Father's Day ....a week to get ready - 6/15/09

Smartmarriages smartmarriages at lists101.his.com
Mon Jun 15 10:59:19 EDT 2009


Make your own card.  Delight him with one of these.  I think my favorite is
the one by Homer Simpson.  - diane

It is much easier to become a father than to be one. -  Kent Nerburn

What makes you a man is not the ability to have a child - it's the courage
to raise one. . . . Of all the rocks upon which we build our lives, we are
reminded today that family is the most important. And we are called to
recognize and honor how critical every father is to that foundation.
President Barack Obama

I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich. - M*A*S*H,
Colonel Potter

I talk and talk and talk, and I haven't taught people in 50 years what my
father taught by example in one week. -- Mario Cuomo

I watched a small man with thick calluses on both hands work fifteen and
sixteen hours a day. I saw him once literally bleed from the bottoms of his
feet, a man who came here uneducated, alone, unable to speak the language,
who taught me all I needed to know about faith and hard work by the simple
eloquence of his example. -- Mario Cuomo

A father is a guy who has snapshots in his wallet where his money used to
be. - Unknown

A man's children and his garden both reflect the amount of weeding done
during the growing season. - Anonymous

. . . in the end, there is nothing a man can do that a woman can't, except
be a father.
Frank Pittman

I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father's
protection. - Sigmond Freud

A king, realizing his incompetence, can either delegate or abdicate his
duties. A father can do neither. If only sons could see the paradox, they
would understand the dilemma. - Marlene Dietrich

If the past cannot teach the present and the father cannot teach the son,
then history need not have bothered to go on, and the world has wasted a
great deal of time. - Russell Hoban

My father died many years ago, and yet when something special happens to me,
I talk to him secretly not really knowing whether he hears, but it makes me
feel better to half believe it.-- Natasha Josefowitz

A man knows when he is growing old because he begins to look like his
father.  - Gabriel García Márquez

Are we not like two volumes of one book? - Marceline Desbordes-Valmore

Small boy's definition of Father's Day: It's just like Mother's Day only you
don't spend so much. -- Unknown

It is instructive that 87 percent of those incarcerated in American prisons
either don't know who their father is or have not had any contact with their
fathers in years.  - Herbert London, Hudson Institute

 "I won't lie to you, fatherhood isn't easy like motherhood." – Homer

You don't get hugged by the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. . .  I want what
everybody else wants: to love and to be loved, and to have a family.
Billy Joe
A woman in my online group was being very negative about her husband and the
group leader told her to try to think of some positives, even if it were
difficult. This is what she came up with. I thought it was touching. I
just wanted you to see it.
- - - - - - - - -
H was very helpful in the kitchen. He usually got home from work around 3
PM, and he usually made dinner for the family. I don't get home until around
5 PM. He did all the yard work, took care of all car maintenance, always
called me if he was going to be late, instilled complete trust, did the
lion's share of bill paying because I hate to write due to carpal tunnel
syndrome, balanced the checkbook, fixed the toilet when it would break
(regularly), painted the outside of the house.

He usually remembered to put the toilet seat and lid down. He vacuumed
occasionally. He spent lots of time with the kids. He bought advent
calendars with chocolate behind each day for the kids every Christmas
season. He laughed and joked a lot, and didn't like to be serious. He told
me when I looked good. He learned to enjoy horses because our girls and I
loved to ride.

He was willing to try new dishes I prepared. He loved my lasagna. He went to
church with the family every Sunday, even though he had trouble staying
awake during preaching. Although he doesn't like classical music, he went to
almost every concert our daughters played in when they were in youth
symphony (4 years for one and 6 years for the other).

He held my hand through 3 labors and deliveries, and whispered in my ear to
encourage me. He lovingly dressed an open wound for me after surgery for a
breast abscess after the birth of our 3rd. Four years later, he stood beside
my bed as I was being wheeled to surgery to remove a breast due to cancer,
and tears filled his eyes as they did mine. That was in 1989.

He walked the floor for hours at night with a sleepless, cranky child. He
spooned cereal and baby food into little mouths, and endured spit-up and
baby poop on his clothing. He helped me take care of my mother as she was
dying of cancer.
Is this what you mean, JJ? It was difficult to get started, but look what I
accomplished! I also have a huge lump in my throat and tears in my eyes
right now. He was a fantastic husband! My sister told me he "adored" me, and
I guess that's correct for a lot of the 26 years we have been married.
The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their
Theodore Hesburgh
A Banker's Wisdom for Father's Day:
And, just in case you're thinking about maybe throwing in the towel, maybe
the kids would be better off without all the conflict and tension:

When you read his book or his 2008 Father's Day speech, it feels like Obama
is a member of our Coalition - makes it hard to imagine him allowing the
Marriage Education money to be cut. Obama's memoir, "Dreams From My Father,"
conveys the economic, emotional and existential toll of growing up
fatherless, and he has spoken movingly of his determination to ensure for
his own children a different life.  Excerpts from his Father's Day speech

. . . .Of all the rocks upon which we build our lives, we are reminded today
that family is the most important. And we are called to recognize and honor
how critical every father is to that foundation. They are teachers and
coaches. They are mentors and role models. They are examples of success and
the men who constantly push us toward it.

But if we are honest with ourselves, we'll admit that what too many fathers
also are is missing - missing from too many lives and too many homes. They
have abandoned their responsibilities, acting like boys instead of men. And
the foundations of our families are weaker because of it.

. .. . We know the statistics - that children who grow up without a father
are five times more likely to live in poverty and commit crime; nine times
more likely to drop out of schools and twenty times more likely to end up in
prison. They are more likely to have behavioral problems, or run away from
home, or become teenage parents themselves. And the foundations of our
community are weaker because of it.

. . . . . Yes, we need more cops on the street. Yes, we need fewer guns in
the hands of people who shouldn¹t have them. Yes, we need more money for our
schools, and more outstanding teachers in the classroom, and more
afterschool programs for our children. Yes, we need more jobs and more job
training and more opportunity in our communities.

    But we also need families to raise our children. We need fathers to
realize that responsibility does not end at conception. We need them to
realize that what makes you a man is not the ability to have a child - it's
the courage to raise one.


Poem: "Those Winter Sundays," by Robert Hayden, from Angel of Ascent

Sundays too 
my father got up early
and put his clothes on in the blueblack cold,
then with cracked hands that ached
from labor in the weekday weather made
banked fires blaze. No one ever thanked him.

I'd wake and hear the
cold splintering, breaking.
When the rooms were warm, he'd call,
and slowly I would rise and dress,
fearing the chronic angers of that house,

Speaking indifferently
to him,
who had driven out the cold
and polished my good shoes as well.
What did I know, what did I know
of love's austere and lonely offices?


Wonderful for the Busy Dad :
Give him quick summaries of fatherhood books at www.familyintel.com.  The
gift that keeps on giving.  He registers (it's free) and then, busy parent
that he is, can read summaries of the best fatherhood and marriage books.

Summaries of books like: Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters: 10 Secrets Every
Father Should Know; MySpace, MyKids: A Parent's Guide to Protecting Your
Kids & Navigating MySpace.com


Repeating this one in case you need a last-minute Father's Day idea:

> Here's another one to use with couples with young kids - our most important
> target.  BTW, I'm sharing these because according to early registrations,
> two categories of workshops are so far the most popular this year - those
> that offer parenting programs and those that offer exercises to use in
> marriage education classes. - diane
> ----------------------
> Copy this note, ask your child the questions and write down exactly how they
> respond.  Then share it with Daddy - or save it for a Father's Day card.  I
> found this interview with *Jacob for Daddy* on a Blog. It would also make a
> wonderful Father's Day video. - d
> 1. What is something dad always says to you?
> "Don't look at me when I am in the restroom."
> 2. What makes daddy happy?
> "Kissing me."
> 3. What makes daddy sad?
> "Not Kissing me."
> 4. How does your dad make you laugh?
> "When something he tickles met."
> 5. What was your dad like as a child?
> "Nice."
> 6. How old is your dad?
> "45"
> 7. How tall is your dad?
> "100 inches and 10 feet"
> 8. What is his favorite thing to do?
> "love me"
> 9. What does your dad do when your not around?
> "work"
> 10. If your dad becomes famous,what will it be for?
> "Going tot he restroom in private"
> 11. What is your dad really good at?
> "Loving me"
> 12. What is your dad not very good at?
> "Not loving me"
> 13. What does your dad do for his job?
> "He's a Librarian"
> 14. What is your dad's favorite food?
> "salad"
> 15. What makes you proud of your dad?
> "when he smiles"
> 16. If your dad were a cartoon character, who would he be?
> "Shaggy"
> 17. What do you and your dad do together?
> "Love each other"
> 18. How are you and your dad the same?
> "We both eat a lot nice"
> 19. How are you and your dad different?
> "I sleep in my jammies and he sleeps naked"
> 20. How do you know your dad loves you?
> "You kiss me a lot."
> 21. Where is your dad's favorite place to go?
> "to work" 



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