committee accepted 30 such changes.  Those which the
committee rejected could be argued for by a bishop, with the amendment voted
upon by all bishops. In the end, the entire Pastoral Letter was approved by
a vote of 180 to 45.

      What was disappointing was the Letter's failure to suggest solutions
for the problems cited of soaring cohabitation, plunging marriages and a
high divorce rate. 

      Bishop Gerald Gettelfinger of Evansville proposed an amendment noting
that in more than 200 cities Catholic priests have joined Protestant clergy
in creating Community Marriage Policies to reverse these trends by training
couples in healthy marriages to mentor others.  He stated, "Bishop John
McCarthy initiated a Community Marriage Policy in Austin, TX in 1996 and
dropped the divorce rate 50% within 5 years," as did six other cities.

      He also asserted that in four out of five divorces, "one spouse wishes
to remain married, but is legally silenced by No Fault" divorce laws that
allow one spouse to unilaterally end a marriage. He proposed a change in
state law: "In cases involving minor children, require mutual consent for
marital termination, unless a major fault, such as adultery, abandonment or
physical abuse, can be proven."

(Disclosure: Bishop Gettelfinger asked me to help draft the amendment.) It
was rejected and was not debated on the floor.

The Letter has 60 pages of eloquence, but few concrete strategies for
reform.

Copyright © 2009 Michael J. McManus

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