Tweet?? / Laptops? / Adding / Library / Advice/ Secret to Enduring Love / Wisconsin - 6/20/09

[Smartmarriages]

- TWEET/TWITTER......APPARENTLY THERE'S A DIFFERENCE
- GRRRRR: HOW DO I ADD AN INSTITUTE AND STILL GET THE DISCOUNT??
- FIREPROOF: 200 ON LIBRARY WAIT LIST!!
- WHY NO LAPTOPS?
- MARITAL SEX ADVICE
- RELATIONSHIP ENHANCEMENT: SECRET TO ENDURING LOVE
- THIS IS THE KIND OF ARTICLE WE ALL HOPE FOR

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- TWEET/TWITTER......APPARENTLY THERE'S A DIFFERENCE

> Diane,  I just read the email you sent the list and I noticed that you
> referred to twitter as tweet.com instead of twitter.com ... Tweet.com is a
> site about birds. So, you might just get a few emails from some confused
> people on the listserv.
> -Marc Payan 

Thanks to all who alerted me to my mistake – I encouraged you to sign up for
a twitter account, saying how easy it is to register for a twitter account,
then sent you to the wrong url.  It is easy, if you have the right address:
http://twitter.com/   (As I keep saying, if I can do this – anyone can.)

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- GRRRRR: HOW DO I ADD AN INSTITUTE AND STILL GET THE DISCOUNT??

> Dear Diane,
>  
> I am already registered for the conference. Now I want to register for the MML
> pre-conference but when I go online the registration form seems to assume that
> I am registering for the first time (doesn't recognize me as already
> registered)  and there is no way - no place -  where I can register for the
> institute only and still get the discount for already having registered for
> full conference. How do I do it?
> Thanks,
> Rosemary


Rosemary is referring to the *with conference* discount for the Institutes -
a $50 per day discount on the training institutes if you are also attending
the conference.  It is not at all too late to add institutes.

And, she's right about the online form.  Once you register, the only way to
add Institutes, banquets, the fireproof lunch, or to change a session is by
fax, phone, or email.  You can not go online and add to your registration
after the fact.  
 
To add sessions/events:
Call 651-789-3738 (open Mon - Fri)
email: smc at cmehelp.com
Fax: 651-489-3387


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- FIREPROOF: 200 ON LIBRARY WAIT LIST!!

(Sharing this article to inspire you to donate Fireproof and Love Dare to
your local libraries. - diane)

Library accepts donation from the Healthy Marriage Initiative
Members of the Healthy Marriage Initiative Steering Committee donated three
Fireproof DVDs and a Love Dare book to the Fairfield County (Ohio) District
library. The Fireproof movie has been very popular among library patrons
since March, when there were over 200 people on the reservation list.
 
Fireproof, the independent film about a man's fight to save his marriage,
debuted at No. 4 at the box office in September 2008. The movie starred
actor Kirk Cameron.

"All throughout the movie ... there are issues of communication, money, sex,
addiction, porn, extramarital affairs, feeling respected at work but not at
home, feeling respected by friends but not at home," Cameron told CNN. The
themes resonated with the actor, a husband of 17 years and father of six, he
said. That and the "cool action scenes," he added.

According to an article on cnn.com, the companion journal to the movie, "The
Love Dare," has sold more than 2 million copies.

Healthy Marriage Initiative director, Gary Lankford, said that the theme of
the Fireproof movie and the daily marriage improvements suggested in the
Love Dare book match the overall goal of the Healthy Marriage Initiative.

 The Healthy Marriage Initiative seeks to prepare, strengthen and restore
marriages in and around Fairfield County. In March, over 90 couples attended
HMI training to become marriage mentors. These mentor couples help engaged
couples preparing for marriage, married couples that desire a healthier
marriage, and married couples in crisis.

Couples use a computer-generated report showing each person’s preferences on
areas ranging from finances to in-laws. Over the course of several meetings,
couples learn more about themselves and each other. Through “homework”
assignments, couples learn to build stronger relationships.

The Healthy Marriage Initiative is working with churches and community
agencies to build a better Fairfield County. Research shows that compared to
singles and divorced people, married couples are generally more satisfied
with life, do better financially, and experience better health and a better
sex life. Children living with married parents are statistically more likely
to do better in school and are less likely to be involved in “at-risk”
behaviors such as drug and alcohol use or pre-marital sex.

Couples who desire a healthier relationship are encouraged to contact the
Healthy Marriage Initiative. HMI is a non-profit supported by the
contributions and support of individuals, churches, businesses, community
groups, and county agencies. This allows HMI to provide services for free,
with the exception of materials costs.

For more information, call 740/654-3866, ext. 243 or see
http://www.fairfieldcountymarriage.org/

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- WHY NO LAPTOPS?

> In this age of technology, and "getting with the program"  . . . we are
> not allowed to bring laptops to the workshops and training sessions at
> the Smartmarriage conference as a way to take notes?
> Dan A
> Associate Pastor of Congregational Care

People sitting right next to those taking laptop notes are massively
distracted by the noise of the constant typing and they complain so bitterly
- they've even organize, come to complain as a group - that we've made this
a rule.  Most presenters provide such excellent handouts that you don't need
to worry about taking notes - maybe jot some ideas down on the handouts.

This same *distraction factor* is why babies and children are not allowed in
sessions.  Attendees are nice to the parents to their faces and coo over the
babies and kids, then come find me to complain - very unhappy about the
distraction.  They pay travel and registration and are assertive about being
able to get all that they can from the conference experience - without
distractions.    - diane

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- MARITAL SEX ADVICE

Diane, 

We are so excited.  We're featured in the July 13, 2009 issue of the
First–for Women magazine, on newstands next week.  I was interviewed about
how I was able to overcome my sexual inhibitions - which I did AFTER I had 6
kids.  Many women could benefit from reading it.  I spilled my guts!  They
even took pictures to prove that I am a real person. ;)

Heidie
SimpleSweetMarriage

Heidie's company listed on the Smart Marriages Resources directory sells
*spicy intimate products in a tasteful environment*
http://www.smartmarriages.com/directory/260

The First–for Women article also features Laura Brotherson who has three
listings on the Smart Marriages Directory - best to start with her Blog:
http://www.smartmarriages.com/directory/196

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- RELATIONSHIP ENHANCEMENT: SECRET TO ENDURING LOVE

This two-part article "The Secret to Enduring Love: Love Alone is Not
Enough" by Rob Scuka that provides an excellent preview to his Smart
Marriages workshop:  go to  http://www.familyministries.org , then click on
the eNewsletter link.

> 404 - Fri July 10, Orlando
> Relationship Enhancement (RE)
> Rob Scuka, PhD
> Teach couples how to access deep empathy to build connection, intimacy,
> openness, trust, and love while creating mutually-satisfying solutions to
> their most challenging issues.

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- THIS IS THE KIND OF ARTICLE WE ALL HOPE FOR

Susan Dutton Freund, interviewed here about the mission of Foundation for a
Great Marriage will be exhibiting in Orlando and, I'm sure, sharing what
works in the morning Family Ministry and Community Marriage Policy
Roundtables and other Networking events.  Tap in and figure out how you can
get this kind of invaluable press - half the battle is educating the – wary
– public.  - diane 


Marriage group seeks to make counseling pacts for churches
By Annysa Johnson of the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel
June 19, 2009

A Wisconsin nonprofit aimed at bolstering the institution of marriage is
working with local pastors to establish the first so-called community
marriage agreements in Milwaukee and Waukesha.

Under the pacts, participating congregations agree to impose waiting periods
for couples, administer assessments to gauge relationships' strengths and
conflict potential, and offer training and enrichment programs before and
after marriage.

Supporters say such agreements benefit those religious communities and
society as a whole.

"Our mission is to uphold the value of marriage and teach people the skills
to form lifelong, healthy relationships," said Susan Dutton Freund,
executive director of Green Bay-based Foundation for a Great Marriage, which
will host an informational program for clergy July 1.

Nine Christian churches have already signed on for a northwest-side
Milwaukee initiative; the Waukesha effort is not as far along.

Many congregations already offer marriage readiness programs and don't see
the need to join.

Other pastors are wary of the initiative, saying many healthy-marriage
initiatives push a political agenda that discriminates against same-sex
couples and diminishes and disrespects those who cannot or choose not to be
married.

"Society obviously benefits from healthy relationships. But healthy
relationships are not limited to marriage," said the Rev. Craig
Schwalenberg, assistant minister at First Unitarian Society of Milwaukee,
which recognizes civil unions by same-sex partners.

"Attaching a stigma to those who choose not to marry or to divorce for good
reason is not something I'd be interested in promoting," he said.

Freund said her organization has taken no stand on same-sex marriage, which
is not legally recognized in Wisconsin.

Though a partner in the community marriage initiative, Wisconsin Family
Council, supports efforts to define marriage as being "between one man and
one woman," Freund said her foundation doesn't discriminate in programming
against congregations that sanction civil unions.

"That's not our agenda. This is about strengthening marriages," said Freund.
"Who you decide to marry and who you choose to work with, that's your own
choice."

Congregations in a number of Wisconsin communities, including Burlington,
Fond du Lac, Madison and Sheboygan, have adopted some variation of the
marriage agreement, according to Freund. They're part of a healthy marriages
movement, popularized nationally by such organizations as Marriage Savers
and Smart Marriages Inc.

Marriage has waned as the primary social institution of family life in
America, according to researchers at the nonpartisan National Marriage
Project at Rutgers University.

While the divorce rate has declined since 1980, fewer adults are married,
and more children are living in single-parent households, in step-families
or with cohabitating adults - trends the project says exact a toll on
individuals and society.

Studies by the project have linked marriage to adult happiness, longevity,
workplace productivity, financial stability, and more positive outcomes for
their children compared with those raised in non-traditional homes, said
co-director David Popenoe.

"All kinds of things: teen delinquency, teen pregnancy, success in
school . . . ," can be tied to parents' marital status, he said. "That's one
of the reasons the government is helping people keep marriages going,
especially in the low income community, because there's a large social
cost."

The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services' Administration for
Children and Families spends at least $100 million annually on healthy
marriage initiatives. And a number of nonprofit organizations, including
Freund's, have tapped it to fund their programs.

Critics, including the Brooklyn-based Alternatives to Marriage Project, take
issue with those findings, saying studies show marital correlations to
poverty, well-being and childhood outcomes, not causes. They oppose
diverting federal dollars from anti-poverty programs for those who are not
poor, and worry such programs keep partners in unhealthy marriages.

Freund, whose organization receives the majority of its $1.4 million from
federal dollars, said the community marriage agreement initiative is being
funded through private donations and not government funds.

And, she said, the objective isn't marriage at all costs.

"There are some cases in which the best thing for everybody is a divorce, or
a marriage not to occur," said Freund, citing relationships in which abuse,
addiction, adultery and mental health concerns are present.

"Those aren't marriage or relationship issues, they're individual issues.
And it's going to be difficult for someone with those issues to be in a
healthy relationship."

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13th Annual Smart Marriages® Conference, The Shingle Creek,
Orlando, Florida, July 6-12, 2009 (General Conference July 8-11)
Pre-Conference Training Institutes July 6-8
Post-Conference Training Institutes July 12
 
Shingle Creek: http://www.rosenshinglecreek.com/

To download a Conference brochure, register online, or for Exhibit
information:
http://www.smartmarriages.com/conferencedetails.html

List your program and resources on the Directory of Classes at
http://www.smartmarriages.com/directory_browse.html

Order conference audio & video CD/DVD/MP3s: 800-241-7785 or
http://www.iPlaybackSmartMarriages.com

Coalition for Marriage, Family and Couples Education, LLC (CMFCE)
Diane Sollee, Director
5310 Belt Rd NW, Washington, DC 20015-1961
http://www.smartmarriages.com
202-362-3332

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