Brochures/ TV Clip / Op-Ed/ Films / Valentine's Tips - 2/5/09
Smartmarriages
smartmarriages at lists101.his.com
Thu Feb 5 18:30:21 EST 2009
- TAH DAH - TV CLIP ON HEALTHY MARRIAGES IN SACRAMENTO
- TILL CHILDREN DO US PART
- THINGS WE LOST IN THE FIRE & AFTER THE WEDDING
- SECRETS TO LOVE
- SUSTAINING LOVE: VALENTINE TIPS FROM THE JUDGE
- ADVICE FROM THE QUOTES PAGE
###############################
- BROCHURES??
Diane, I'm confused. I searched for Smart Marriages Conference on dogpile
and the Conference brochure popped up. You have not announced it to the
list. Was I not supposed to see this or maybe it's not final? Is it
official? Can I use this to register? It looks great, BTW.
David
Hmmmmm......it is the real thing. The layout artist and I have been using
the scribd website because it makes it so easy to send this huge multi-MB
file back and forth. I didn't want to post it for downloading at Smart
Marriages because we're not yet ready to start receiving registrations, but
guess I might as well do that if it's so easy to find it. The brochures are
at the printer as we speak. Will be in the mail by the 17th. We should be
able to start taking registrations online by fax or by mail by Feb 20th, or
sooner. I'll let the list know when we're ready. However, you can and
should make your hotel reservations NOW.
http://www.smartmarriages.com/hotel.travel.html
IF YOU HAVEN'T SENT your brochure orders, please do. IF YOU HAVE CHANGED
YOUR ADDRESS, please send an update (it's incredibly expensive to mail the
brochures so help me get the addresses corrected!)
If anyone else is curious, you can see the brochure here.
http://www.scribd.com/doc/11614727/SmartMarriages2009Conferencebrochure
Hit download and then you should be able to print it. I'm curious if you
could print it. Even off scribd it's a big file. - diane
##########################
- TAH DAH - TV CLIP ON HEALTHY MARRIAGES IN SACRAMENTO
This one focuses on helping couples in these trying economic times. A great
one. The couple is a wonderful, powerful example of what marriage education
can do! They completed the Flourishing Families program....and my, are they
ever. - diane
http://tinyurl.com/c3zy7b
I've got it linked on the WATCH/LISTEN page - where you can watch other
marriage education clips. http://www.smartmarriages.com/listen.html
########################
- TILL CHILDREN DO US PART
Here's a Stephanie Coontz NY Times Op-Ed piece that agrees with our message
that it's crucial for parents to carve out and prioritize time for their
romantic relationship.
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/02/05/opinion/05coontz.html
##########################
- THINGS WE LOST IN THE FIRE & AFTER THE WEDDING
I want to thank Beatrice for her recommendation that I rent two *marriage
movies*: Things We Lost in The Fire & After The Wedding both directed by
Susanne Bier. I'd love to tell you how the two films treat a particular
marriage theme from two different angles, but don't want to spoil them for
you so will just leave it at a recommendation. - diane
#########################
- SECRETS TO LOVE
Hi Diane,
Just want to let you know that our press release (we used PR Newswire
service) was highly successful - CHMC and Secrets To Love received
widespread media coverage all across the country and all across the
internet. Our next festival is in Tampa Bay, Florida at the Gasperilla
International Film Festival!
Tracie Donahue
Secrets to Love Director
You'll all be able to see the film, Secrets to Love, at the Smart Marriages
Orlando Conference. - diane
The 'Secrets To Love' Documentary is Out, Says the California Healthy
Marriages Coalition
PR NEWSWIRE
Feb 3, 2009
SACRAMENTO, Calif., Feb. 3 /PRNewswire-USNewswire/ -- Everyone wonders how
to find love and once you have found it, how to make love last. The "Secrets
To Love" documentary, featuring Actress, Author and Advocate Robin Givens
and some of the most highly-regarded love experts in the country, divulges
these secrets and a lot more. For just over an hour, the audience hitches a
ride with a recent divorcee on her journey to find answers to love questions
many people ask.
What is the "happily ever after" and does it really exist? Robin Givens
reports, "We all buy into the fairytale of love, but when I see a couple
that is still dancing together after 50 years, I think to myself, that is
the real fairytale." What does it take to have a happy marriage? Film
Director Tracie Donahue says, "Being good friends is important, having
realistic expectations of marriage is key, and learning skills to
communicate through Marriage Education is imperative."
Tracie Donahue and Robin Givens decided to work together on this film after
Donahue read about Givens's marriage in her memoir "Grace Will Lead Me
Home." Donahue says, "Robin's personal story helped me weave a clear picture
for the audience about how relationship patterns work and how to change
them. I feel extremely blessed that Robin has allowed me to share her story
with the world."
The award-winning documentary film is supported by the California Healthy
Marriages Coalition and is being used by healthy marriage initiatives around
the country as an educational tool in their public awareness campaigns about
healthy relationships. Donahue was a housewife that dabbled in film until
she went through a devastating divorce that left her and her three children
destitute. Donahue went back to college, finished her degree in Journalism
and launched her own production company with a burning desire to create a
film that helped answer questions that had blind-sided her marriage. The
resulting film, "Secrets To Love," has now captured the prestigious Indie
Award of Merit at The Indie Distribution Fest, won 2nd Best Documentary at
the Mammoth Film Festival, and took home a Gold Kahuna Award of Excellence
in Filmmaking at the Honolulu International Film Festival. Donahue will be
screening "Secrets To Love" at dozens of festivals around the world in 2009.
www.secretstolove.com
SOURCE California Healthy Marriages Coalition
##########################
- SUSTAINING LOVE: VALENTINE TIPS FROM THE JUDGE
You can always count on this straight-talking judge to tell it like it is
which is one of the reasons he gets such over-the-top evaluations at the
Smart Marriages Conference. Judge Jim Sheridan will again present his
present his Sex & Romance in The Biblical Marriage TOOB program in Orlando
and also his incredible program in Michigan that teaches marriage skills to
prisoners. - diane
Love, Romance and Marriage
By James E. Sheridan
Feb 4, 2009
©2009, All Rights Reserved
Valentines Day is quickly approaching, the day we exchange lots of chocolate
in heart-shaped boxes and cards with red hearts that say ³I love you.²
Although we should express our love to our spouse daily, reserving one day a
year to go overboard is wonderful .
Love is important, even crucial, for a long-lasting marriage. This is not
simply the romantic love seen in Hollywood productions, which results from a
chemical cocktail produced by the body (primarily phenylethylamine, or PEA),
when we first ³fall² for someone. Unfortunately, as Dr. Patricia Love and
Jo Robinson explain in ³Hot Monogamy,² these hormones and the ³love² it
produces fade quickly, typically in three to eighteen months. Sustaining
love comes from a sense of devotion, not hormones.
On Valentines Day think about expressing this deeper, committed love.
Consider the following possibilities.
Tips for Husbands. Women typically enjoy nurturing relationships and
emotional connection. Willard Harley, PhD, lists the first three emotional
needs of wives as affection, the need for conversation, and honesty and
openness. No surprises here. For women affection consists of actions that
mean you¹re thinking of her, value her and care about her, such as hugs,
small gifts and acts of service. Conversation is how people share their
thoughts and the stories of what happened in their world. And, honesty and
openness means there are no barriers between the two of you. Add these all
together and you have emotional connection.
So what to do? Take her out to eat. Give her a Valentines card, chocolates
(a basic food group for many women) and a massage. Spend time with her
listening to her talk about her day and telling her about yours. Help with
the chores.
And! After Valentines day, keep doing all these things.
Tips for Wives. Men typically connect emotionally by way of the physical
and visual. Again, consider Harley¹s top three emotional needs for
husbands: Sexual fulfillment, recreational companionship, and having an
attractive wife. No surprises here, either: All three are elements of
physical connection. Sex, of course, is the ultimate physical connection.
Having someone by your side while you relax, whether hunting, golfing, or
fixing your car, involves physical proximity. Emerson Eggerichs, PhD,
explains that wives may not see it or hear it, but there is important work
of connection going on in his mind by her simply being present. Likewise,
having an attractive wife is important: Visual connection is a form of
physical connection.
Of course ³beauty is in the eye of the beholder.² What looks ³slim² to one
man may look ³scrawny² to another. Moreover, no one should expect you to
stay perpetually young. But, it is important to look the best you can.
Wives sometimes see this need for attractiveness as shallow, and then
complain because their husbands don¹t see the dusting that needs to be done
so the house ³looks good.²
Your husband¹s need for beauty will end ... the moment he dies. Whether
he¹s 23 or 93, do your best to look good. (And, forget Hollywood¹s
definition of beauty; concentrate on your husband¹s definition.) Think how
you looked when you got married, then allow for the normal aging process and
the effects of child bearing and you have the picture.
So what to do? Seduce your husband for some sexual intimacy. Spend time
with him while he¹s relaxing, even if it does not involve conversation; your
presence is what¹s important. And, work at looking good.
And! After Valentines day, keep doing all these things.
The romantic sentiments of Valentines Day are wonderful. But, they¹re even
better, if they¹re carried over for the rest of the year.
###############################
- ADVICE FROM THE QUOTES PAGE
Speaking of advice, I was going over Valentine tips with a reporter today
and he said he especially liked these three that he said were all in a row
on the quotes page.....these all do bear repeating from time to time, so
here they are:
> Keep it Short
> One last point about how talking to your man is different from talking to your
> girlfriend. By and large, a man wants the bottom line. Cut the amount of
> prelude by approximately ninety percent, and you¹ll get it just about right.
> Instead of saying, ³Honey, my mom went in and the doctor diagnosed varicose
> veins. She¹s going to have to get them stripped, which will make it very
> difficult for her to walk for a couple of weeks. As you know, she lives all
> alone now, and the only person who can help her is Mrs. Jenkins, who just
> visits twice a week, on Thursdays and Fridays. Mom¹s going to need more help
> than that.² Trust me, you¹ve probably lost him by that point. Instead, try
> this: ³Honey, my mom is having surgery next week and needs some time to
> recover. Do you mind if she stays with us for a few days?² If he wants more
> information, he¹ll ask for it. Keep it short.
> Kevin Leman, Making Sense of the Men in Your Life
> ****************
> Maybe
> Some of the most important words in marriage are "maybe you are right" and
> "let's try it your way." As a good friend of mine (a bachelor until he was 38)
> said to me after his first year of marriage: "I finally learned that the sun
> will come up tomorrow if we try it her way."
> Jeff Herring
> ****************
> Hold Me
> Some close friends filed for divorce. When we explained the situation to our
> boys, they were confused and declared, ³We don¹t understand. They were so
> happy whenever we were with them.² I asked what they would do if they were
> married and their wife got upset and mad and even treated them mean. Without
> hesitation, my youngest, declared, ³I would hold her.² How could a four year
> old know the security a woman feels when a pair of strong arms gently wrap
> around her!? When I am stressed or worried, my heart immediately softens if my
> husband simply holds me. I asked Philip WHY he would hold her. He explained
> that that¹s what Dad always says in the ceremony. Philip had witnessed several
> of the vow renewal services that conclude our marriage conference weekends. As
> in a wedding ceremony, Sam leads couples to repeat their vows, ³To have and to
> hold from this day forward². Unlike many married couples, Philip took these
> vows literally. Marriage - The Foundation newsletter
> www.thealexanderhouse.org/
####################
Do not hit "reply" to respond to this email. This mailbox is not monitored
and you will not receive a response.
Instead, create a new email and send submissions and comments to moderator,
Diane Sollee: diane at smartmarriages.com (In other words, do NOT simply hit
"reply". If you hit reply your email will disappear into cyberspace.)
This is a moderated list. All submissions are read by Diane Sollee. Please
indicate if your comment is NOT to be shared with the list. PLEASE include
your email address and/or url as part of your signature. With thousands of
subscribers, not all comments can be shared.
Also realize that opinions expressed are not necessarily shared by members
of the Coalition.
To SUBSCRIBE, UNSUBSCRIBE, or Change your subscription address,
visit: http://www.smartmarriages.com/app/Newsletter.Subscribe
To read past posts to the listserv, visit the Archive at:
http://lists101.his.com/pipermail/smartmarriages/
13th Annual Smart Marriages® Conference, Shingle Creek Resort,
Orlando, Florida, July 6-12, 2009 (General Conference July 8-11)
Pre-Conference Training Institutes July 6-8
Post-Conference Training Institutes July 12
Shingle Creek Resort: http://www.rosenshinglecreek.com/
Conference schedule, registration, & exhibit information:
http://www.smartmarriages.com/conferencedetails.html
List your program and resources on the Directory of Classes at
http://www.smartmarriages.com/directory_browse.html
Order conference audio & video CD/DVD/MP3s: 800-241-7785 or
http://www.iPlaybackSmartMarriages.com
Coalition for Marriage, Family and Couples Education, LLC (CMFCE)
Diane Sollee, Director
5310 Belt Rd NW, Washington, DC 20015-1961
http://www.smartmarriages.com
202-362-3332
FAIR USE NOTICE: This e-newsletter/site contains copyrighted material the
use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright
owner. We make such material available in our efforts to advance
understanding of marriage, family, couples, divorce, legislation, family
breakdown, etc. We understand this constitutes a 'fair use' of such material
as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with
Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed
without profit to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the
included information for research and educational purposes. For more
information: http://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/17/107.shtml. If you wish to
use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go
beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.
More information about the SmartMarriages
mailing list