The Zooming Future/ Twilight Tee Time/ Sleepy Baby/ For Daddy/ DV/Trend? -3/24/09

[Smartmarriages]

- LOOKING INTO THE FUTURE
- TWILIGHT TIME 
- SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE -- GET YOUR CHILD TO SLEEP!
- FOR DADDY 
- ROCK/PAPER/SCISSORS - MARRIAGE VERSION
- MARRIAGE EDUCATION AND DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
- LETTERMAN MARRIES......

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- LOOKING INTO THE FUTURE

Here's one more good reason to attend the Marriage TECH Boot Camp events in
Orlando!
Sony showed this at their executive conference. We might as well take the
opportunity to listen in.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cL9Wu2kWwSY

In Orlando: 
> 319
> Marriage Tech Boot Camp
> Marc Payan 
> We can't change the world unless we reach it! Learn to use the latest low/no
> cost tools to appeal to 21st century wired couples through Ning, Facebook,
> Blogs, Twitter, Widgets, etc.

> 219
> Increase Your Website Traffic!
> Elizabeth Thomas
> 150,000 people look online for marriage help every month! Learn, in non-techie
> language and affordable (free!) strategies, what it takes to get your website
> ranked high ­ and reach them.

> Marriage Tech Bootcamp - host: Marc Payan - Thurs 5:15pm
> Swap internet know-how and technology for how to most effectively and
> affordable get
> marriage education out there.

> Plenary: Sat July 11, 7:30pm
> Saturday Night - Marriage Rally Teach In!
> Transforming Communities with Grassroots & Internet Marketing
> Julie Baumgardner, MS, CFLE,
> Nisa Muhammad,
> Marc Payan


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- TWILIGHT TIME 

I'm just back from the pre-conference meeting in Orlando. Thanks to all who
attended.  

I had forgotten how beautiful the hotel is. Or, I was just more relaxed this
trip and could enjoy it better. (It's hard to take in the beauty when I'm in
contract negotiation mode.)  As Richard Albertson said, *This is by far the
nicest hotel we've ever had!*  Plan to dress casual!  Palms, pools, spa, hot
tubs - eating on the breezeway.....tennis, volleyball, and golf.....just
bring a sweatshirt for the air conditioned meeting rooms.

GREAT news: during our stay there is a $44 Twilight Time golf fee for GUESTS
of the hotel.  That's for 18 holes starting around 2pm.  Before 2pm tee
time, rate is $69 for hotel guests.  I'm told this is an awesome course. -
diane

Make your hotel reservations today: 866-996-6338
http://www.smartmarriages.com/hotel.html

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- SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE -- GET YOUR CHILD TO SLEEP!

Good advice to use with parenting couples. - diane

Save Your Marriage -- Get Your Child to Sleep!
March 21, 2009

Jill Spivack: When we talk about marriage and relationships in my parenting
groups, it's always fascinating to see that the parents whose kids go to
sleep at a reasonable hour ... 7-8 PM ... seem to be happier and more
fulfilled than those whose kids are up til 11:00 PM.

When kids go to sleep too late, parents simply don't have any time to refuel
themselves or their relationships. It seems as though they're parenting 24
hours a day and once the kids are asleep, the parents just conk out
themselves. Too often, parents think they're doing their children a service
by allowing them to do what they want in the bedtime arena. However,
ultimately, if mom and dad fall apart, the children are the ones to
ultimately suffer.

A happy parental marriage is one of the highest indicators of ultimate
happiness in children. Without sleep, parents feel cranky with their
children, with one another and resentful of the parental duties they're
expected to perform day after day. They bicker over the simplest things,
stop feeling connected and very often are too exhausted to have sex.

Bottom line ... sleep deprivation can bring out the worst in everyone in the
family. If the kids go to sleep early, you have time to reconnect with
yourself and your spouse which ultimately creates balance and harmony for
everyone.

###############################
-  FOR DADDY 

Here's another one to use with couples with young kids - our most important
target.  BTW, I'm sharing these because according to early registrations,
two categories of workshops are so far the most popular this year - those
that offer parenting programs and those that offer exercises to use in
marriage education classes. - diane
----------------------
Copy this note, ask your child the questions and write down exactly how they
respond.  Then share it with Daddy - or save it for a Father's Day card.  I
found this interview with *Jacob for Daddy* on a Blog. - d

1. What is something dad always says to you?
"Don't look at me when I am in the restroom."

2. What makes daddy happy?
"Kissing me."

3. What makes daddy sad?
"Not Kissing me."

4. How does your dad make you laugh?
"When something he tickles met."

5. What was your dad like as a child?
"Nice."

6. How old is your dad?
"45"

7. How tall is your dad?
"100 inches and 10 feet"

8. What is his favorite thing to do?
"love me"

9. What does your dad do when your not around?
"work"

10. If your dad becomes famous,what will it be for?
"Going tot he restroom in private"

11. What is your dad really good at?
"Loving me"

12. What is your dad not very good at?
"Not loving me"

13. What does your dad do for his job?
"He's a Librarian"

14. What is your dad's favorite food?
"salad"

15. What makes you proud of your dad?
"when he smiles"

16. If your dad were a cartoon character, who would he be?
"Shaggy"

17. What do you and your dad do together?
"Love each other"

18. How are you and your dad the same?
"We both eat a lot nice"

19. How are you and your dad different?
"I sleep in my jammies and he sleeps naked"

20. How do you know your dad loves you?
"You kiss me a lot."

21. Where is your dad's favorite place to go?
"to work" 

##################################
- ROCK/PAPER/SCISSORS - MARRIAGE VERSION
http://skipall.com/31.png

######################################
- MARRIAGE EDUCATION AND DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

Here is a blog post to use with critics who accuse us of pushing *marriage
at any cost*.   - diane

Why Marriage Education is So Important
March 23, 2009

The marriage education workshops provided by the state marriage initiative
did not save my marriage. They saved my life. I got married to my college
sweetheart last March. Things weren¹t perfect in the courtship phase, but it
wasn¹t long into marriage that the abuse began. He started hitting me on the
honeymoon, controlling my food intake, financial flow, even appearance. The
abuse was much more emotional than physical, yet the physical was
progressing rapidly. I was beginning to become more concerned about the
state of the relationship. I had heard of the free relationship workshops
provided by the state, and thought they would provide a good solution.

Marriage counseling was out of the question. Not only would they cost money
(which was being closely and strictly monitored), but they would indicate a
problem with my partner. Injuring his pride would be injuring my person.
These workshops provided a safe, healthy alternative. I wasn¹t looking for
counseling, but solutions for what I saw as problems in the relationship.
Communication was completely shut down, and I was told that it was a fault
of my own. I thought that learning these skills would improve my
relationship and reduce the conflict that had overcome my life.

The things I learned through the program opened my eyes to how truly
damaging this marriage was. The behaviors were progressing at a startling
rate, and I knew that it was only a matter of time until I would be sent to
the hospital from a conflict. Speaking with the coordinators was what truly
saved me. They described every behavior of an emotional and physical abuser,
and each trait was found in my own life at home. During conversations I
realized that the behavior would never change, and would only worsen. The
workshop curriculum and coordinators did not seek to promote marriage at all
costs, including my own personal well-being and safety. They promote
healthy, functional relationships, and seek to not only identify the red
flags, but help you confront them, and either repair what is broken or get
out while you still can. In my case, I realized I had to leave immediately.
I packed my bags, moved in with a coworker, and went to the police. I
pressed charges against my husband and received a protective order.

I truly believe that this curriculum, these workshops, saved my life. Not
only just my physical being, but the sense of self that is lost when under
the dominion of an abuser. They opened my eyes to what I had refused to see
on my own. Through this, I was able to take back the control of my life, and
never feel guilty or ashamed for it. I felt strong, empowered, and blessed
that I could once again live my life to the fullest. I would no longer be
hit, thrown to the ground, berated, belittled, starved into malnourishment.
Since the workshop and leaving I have flourished at my job, gained 15 pounds
to now be at a healthy weight for my height, and begun dating again. This
time, I know I am in a healthy relationship. We will be attending a
TwoGether in Texas workshop. We will be completing the curriculum, and
receiving the skills we need to succeed in this relationship. Never again
will I suffer physically, mentally, or spiritually from the man I choose to
share my life with, and that is all thanks to this program that the State of
Texas has provided. And for that I thank them, and petition them to continue
this funding so that women like me can be saved, and find hope for their own
futures, instead of staring down that dark tunnel of a future of pain.
 http://tinyurl.com/c67fxe

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- LETTERMAN MARRIES......

On ŒLate Show,¹ Letterman Reveals He¹s Married

David Letterman shocked his audience ­ and just about everyone he knows ­ by
announcing on his show Monday night that he had quietly gone to a courthouse
in Montana Thursday afternoon and married his long-time girlfriend. Mr.
Letterman dropped the word after his monologue, and just after he
congratulated the actor Bruce Willis for getting married last week.

Mr. Letterman and Ms. Lasko are parents of a son, Harry, who is now five
years old.  He began dating Ms. Lasko in February 1986 which means they've
been together for 23 years, longer than most marriages.  He had sworn off
marriage after he and his first wife were divorced in 1977.  Making it
legal, he says, makes it easier for estate planning and for their son, who
is getting old enough to realize that Mommy and Daddy aren't married.

Longtime couple Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart also announced their
engagement this week.

Perhaps a trend?  I heard one commentator this morning say Natasha
Richardson's death had this effect.  - d

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13th Annual Smart Marriages® Conference, Shingle Creek Resort,
Orlando, Florida, July 6-12, 2009 (General Conference July 8-11)
Pre-Conference Training Institutes July 6-8
Post-Conference Training Institutes July 12
 
Shingle Creek Resort: http://www.rosenshinglecreek.com/

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