Marriage Savers/ Fireproof & Obama Effects / Prostate / CASP/ Glass Slipper - 2/16/09

[Smartmarriages]

- MARRIAGE SAVERS UPDATE: DETROIT AND FLORIDA
- FIREPROOF SEEMS TO BE WORKING
- THE OBAMA MARRIAGE EFFECT
- SPEAKING OF MODEL MARRIAGES: LOVE AND PROSTATE CANCER
- COUPLEHOOD AS A SPIRITUAL PATH NOW IN ALL FAITH VERSIONS
- CATHOLIC BISHOPS SELECT AFTER THE GLASS SLIPPER

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- MARRIAGE SAVERS UPDATE: DETROIT AND FLORIDA

Dear Diane,

Thanks for the gracious tribute to our CMP in Ashland. Sadly, I am writing
from home, not Nebraska, because a big snowstorm forced a postponement
into March.  However, the TV story on this station and another has doubled
the expected participation.

Two important additional pieces of news.

1.  Marriage Savers is taking the initiative to organize America's major
metro areas, starting with Detroit, where the jobless rate was a stunning
10.6% in December. I will be speaking to clergy and civic leaders March 5-6
in the city and in two suburban counties, separately, in an effort to sell
the CMP idea to 3,500 churches in that area. We will probably have three
CMPs in metro Detroit.  We hope to use this model to reach metro Milwaukee,
Philadelphia and Washington.  If our approach can work in Detroit, it can
work in Phily, etc.

2. Marriage Savers will also be part of the new Strong Marriages Florida
campaign led by John Stemberger.  John announced that he plans to create
Marriage Saver Community Marriage Policies in the 12 biggest metro areas of
Florida. We will provide a briefing on our Big Cities Strategy at Smart
Marriages in our first Roundtable Thursday morning at 7:30am.

Mike McManus
Marriage Savers
http://www.marriagesavers.org
301 469-5873

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- FIREPROOF SEEMS TO BE WORKING

I want to share two email I received this morning - maybe will light a fire
under others about 1) how easy the Fireproof Kit makes this and 2) how much
couples appreciate it.  - diane

> Diane, I just want to let you know how wonderful we're finding the Fireproof
> tools. Kathy and I are going to be very busy between now and October teaching
> "Fireproof" and "10 Great Dates" at our church. We are screening the movie at
> least once a weekend, leading the 6-week Fireproof study group, and also
> leading the 10 GD program. Getting great results.  - Fred & Kathy Jakolat,
> Reno

> Diane, I think it will make you happy to hear how we spent Valentine's Day. My
> husband and I went to a free dinner and movie at the Church ­ we saw
> Fireproof. We had prime rib, free child care, the movie and received a free
> love dare book! It's amazing they can do that for free! We really enjoyed it
> AND got a lot out of it. We went from having a very tense week to really
> enjoying each other. Funny how the little reminders help, in marriage. - Jenn,
> Florida 


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- THE OBAMA MARRIAGE EFFECT

Here are just two of dozens of articles you've sent on the Obama Marriage
effect. It appears journalists across the country decided this was this
year's Valentine story.  Let's hope they're right about the potential power
of this example. In any case, let's be sure we keep on rowing.    - diane

ESSAY
OUR MODEL MARRIAGE 
The Obamas have the kind of relationship millennials aspire to.
By Andrew Romano | NEWSWEEK
Feb 14, 2009 
http://www.newsweek.com/id/184773
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- OBAMA MARRIAGE INSPIRES FASCINATION, IMITATION
By JOCELYN NOVECK 
AP
Feb 13, 2009 

NEW YORK (AP) ‹ She's a busy mother of two and a full-time executive at a
film distribution company, but sometimes Susan Margolin can't help it: She
Googles Barack and Michelle Obama, not to check on his latest policy
initiatives, but to see what they're doing as a couple.

"They went to the Kennedy Center with the girls the other night," she
reported recently. "Isn't that cool? And I love how they always make time
for date night. They seem to have a real romance going."

Just in time for Valentine's Day, it's the season of the PDA in the White
House ‹ and we're not talking about President Obama's prized BlackBerry. The
first couple's constant Public Displays of Affection have many people across
the country fascinated, charmed and even a little jealous of this
21st-century White House marriage.

To be sure, the Obamas aren't the first openly romantic couple in the White
House. Ronald and Nancy Reagan, in particular, had a famous love story.

For full article:
http://tinyurl.com/clp66e

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- SPEAKING OF MODEL MARRIAGES: LOVE AND PROSTATE CANCER

The New York Times
February 9, 2009


Love in the Time of Prostate Cancer
Times editor Dana Jennings writes each week about his experiences coping
with an aggressive form of prostate cancer.

By Dana Jennings

I vividly recall those first few hours in the hospital room after my
prostate cancer surgery last July: the plastic thicket of I.V. tubes; the
leg cuffs huffing and chuffing to ward off blood clots; my throbbing
incision packed with gauze. But, most important, I remember peering through
the post-surgical haze to see my wife, Deb, sitting there, smiling at me.

These days, I epitomize the ³in sickness² part of the wedding vows that Deb
and I took back in 1981. Since we learned last April that I have prostate
cancer, I¹ve had my prostate removed, found out that the cancer was
shockingly aggressive, undergone a 33-session course of radiation and am
finishing up hormone therapy.

Right now, I¹m not quite what you¹d call ³a catch.² I wear man-pads for
intermittent incontinence, I¹m a bazaar of scars, and haven¹t had a full
erection in seven months. Most nights, I¹m in bed by 10. The Lupron hormone
shots, which suppress the testosterone that can fuel prostate cancer, have
sent my sex drive lower than the stock market, shrunken my testicles, and
given me hot flashes so fierce that I sweat outdoors when it¹s 20 degrees
and snowing.

Even so, Deb has taught me that love is in the details. Humid professions of
undying love and tear-stained sonnets are all well and good, but they can¹t
compete with the earthy love of Deb helping me change and drain my catheter
pouches each day when I first came home from the hospital.

Yes, in the details. She measured my urine, peered into places I couldn¹t
(literally and figuratively), and strategically and liberally applied baby
powder, ice and Aquaphor to my raw and aching body. She battled our
intractable insurer, networked, tracked down the right doctors ‹ and took
thorough notes all the while.

I was wounded. She protected me. She chose to do these things.

Deb and I have been married for 27 years, have two sons (22 and 19), and
have ridden the usual Ferris wheel that comes with a long marriage. But our
love for each other has deepened in this time of prostate cancer.

We talk more often about the life we¹ve built together, about sex and money,
about the joy we take in our sons, about the uncertain future. When cancer
moves in, there¹s nothing you and your spouse can¹t talk about.

Our love has been seasoned with a bitter pinch of mortality, and the classic
quarrels of marriage hold little power over us anymore. When I say to Deb,
³I love you,² I mean it. And when she responds, ³I love you more,² she means
it, too. We understand that time, perhaps, is not on our side.

Time, we are told, will give us our sex life back. As I said, the hormone
shots have shut down my sex drive. And my poor penis is still in recovery ‹
from the surgery and the radiation. But as we wait, I¹ll tell you this: Love
abides.

Yes, yes and yes ‹ lust is essential. But right now, sex seems quaint,
old-fashioned. Oddly enough, it can¹t compete with the depth and gravity of
a light touch, a sly glance. I¹m in the mood for the Beatles and ³I Want to
Hold Your Hand,² not Grace Jones growling, ³Pull up to my bumper, baby.²

Don¹t get me wrong. I really, really like sex. But given a choice between
the mere biology of lust and the deep soul of love, I¹ll take love. My body
has changed ‹ but my doctors say my libido will be warming up again before I
know it. Deb understands, and we¹ve adapted.

Deb¹s love is one to live up to, one to reciprocate. Who else is going to
snuggle up to me on the couch, smile, listen ‹ and nod knowingly ‹ as I
complain about my hot flashes?

In the long shadow of prostate cancer, I¹ve learned that I married the right
woman.

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- COUPLEHOOD AS A SPIRITUAL PATH NOW IN ALL FAITH VERSIONS

Couplehood as a Spiritual Path (CASP), Imago's first faith-based DVD
teach-out-of-the-box curriculum is now available in Christian, Interfaith,
and Jewish versions. This facilitator-led program requires no training ­ the
theory and demonstrations are all in the kit.  I encourage you to purchase
it advance and then sharpen and deepen your grasp of the concepts at the
Imago Dialogue Live Fri evening keynote and the full 2-day preconference
Training Institute where you can become a certified CASP IMAGO Leader.

> 111 Two Days - Tuesday & Wednesday, July 7 & 8
> IMAGO: CASP, ImagoConnects, and DialogFirst
> Harville Hendrix, PhD and Helen LaKelly Hunt, PhD
> Learn to coach couples using the transformative power of Imago Dialogue
> as you qualify to teach three programs: Couplehood as a Spiritual Path;
> the 3-hr IMAGOConnects for couples; and the DialogFirst program for coaches.
> Designed for congregations and communities. $100 spouse discount. Click for
> more information: http://www.smartmarriages.com/casp.html

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- CATHOLIC BISHOPS SELECT AFTER THE GLASS SLIPPER

AFTER THE GLASS SLIPPER: 8 Proven Steps to Lasting Love, by Jon & Bev
Meyerson is the Feb book of the month at ForYourMarriage.org, the marriage
website of the US Conference of Catholic Bishops.   Buy it hear and get the
Meyerson's to sign it in Orlando at Smart Marriages.
http://www.smartmarriages.com/app/Media.Booklist

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13th Annual Smart Marriages® Conference, Shingle Creek Resort,
Orlando, Florida, July 6-12, 2009 (General Conference July 8-11)
Pre-Conference Training Institutes July 6-8
Post-Conference Training Institutes July 12
 
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