ACF Nominee / Vols & Exhibits/ Cell Phone Education/ Prepare/Enrich /No-Fault -5/6/09

[Smartmarriages]

- NAZARIO: ACF NOMINEE
- FIVE MORE CONFERENCE VOLUNTEERS SPOTS
- EXHIBIT SPACES AVAILABLE
- SYBLE SOLOMON KEYNOTER IN PRAGUE
- MORE USES OF TECHNOLOGY: TEEN SEX EDUCATION
- WHAT COUPLES NEED TO CONSIDER
- WHAT IS NO-FAULT DIVORCE?

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- NAZARIO: ACF NOMINEE

President Obama today announced his intent to nominate Carmen Nazario as
Assistant Secretary for the Administration for Children and Families at the
U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.  This is the position held by
Wade Horn in the Bush administration.  A women -- and I can't help but
notice, an MSW. :)  - diane

Carmen Nazario¹s Bio:
Carmen Nazario is an Assistant Professor at the Inter American University of
Puerto Rico, where she teaches social policy and coordinates the Social Work
Practicum at the School of Social Work.  Nazario has vast experience in
public service with a focus on improving services to children and families
within the United States and around the world, dating back to 1968.  From
January 2003 ­ December 2008, she served as Administrator of the
Administration for Children and Families for the Commonwealth of Puerto
Rico, where she led an agency of 4,000 staff with a budget of over $220
million.  Prior to that, she served as the Senior Resident Investigator for
the Jordan Poverty Alleviation Program, where she developed and implemented
a national poverty reduction strategy for the Hashemite Kingdom of Jordan
and advised leaders in the nation on the delivery of social services.
During the Clinton Administration, she first served as Associate
Commissioner for Child Care in the Administration on Children, Youth and
Families and later became the Principal Deputy Assistant Secretary at the
Administration for Children and Families (ACF).  Nazario joined the Clinton
Administration after serving as Secretary of Health and Social Services for
the State of Delaware from 1993-1997, and, prior to that, she was the
Director of Social Services in Norfolk, Virginia, and Loudon County,
Virginia.  Nazario has held a number of national leadership roles, including
Vice President of the Board of Directors of the American Public Welfare
Association, President of the National Council of Local Public Welfare
Administrators, and Secretary of the National Council of State Human Service
Administrators.  Nazario is from Bayamon, Puerto Rico.  She received a
Bachelor of Arts with honors in Sociology from the University of Puerto Rico
in 1967, and was awarded her Master of Social Work degree from Virginia
Commonwealth University School of Social Work in 1973.

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-  FIVE MORE CONFERENCE VOLUNTEER SPOTS FOR ORLANDO

Please alert students - grad or undergrad - to this opportunity:
http://www.smartmarriages.com/volunteers.html

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- EXHIBIT SPACES AVAILABLE

And, it's beautiful space - the best we've ever had.

http://www.smartmarriages.com/exhibitors.html


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- SYBLE SOLOMON KEYNOTER IN PRAGUE

Syble Soloman, recipient of the 2009 Smart Marriages Impact Award for her
Money Habitudes program, will present a keynote at the W.I.N. (Women's
International Networking) Global Leadership Conference in Oct/2009 in
Prague. The conference attracts business women from 40+ countries. Go
Syble!!  In addition to her keynote, visit her exhibit, and attend her Sat
afternoon seminar and learn about this teach-right-out-of-the-box program
that is so needed in these challenging times.

> 812 - Sat July 11
> Money Habitudes: The Last Taboo ­ TOOB
> Syble Solomon, MEd
> Play cards with the Money Habitudes card deck and gain instant, life-changing
> insights into attitudes about money.  Attend alone, with a partner, or kids
> (12 or older).   

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- MORE USES OF TECHNOLOGY: TEEN SEX EDUCATION

When the Cellphone Teaches Sex Education
NY Times
May 3, 2009 

THE special cellphone, set on vibrate, begins to whir. Throughout North
Carolina, anonymous teenagers are texting questions to it about sex.

³If you take a shower before you have sex, are you less likely to get
pregnant?² asks one. . . . Within 24 hours, each will receive a cautious,
nonjudgmental reply, texted directly to their cellphones, from a nameless,
faceless adult at the Adolescent Pregnancy Prevention Campaign of North
Carolina, based in Durham.

There goes the phone again.
-----------------------------
For the full article: http://tinyurl.com/d57zyb

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- WHAT COUPLES NEED TO CONSIDER

Here's a link to a 5 minute TV clip on the PREPARE/ENRICH inventory "What
premarital couples need to be considering before marriage"
  
http://wcco.com/local/marriage.engagement.questions.2.1000864.html
 
Note that you can take the Prepare/Enrich one-day training institute and
leave fully certified to administer the new customized inventory.  This one
is turning out to be very popular, register early.  Works for first
marriages and remarriages. - diane

> 905 One Day - Sunday, July 12
> PREPARE/ENRICH: New Customized Version
> Peter Larson, PhD, Matthew Turvey, PsyD
> Help couples prepare for marriage and enrich their relationships with the new
> customized PREPARE/ENRICH assessments. Qualifies you to administer, interpret
> and give feedback on the couple inventories. Includes all training materials:
> Resource Kit, DVDs, CD Manual, Sample Reports, Couple's Workbook, Resource
> Guide and 1 Free PREPARE/ENRICH Scoring. $50 spouse discount.  Click for more
> information: http://www.smartmarriages.com/olson.html
 
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- WHAT IS NO-FAULT DIVORCE?

> In the United States . . . approximately a
> million divorces are finalized each year, translating into 3,000
> divorces every day.

No-Fault Divorce: America's Divorce Mill
- Judy Parejko

Canticle Magazine, ³The Voice of Women of Grace,²
May / June Issue 2009

What is no-fault divorce?

When you ask most people, they will say it's a mutual-consent process,
or that it preserves privacy, or that it eliminates blame for the
failure of the marriage.

Not many people will answer that it's a lawsuit in which one party is
suing the other party. And even fewer will know that it came from the
Soviet Union.

Like previous divorce actions, no-fault divorce is still a lawsuit,
which means that one party is invoking the state's police powers
against the other party. The main difference now is that the person
filing for divorce no longer has to provide a reason for why they're
doing it. This type of lawsuit is unique; it's the only type of legal
action devoid of any 'claim' (complaint), and if the party being sued
doesn't know the complaint, then there's no possibility of a defense.

As for the communist origins of no-fault divorce, a 1975 law review
article by Donald M. Bolas entitled, ³No Fault Divorce: Born in the
Soviet Union?² explains how, after speaking with Russian lawyers, he
stumbled upon how Soviet divorce law may have influenced our own laws.

Bolas explains that when the Bolsheviks took over in 1917, religious
marriages were no longer recognized by the state. Marriage became a
³state action² and divorce became merely an administrative process
known as Russian Post Card Divorce. One spouse simply filled out the
paperwork at city hall and the other party was then notified by mail
that they were no longer married. Some people married twenty times.
There was also a Œfree love¹ bureau where people could sign up for
partners.

The fact that this type of law increases the divorce rate is proven
every day in the United States. Since the onset of no-fault divorce,
the divorce rate doubled with one divorce granted for every two
marriages that take place. In terms of sheer numbers, approximately a
million divorces are finalized each year, translating into 3,000
divorces every day.

How coincidental that the U.S. divorce rate is among the highest in
the world, vying only with Russia!

Another interesting fact about no-fault divorce is how strikingly
similar its underlying thinking is to abortion law. In fact, laws
dealing with both subjects were being drafted at the same meeting.
This is how it all began.

History

In 1970, a national group of lawyers gathered for their annual meeting
at the Colony Motor Hotel in Clayton, Missouri, just outside of St.
Louis. At this meeting, two new Œmodel¹ laws were being drafted and
debated. These laws would serve as Œblueprints¹ for state legislators
around the country to enact as state laws. The purpose was to create
more uniformity in state laws. One of these laws was called the
Uniform Marriage and Divorce Act (UMDA) and the other was the Uniform
Abortion Act (then, in 1973, Roe v. Wade overturned all state abortion
laws).

A common theme found in both of these debates was the word viability
and this word would be operative in rationalizing both of these laws.

In the case of abortion, the discussion revolved around the viability
of the human life, meaning its potential for survival outside the
mother. The divorce debate was similar: a marriage could be terminated
³on the basis that it no longer is a viable institution,² according to
the transcripts that have been preserved from these debates.

Using viability as the operative term would soften the discussion on
divorce, or abortion, making these new laws more palatable to the
public. This way of thinking would also help cover up the truth so we
wouldn't have to Œlook¹ at the reality: that both are really
destructive acts. One act destroys the product of the one-flesh union
while the purpose of the other act is to destroy the one-flesh union
itself.

During a pregnancy, we now are able to Œsee¹ the reality of life due
to technical advances. However, in the case of marriage, there isn¹t
any test. One person's word suffices. Judges and lawyers don't check
for vital signs in the marriages, which assumes they are all dead on
arrival.

The label given to this new type of divorce is something of a
misnomer. The term Œno-fault¹ came into the vernacular with the
introduction of Œno-fault¹ car insurance. The rationale behind no-
fault car insurance was to move cases more quickly into Œsettlements.¹

The same is true for no-fault divorce because now the emphasis is on
moving cases into mediation where settlements are supposed to be
reached, conveniently skipping the step of determining viability. Once
a petition for divorce is filed, the marriage is essentially doomed,
since no one checks for any pulse.

The term ³no-fault² has served masterfully to cover up something that
is far more sinister. The idea that the State is forcing people out of
their marriages is hard to fathom but because every divorce petition
is granted, and none are ever denied, then there are certainly a few
viable marriages that meet an untimely death.

Conciliation / Reconciliation

Before the onset of no-fault divorce there was a burgeoning activity
around the country called the Conciliation Court Movement with the
focus on marital reconciliation. This movement began in 1939 when
California enacted its Children¹s Court of Conciliation Law in order to:

³ ... protect the rights of children and to promote the public welfare
by preserving and promoting family life and the institution of
matrimony, and to provide means for the reconciliation of spouses and
the amicable settlement of domestic and family controversies.²

By 1970, Conciliation Courts were operating in Alaska, Arizona,
Hawaii, Illinois, Michigan, Missouri, Montana, Nebraska, Montana,
North Dakota, Ohio, Oregon and Wisconsin, using a growing body of
knowledge and techniques to help restore family life. But now, such
lofty goals cannot be found anywhere in our statutes.

When no-fault divorce entered the picture, the emphasis in
conciliation courts soon changed to Œdivorce with dignity.¹
Settlement negotiations took place under the auspices of a mediator
who assisted the courts in keeping the conveyor belt moving.

Is there another possibility? Can distressed spouses find Œrelief¹ for
their anguish? Could we create Marriage Support facilities that
operate in the same way as the Pregnancy Support facilities that offer
another answer than abortion? Marriage Support facilities could do the
same thing by offering couples the help they need to stay together.

In many ways, the Church might be the perfect home for these
facilities. Tribunal offices could incorporate the Conciliation Court
model, summoning couples from the civil courts. At this time, spouses
are typically directed to Catholic Charities, but this is not enough
because the problem requires a blending of both legal and pastoral
initiatives.

Also needed are skillful practitioners who are trained in multiple
fields. Working with a dyadic relationship is much harder than working
with one person individually. Not many practitioners can handle such a
challenge without bringing their own biases into the work.

By all appearances we are a nation that wants to defend traditional
marriage, as evidenced by the number of state constitutional
amendments that have passed. The next step is to protect marriages
from being destroyed in this country's no-fault divorce mills.
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Judy Parejko first learned about no-fault divorce while working as a
family court mediator. She has spent ten years researching the origin,
intent and implementation of this law and is the author of Stolen
Vows: The Illusion of No-Fault Divorce and the Rise of the American
Divorce Industry.

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