Tweeties / Fighting Boredom / Singles? / Jon & Kate / Counter-Intuitive / Fems - 5/26/09

Tue May 26 11:43:53 EDT 2009

- MY FAVORITE MORNING TWEETS
- HOW TO FIGHT BOREDOM IN MARRIAGE - DO IT STANDING
- SHOULD A SINGLE GUY ATTEND THE MARRIAGE BOOT CAMP?
- ACKNOWLEDGING THE POSTS ABOUT JON AND KATE PLUS EIGHT
- ABORTION LAWS AND MARRIAGE RATES
- MAKING MARRIAGE WORK

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- MY FAVORITE MORNING TWEETS

> RT @JourneytoPeace: @smartmarriages - Just made hotel reservations for July
> conference (even though I'm local) don't want to miss a minute!

> RT @DavidLEisenberg: just weeks since their release, BIXI bikes in Montreal
> have become ubiquitous. http://www.bixisystem.com/h...
(Sharing this one because it's about another practical Green system - like
Marriage.) 

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- HOW TO FIGHT BOREDOM IN MARRIAGE - DO IT STANDING
http://www..fark.com/cgi/vidplayer.pl?IDLink=4365716

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- SHOULD A SINGLE GUY ATTEND THE MARRIAGE BOOT CAMP?

> Hi diane:
> I am a single male, signed up for the entire conference (for educational
> purposes) and I registered for the Marriage Boot camp. I am not married, and
> no partner will accompany me. Will it still be educational for me, and
> also not awkward without having a spouse for the exercises etc that are
> mentioned? In other words, is it a couples only educational experience? - B
> 
>> 808
>> The Marriage Boot Camp Experience
>> Ron and Tina Konkin
>> We learn best by playing games! These drills & exercises will help you
>> quickly understand and resolve unfinished business & begin enjoying your
>> marriage in the here and now. As seen on TLC.
>> 
> 
> Yes, you should attend.  You'll learn a lot.  There are many singles who
> attend the conference - some of whom are married but attending the conference
> alone. Or, sometimes married couples attend the conference but split up and
> attend different workshops so they can cover more bases - learn about more
> programs.  And, then there are the truly single or single-again folks, like
> yourself.  The presenters are aware of the mix and they pair up singles for
> any exercises - and because of the wide mix, you all blend it.  It's not
> awkward. 
> 
> Diane

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- ACKNOWLEDGING THE POSTS ABOUT JON AND KATE PLUS EIGHT

I do not mean to ignore your emails about Jon and Kate and their trials and
tribulations. I appreciate them and find it amazing, as with any media
frenzy, that there are so many different angles and interpretations.  I
appreciate the suggestions that we SHOULD find a way to help Jon & Kate get
beyond the infidelity - that this would be a good way to get our messages
out there, and that it might also be a way to do PR on the conference. I'll
try (help me!) But, for those that think we could get marriage education
classes on the show it looks like the show is already planning to play the
counseling angle for all it's worth (see below).  Others have suggested we
get Jon & Kate to address the conference. They're not in this to help the
world - we could never afford them!  So, this is to acknowledge that I am
reading your emails and I want to suggest back at you to grab an oar. The
best ways for us to get our message out is for all of you who are tracking
the saga to blog, write op eds, and send your comments and suggestions to
your local and to national media. It is an opportunity and you have very
interesting and helpful ideas that the media could use.

Here's a link that suggests the show might incorporate marriage counseling:
http://tinyurl.com/o5mbfn

This one posits that the marital turmoil will make the show more popular
than ever and richer still:
http://tinyurl.com/p7mcw2

And this one belwo illustrates what I mean by all kinds of interpretations
and angles. This from a male at the Baltimore Examiner was a bit too
*practical* and *jaded* for several of you while others appreciated this
perspective.  As one of you put it, it illustrates the point that men
(unlike most women) can and do separate: love and sex; love and commitment;
commitment and marriage; and even the whole commitment/marriage/love package
from monogamy. They can hold all these states separate and distinct.  Men
can be totally committed to one woman for life  intend to stay married
forever and love and cherish and support and protect that wife and kids
 and not think that has to include staying sexually or even emotionally
monogamous.  Hmmmmm....This is why we need to keep meeting and conferencing.

I also understand the concern expressed by one of you this morning that
reality shows are drastically changing us in more ways than we realize.
That was a point made in the Narcissism book I posted about on
Saturday.....that reality TV is a very new phenomenon and that only
narcissists apply and that their behavior is then portrayed as the
norm.....that reality TV normalizes narcissism. I suppose people have been
warning that the sky and morality is falling with every new form of media,
but spose it doesn't hurt to pay attention. But this mornings emailer was
not worried about narcissism, was concerned with the following  anything
and everything being weighed for the dollar value.

> The entire show, however, and all their fortunes are under threat because Jon
> Gosselin is allegedly having an 'affair' (however defined) with a 23-year-old
> teacher.  We can assume that Jon and the teacher are having sex, and I really
> don't see how the sex alone threatens his marriage to Kate.  There is a
> difference between sexual monogamy and emotional monogamy.  Men understand
> that you can have sex without emotion, and if indeed Jon is having an 'affair'
> (that word sounds so 'festive'), sex is probably a big part of it.  Hopefully,
> it's the only worthwhile part of it, because it would be foolish on his part
> to seek emotional bonding with another woman if all he wants is to get laid.
> Sometimes even men can't separate love from sex, and that usually costs them a
> small fortune in divorce court. . . . .

> The smart business move for Kate to make would be to stay married for right
> now.  Let the story run its course and let an audience starving for dirt and
> drama eat up all that is going on - and let advertisers rush in to get a slice
> of the viewership.  Kate is allegedly having an affair with her bodyguard (how
> many real life people have one of those?).  If indeed she is (she denies it),
> she should continue to have fun with her bodyguard or go out and have fun with
> some younger man, all the while ensuring that she is getting nothing less out
> of love and marriage than Jon is.

Full post: http://tinyurl.com/qt68r4

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- ABORTION LAWS AND MARRIAGE RATES

Alerted to this counter-intuitive study this morning via Dave and Liz
Percival's UK Marriage Newsletter: http://www.2-in-2-1.co.uk :

> Still Waiting for Mister Right? Asymmetric Information, Abortion Laws and the
> Timing of Marriage
> Another one from the line of ³Economic modelling² papers on marriage
> <http://econpapers.repec.org/RePEc:iza:izadps:dp4176>   not sure we
> understand the implications, but here goes! Previous studies have suggested
> that more liberal abortion laws should lead to a decrease in marriage rates
> among young women as 'shotgun weddings' are no longer necessary. Empirical
> evidence from the United States lends support to that hypothesis. This paper
> presents an alternative theory of abortion access and marriage based on
> asymmetric information, which suggests that more liberal abortion laws may
> actually promote young marriage. An empirical examination of marriage data
> from Eastern Europe shows that countries that liberalized their abortion laws
> saw an increase in marriage rates among non-teenage women.

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- MAKING MARRIAGE WORK

Feminist Review: Making Marriage Work: A History of Marriage and ...
By Feminist Review 
In Making Marriage Work, Kristin Celello outlines the evolution of public
perceptions and attitudes about marriage and divorce in the United States
throughout the twentieth century. Drawing on magazine articles, films and
popular books, ... http://feministreview.blogspot.com/

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