Youth Bonus Sessions/ Marriage in the GPS Age /Tech Boot Camp goes Live / Fireproof Questions - 5/28/09

[Smartmarriages]

- ANTICIPATION, ANTICIPATION
- YOUTH EDUCATION BONUS SESSIONS
- THIS JUST IN: WHY WE NEED TO FOCUS ON YOUTH
- NEW INFIDELITY BUSTERS
- AND, SPEAKING OF TECHNOLOGY: MUSIC FOR YOUR YEAR
- TECH BOOT CAMP IN ORLANDO - WE'RE GOING LIVE!
- HOW TO PRESENT OR EXHIBIT
- THE FIREPROOF LUNCHEON

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- - ANTICIPATION, ANTICIPATION

Phones are ringing and registrations pouring in. Most calls today were from
people overwhelmed with so many sessions, so many decisions. Every time they
pick up the brochure they see another session they want to attend and keep
going back to try to register but can't quite bring themselves to hit send.
I tell them that's a normal reaction - everyone wants to attend every
session ­ but everything is recorded and they'll be just fine.  It's a form
of post-traumatic shock - they are near tears after they realize they can
attend only ONE pre conference training, and ONE post conference, and one
workshop on each page.  They start out circling four or five per page and
then realize they all start at the same time and then call me thinking maybe
I'll tell them otherwise.   As I talk to these first-timers I realize just
how incredibly rich the program is - *I've never seen a conference like
this!* - which reminds me to THANK THE PRESENTERS. I wish each of you could
answer the phones for a few hours. They cannot wait for Orlando.  Their awe
and anticipation would get you inspired.  See you in a month.     - diane

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- YOUTH EDUCATION BONUS SESSIONS

Diane, 
I know you believe that we have to *start with the kids* so hope you'll
forward this to the list. I want Smart Marriages attendees to realize that
in addition to our spectacular two-day pre-conference training opportunities
(VERY special this year with the opportunity to train and qualify as
instructors in four different curricula) we're also launching (in Orlando)
several new school/youth curricula that weren't ready in time to make it
into the conference brochure.
 
July 7th - 8th (TUES & WED), at the Training Institute #116 people can study
in-person with program creators Marline Pearson (Love U2) and Char Kamper
(Connections) in full day-long intensive sessions. Char and Marline usually
hold trainings only for large, private groups but at Smart Marriages anyone
can come to us and get fully trained and certified in any two curricula -
they'll have optimal flexibility to mix and match among our four classic
programs.  In other words, they can spend one day with Char and one with
Marline to sample both of their approaches, OR can concentrate by spending
both days with one or the other.

July 7:  -Connections: Dating & Emotions (Char), OR
  -Love U2: Relationship Smarts + (Marline)
 
July 8:  -Connections: Relationships & Marriage (Char), OR
  - Love U2: Baby Smarts (Marline).

It's complicated, but we spell it out in detail plus explain the conference
deals and what attendees will receive, etc. See here:
http://www.smartmarriages.com/schools.reed.html
  
PLUS there are two FREE add-on BONUS sessions in Orlando.  I'm concerned
that since these didn't make it into the brochure and because the add-on
bonus sessions are so competitive (and you keep promoting the Tech and Fla
and other sessions), I fear people will miss these.  So I hope you'll tell
people that on THURSDAY at 5:30pm (before the banquet) we will introduce two
new innovative curricula. Tickets for these are freeŠjust stop by our
exhibit booth to reserve a spot. Also be sure to ask about all our new
resources, and pick up a small thank-you gift.

So, Thursday 5:30pm in Wekiwa 1 & 2:
·        Marline will unveil her edgy Love Notes, a relationship skills
program for at-risk young adults and young parents (in English and Spanish).
·        Char will introduce Healthy Choices, Healthy Relationships,
developed for health teachers to teach relationship skills.
 
I know this can be confusing - encourage people to contact me if they have
any questions.
 
Kay Reed
Executive Director
The Dibble Institute
510-528-7975
KayReed at DibbleInstitute.org
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- WHY WE NEED TO FOCUS ON YOUTH: READ IT AND SHUDDER

I know this is nothing new, but since it arrived at same time as Kay's email
and was on Good Morning America this morning, I'll make the point.   It is a
sad, sobering reminder about WHY we need to teach kids about relationships
and give them reasons and skills for managing their teen years and reaching
for what Marline's LoveU2 program calls a North Star....something to aim
for, aspire to, wait and plan for: a healthy, successful marriage.

In addition to the Dibble programs Kay describes above, there are MANY
programs in Orlando that address the TEEN/YOUTH challenges taught by our
brilliant faculty in a mix of settings:
Please check out the rich offerings here:
http://www.smartmarriages.com/school.track.html
-----------------------------------
Teens: Oral Sex and Casual Prostitution No Biggie
May 28, 2009
ABC NEWS 

Teens in Documentary Say Oral Sex 'Not That Big of a Deal' and Get Paid for
Sexual Favors

By CLAIRE SHIPMAN and COLE KAZDIN
 
They don't give their names, but viewers can see their faces plainly and
what these teens are saying is shocking parents.

"I ended up having sex with more than one person that night and then in the
morning I was trying to get morning-after pills," one of the girls said. "I
was, like, 14 at the time."

It's just one of dozens of stories from teenage girls in a new documentary
by Canadian filmmaker Sharlene Azam that aims to shed light on the secret,
extremely sexual  lives of today's teens.

After four years researching for the documentary, Azam told "Good Morning
America" that oral sex  is as common as kissing for teens and that casual
prostitution  -- being paid at parties to strip, give sexual favors or have
sex -- is far more commonplace than once believed.

"If you talk to teens [about oral sex] they'll tell you it's not a big
deal," Azam said. "In fact, they don't consider it sex. They don't consider
a lot of things sex."

Evidence of this casual attitude may be seen in the fact that more than half
of all teens 15 to 19 years old have engaged in oral sex, according to a
comprehensive 2005 study by the Centers for Disease Control's National
Center for Health Statistics
 . 
'Oral Sex Is the New Goodnight Kiss'

In the documentary, "Oral Sex Is the New Goodnight Kiss," girls as young as
11 years old talk about having sex, going to sex parties and -- in some
extreme situations -- crossing into prostitution by exchanging sexual favors
for money, clothes or even homework and then still arriving home in time for
dinner with the family.

"Five minutes and I got $100," one girl said. "If I'm going to sleep with
them, anyway, because they're good-looking, might as well get paid for it,
right?" 

Another girl talked about being offered $20 to take off her shirt or $100 to
do a striptease on a table at a party.

The girls are almost always from good homes, but their parents are
completely unaware, Azam said.

"The prettiest girls from the most successful families [are the most at
risk]. We're not talking about marginalized girls," she said. "[Parents]
don't want to know because they really don't know what to do. I mean, you
might be prepared to learn that, at age 12, your daughter has had sex, but
what are you supposed to do when your daughter has traded her virginity for
$1,000 or a new bag?"

Sex Favors Traded for Relationship Stability

For some of the girls, the sexual favors are not about clothes or money, but
used to keep a relationship together in a chillingly objective way.

"I think there's very much trading for relationship favors, almost like 'you
need to do this [to] stay in this relationship,'" one girl told "Good
Morning America." 

"There's a lot of social pressure," said another. "Especially because of our
age, a lot of girls want to be in a relationship and they're willing to do
anything." 

The girls laughingly admitted they never talk to their parents about their
sexual activity. 

"I mean, we're not looking for our future husbands," one girl said. "We're
just looking for, maybe like .... at our age, especially, I think all of us,
both sexes, we have a lot of urges, I guess, that need to be taken care of.
So if we resort to a casual thing, no strings attached, it's perfectly
fine." 

Azam said she thinks the "no strings attached" romances could be a defense
mechanism against a greater disappointment.

"A lot of girls are disappointed in love," she said. "And I think they
believe they can hook up the way guys do and not care.

"But unfortunately, they do care."

##################################

- NEW INFIDELITY BUSTERS

Diane, 
I wonder if Weiner-Davis and Carder will keynote will include these new
technologies as part of their Infidelity Busting strategies.
Ron 

(See the Infidelity Busting/Close Calls Friday lunch keynote here:
http://www.smartmarriages.com/keynotes.html)

Marriage in the GPS age: Tracking cheating hearts

TECHNOLOGY | Checking out your alibi is easier, cheaper than ever with GPS
technology that nearly tracks your every move
Chicago Sun Times 
May 26, 2009
Frank Main Staff Reporter

The well-to-do suburban professional hid a tiny GPS tracking device in his
family car.

His cheating wife dropped her kids off with her dad, a convicted felon. She
headed to a South Side motel for a rendezvous with her lover.

The global positioning system documented her route to the motel and back --
an adulterous trip she took more than a dozen times. A private investigator
snapped a photo of the couple walking out of the motel together.

In his divorce filing, the husband confronted his wife with the
incriminating evidence.

"She is presently asking for forgiveness for her dalliances," said the
husband's divorce lawyer, Enrico J. Mirabelli, who started using GPS
trackers in his cases less than a year ago.

As they have grown more affordable, GPS trackers have become the latest
weapon on the marital battlefront. On the Internet, they sell for under
$1,000. The cheapest ones store information that's later downloaded onto a
computer that displays the route on a map. The most advanced can show the
vehicle's path in real time.

Smaller than a microcassette recorder, they're easily concealed in a glove
box or a seat pocket. And as long as you own the vehicle, putting a GPS
tracker on it is legal.

"The GPS is a poor man's investigator," Mirabelli said.

In a survey last year of the nation's top divorce attorneys, 88 percent of
them reported a rise in cases relying on electronic data as evidence.

E-mail and Internet browsing histories have been big. And divorce lawyers
also have started using electronic tollway records such as I-Pass to place a
client's spouse in a certain place and time.

But Mirabelli said he rarely subpoenas I-Pass records these days because GPS
information is so much more detailed.

Mirabelli estimated that GPS trackers have saved him up to 80 percent of the
expense of having a private investigator working around the clock to uncover
infidelity.

"You can sit out there for four days, and nothing might happen," said
private investigator Paul Ciolino. "If I have someone out there at $120 an
hour for 14 hours a day and nothing happens, that gets expensive. But if the
GPS says the car is going to a location every Thursday at 2, now you can go
take a look."

......and so on, the article goes on and on, but you get the picture.

###########################
- AND, SPEAKING OF TECHNOLOGY: MUSIC FOR YOUR YEAR

Rick Marks just sent this (below).  It's FREE.  And so easy.  I'm having a
moment listening to Sugar Sugar. My baby boy could be crying and I'd put
Sugar Sugar on and he couldn't help himself, he'd stop crying and start
smiling and bouncing.  Music is like that, can ease the spirit and it's a
direct pipeline to the memories stored in our souls.  Cue up your year and
have this playing when your honey rolls in tonight. And thank Rick in
Orlando.  He is presenting several times including the Family Ministry
Roundtables.  The Family Ministry Roundtables are best attended Networking
event at the conference even though they meet at the crack of dawn (7:30am
Thurs, Fri, & Sat morning).  Bring a bagel and coffee and join in.  Bet Rick
will be playing music to help you find the room.

Rick is also teaching this Fri workshop.

> 516
> Forgive Me, Forgive Me Knot
> Rick Marks, PhD, Don and Angie Power
> Forgiveness is essential to relationship healing. This model identifies
> irrational beliefs (Forgiveness Knots) and teaches the Firstone intervention
> to help couples heal.

 - diane 

Enjoy a whole array of beautiful old songs.100s of them.
Music Of Your Time. Click on your Years.

YEAR <http://www.tropicalglen.com/Jukebox/50-54Top/myjukebox.swf>  50-54

YEAR <http://www.tropicalglen.com/Jukebox/55-59Top/myjukebox.swf>  55-59

YEAR <http://www.tropicalglen.com/Jukebox/60-64Top/myjukebox.swf>  60-64

YEAR <http://www.tropicalglen.com/Jukebox/65-69Top/myjukebox.swf>  65-69

YEAR <http://www.tropicalglen.com/Jukebox/70-74Top/myjukebox.swf>  70-74

YEAR <http://www.tropicalglen.com/Jukebox/75-79Top/myjukebox.swf>  75-79

YEAR <http://www.tropicalglen.com/Jukebox/80-84Top/myjukebox.swf>  80-84

YEAR <http://www.tropicalglen.com/Jukebox/85-89Top/myjukebox.swf>  85-89

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- TECH BOOT CAMP IN ORLANDO - WE'RE GOING LIVE!

Diane, 

I've received several twitters from people in europe, south america,
australia, and from around the US that can't make it to Orlando, but who
would like to experience the conference. I plan to live stream the Marriage
Tech Boot Camp I will present Thurs 5:15pm.  I've created a virtual
ticketing/reservation process.  My hope is that it will generate buzz and
greater awareness about the conference and SmartMarriages and Marriage
Education, in general.

Your smartmarriages list readers can help by visiting (to RSVP for the
session on site or virtually) and by forwarding this link around the world:
http://marriagetechcamp.eventbrite.com

Marc Payan

#################################
- HOW TO PRESENT OR EXHIBIT

> Would you please send information on how to set up a display booth and offer
> materials for sale and/or be a presenter at the Smart Marriages conference in
> Orlando?
> Joel and Kathy D

You are six months too late to apply to be a presenter - presenter
applications are due each year by Oct 10th. But it's not too late to add an
exhibit.  Exhibit info is all right here:
http://www.smartmarriages.com/exhibitors.html

###############################
- THE FIREPROOF LUNCHEON

> Dear Diane!
> 
> I would like to have information on the reservation for the Luncheon with
> the Fireproof team. We are very interested in participating on this. How do
> we proceed?
> Rosa

The Fireproof lunch is $26 per person.

If you've already registered for the Smart Marriages Conference, just call
651-789-3738 and they'll add this luncheon to your registration.  It will be
too late to do it at the conference, must do this in advance.

If you are not registered, and can register for the lunch here:
http://gotomylist.com/cme/smc05/smc09rf2.cfm

You can also register for the FREE full day Fireproof Institutes on Wed #117
and Sun #908 on the same form.  Here is more info about the institute:
http://www.smartmarriages.com/fireproof.ministries.html

Also note that you can attend a free screening of Fireproof. It will be
shown several times throughout the conference.  Check the Film Festival
schedule here: http://www.smartmarriages.com/film.festival.html

And, of course, we welcome and encourage you to join us for the full
conference.  Use that same registration form if you're interested in
attending.  - diane


###########################

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13th Annual Smart Marriages® Conference, The Shingle Creek,
Orlando, Florida, July 6-12, 2009 (General Conference July 8-11)
Pre-Conference Training Institutes July 6-8
Post-Conference Training Institutes July 12
 
Shingle Creek: http://www.rosenshinglecreek.com/

To download a Conference brochure, register online, or for Exhibit
information:
http://www.smartmarriages.com/conferencedetails.html

List your program and resources on the Directory of Classes at
http://www.smartmarriages.com/directory_browse.html

Order conference audio & video CD/DVD/MP3s: 800-241-7785 or
http://www.iPlaybackSmartMarriages.com

Coalition for Marriage, Family and Couples Education, LLC (CMFCE)
Diane Sollee, Director
5310 Belt Rd NW, Washington, DC 20015-1961
http://www.smartmarriages.com
202-362-3332

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