Connecting / Testimonials/ Institute Frustration/Free ONLINE Directory / Dissertation Survey - 12/2/09
Smartmarriages
smartmarriages at lists101.his.com
Wed Dec 2 16:30:21 EST 2009
- SIGNS OF TIMES - CONNECTION FACTOIDS
- MARRIAGE EDUCATION TESTIMONIALS
- INTERESTING CONFERENCE CONUNDRUM & SUGGESTION
- FREE INTRO OFFER: PROCONNECT: ONLINE DIRECTORY
- DISCLAIMER
- INFIDELITY: YOU CAN RECOVER - SEEKING DISSERTATION HELP
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- SIGNS OF TIMES - CONNECTION FACTOIDS
How we connect in 2009:
* 70 percent of couples who both own cell phones contact each other once a
day or more, compared to 54 percent of couples who have only one or no cell
phones
* 42 percent of parents contact their children daily via cell phone
* 30 percent of married people deceptively use online dating sites
Source: Pew Internet & American Life Project
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- MARRIAGE EDUCATION TESTIMONIALS
I like to share these from time-to-time to keep us all rowing.....fuel.
> Dr. Marks....
>
> i just wanted to update you on me and donnie...
> My husband is a changed man... so much so that i reconsidered having another
> child with him... for 7 years i have put off having another baby because who
> wanted a baby with an angry unemotional ambivalent man... I sure did not...
> but he has been so different since the hope weekend that i finally had a
> change of heart... while in the talking stage and me finally coming to the
> realization why i refused the baby and being able to present my worries to him
> in a way that he would accept... we conceived... i am now 37 years old... and
> pregnant with the third child... by the way our youngest is 11 and the oldest
> is 13... they will be 12 and 13 when the new kid arrives.... so far we are
> excited... and he has been so accommodating during the first 10 weeks!!!! so i
> just wanted to say thank you for giving me a different man/husband for my
> family...
> tara t
> (This one sent to me by Rick Marks who says this couple was on the verge of
divorce and attended his marriage education program Hope Weekend.)
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> "I was raised in a home environment where my father never expressed his love
> for us. Growing up as a child and into my teenage years I never heard my
> father tell me or any of my siblings he loved us. When I grew up and married
> and had my family, I did not know how to express my feelings to my wife and
> children. When my wife and I had a discussion and I did not agree I would
> become angry and aggressive I would raise my voice and dominate and control
> and become offensive and hurt my wife. Since I started coming to these MML
> classes I realized how wrong I was and how my upbringing had affected my
> relationship with my wife. And now for the first time in 36 years of marriage
> I asked my wife for forgiveness and apologized for not allowing her to express
> her thoughts and feelings when we have a discussion. After I recognized my
> error for the first time I went out and bought my wife a bouquet of roses got
> on my knees and told her how much I love her and asked her to forgive me for
> all those years of verbal abuse. Thank God for MML and these new skills we
> have learned. Our marriage is being restored and we are experiencing a first
> love experience." Mario M. (This one Latino husband took the Mastering the
Mysteries of Love class with his wife.)
Here's the MML training being offered at Smart Marriages Orlando - leave a
certified, equipped instructor:
> 106 Two Days - Wednesday & Thursday, July 7 & 8
> Mastering the Mysteries of Love & Christian MML
> Mary Ortwein, MS
> Mastering the Mysteries of Love teaches couples of any stage or culture the
> skills to build connection and intimacy while finding solutions to their most
> challenging issues. Add-on seminars. Ideal for low-income, community or
> church based. Christian, Catholic, Spanish, Korean versions available. $100
> spouse discount. Click for more information:
> http://www.smartmarriages.com/mml.html
>
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- INTERESTING CONFERENCE CONUNDRUM & SUGGESTION
> Smart Marriages Planners, We are very excited about the Smart Marriages
> conference but after our planning meeting today I have been designated to
> contact you with a suggestion that you change the format and offer Training
> Institutes the full week. We've all attended many different conferences and
> can tell you that all conferences offer keynotes and brief breakout sessions.
> What is especially exciting about your conference are the training institutes.
> But it's frustrating that we can only take two trainings. As you explained to
> me last week, each individual person can only take one pre conference and one
> post conference training. That is very frustrating. We would like to get
> several people trained in about a dozen different programs. Many of the
> programs require that instructors be trained by the parent company in order to
> teach the courses, meaning we can't send one person and have them trained and
> then have them train additional instructors. I'm sure others face this same
> problem. You can see keynote speakers and attend brief workshops anywhere. I
> think this would be a great service if, as you said, when we talked last week
> it truly is your mission to try to get more trained marriage education
> instructors out to the community, to offer even more institute training
> opportunities. We very much appreciate the fact that we can get so many
> trainings in one place, and praise you for what you've created. We just want
> more of this very good thing. It looks as though you have not yet set the
> program for the keynotes and breakouts. Maybe this is something you could
> consider for 2010. Or, if not this year then in 2011.
> Carmilla
I appreciate your writing. It is absolutely true that our goal is to
increase the number of trained marriage educators/instructors in the
community - we'd like to blanket the country to the point where we have one
marriage educator for every 100 people. (Might as well aim high.) So, it's
true that the pre and post conference training institutes are critical to
our mission. And, it's true that this is what makes this conference so
special.
But we also have a lot of ground to cover that is served by the 3-days of
conferencing. We gather once a year to share innovations and feedback about
which programs & what marketing have worked with which populations - the
keynotes, workshops, roundtables, banquets, and exhibits are critical for
this "conferencing" process. It's where we introduce new programs - the
breakout sessions are often "try outs" for new
adaptations/applications. I trust that after you've attended just once
you'll see why we value the keynotes and breakouts and the incredible
networking that goes on in the "in between".....however, I'll share this
with the rest of the group via the list serve and see what
reactions/suggestions they might have for you/me.
But I hear your frustration and I can try, again, to explain what I tried to
suggest when you called. As people study the program and options they always
have new questions - and, suggestions. One thing agencies do is bring a
team and carefully divvy up the Institutes - make sure one or two people get
trained in each different program cover as many bases as possible. I
remember when we talked you wanted basic Marriage Education programs,
Stepfamily programs, DV programs, New Baby programs, Sex
programs.....they're all there, but you're right, many do not allow you to
then go home and multiply: train additional instructors when you get back to
your setting. Many, however, do allow this OR they have a plan in place -
"three easy, affordable steps to become a trainer of trainers" so that you
can train additional instructors in your agency. I know you also were under
the impression that Smart Marriages could somehow dictate to the programs
how they do that - get them all to follow the same training guidelines and
protocol. We can't, they're all unique separate entities, but I see that as
a strength all the flowers bloom in their own pattern, color which gives
us great variety and innovation.
Read the fine print on the click-for-more-information pages (there is a
more-information page for each Institute) for the way each program handles
training and training-of-trainers and dissemination (see Toobs). There is
also a live link on each "more info" page back to the program headquarters
so that you can contact the programs and clarify their plan to blanket the
earth.
When you called we didn't talk about TOOBS (teach out of the Box) curricula.
Notice that about a fourth of the Institutes are also TOOBS which means you
are able to take the training and then go home and multiply - train
additional folks in your agency or on your base to teach the program. The
concept is that these TOOBs don't require any training at all but that you
will do better, and find great value in taking a training from the
founder/master teacher of the program while your in Orlando and they're all
gathered in one spot. So the training as offered in the Institute is also on
a DVD along with an instructors guide. With that and your insider/in-person
training you'll be able to coach your training team at your location.
Also note that their are many TOOBs presented as workshops/90-minute
breakouts (not as Institutes). You can get a lot of good teaching
guidelines and pointers in 90 minutes and, again, the entire training and is
in the TOOB kits to take back to your agency.
Also, I hope you've subscribed to the listserv - it's free and how we move
this thing along: http://www.smartmarriages.com/app/Newsletter.Subscribe
As you know I have the Institute schedule posted and most of the
click-for-more information pages are complete:
http://www.smartmarriages.com/institutes.html
I appreciate it greatly if you will let me know which "click-for-more-info"
pages of which Institutes need greater clarification about
training/instructor requirements. That is something we should require the
Institutes to spell out.
I do NOT yet have this year's TOOB page ready, but you can get a good idea
about which programs are available as Teach Out of the Box kits from last
year's TOOB page: http://www.smartmarriages.com/toobs.html
And here on the TOOB pages on the DIRECTORY OF PROGRAMS:
http://tinyurl.com/la8c33
Diane
PS. I'll share this with the list and ask for reactions/suggestions.
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- PROCONNECT: ONLINE DIRECTORY: FREE INTRO OFFER
Melodie Tucker, active in Smart Marriages and Mars/Venus coaching, is now on
the ProConnect team and strongly recommends ProConnect, an online directory
of helping professionals (therapists, relationship/life coaches, authors,
marriage/relationship educators, faith-based counselors, etc) about to
launch on YourTango.com.
She points out that what makes it even more appealing: it's free for the
first 9 months. There are no fees or credit card information required to
list, and no obligation to continue after the free offer expires. As Melodie
says, you've got nothing to lose. Smart Marriages members can create a
ProConnect profile to promote your services and attract clients/students,
interact with readers by answering relationship questions, publish an
unlimited number of articles to readers, and promote your books and
programs. YourTango is targeted to women ages 18-49 who are seeking
relationship advice the perfect audience for promoting relationship
education, and, Melodie says, yourtango.com has 1 million visitors a month!
ProConnect is already partnering with important marriage education
folks like Mars Venus, Divorce Busting, Marriage Reality Boot Camp,
etc. Here are examples of some already completed profiles:
- IMAGO: http://www.yourtango.com/prouser/20063
- Relationship Coaching Institute:
http://www.yourtango.com/prouser/20596]
- And Melodie Tucker: http://www.yourtango.com/prouser/19576
- To participate in this free offer, click here for the coupon and
details: http://www.yourtango.com/proconnect/freeoffer
- For more information: http://www.yourtango.com/proconnect
- For the FAQ¹s and extra info, click here:
http://www.yourtango.com/proconnect/faq
Questions: contact ProConnect for a full explanation of services, fees and
marketing plans at pchelp at yourtango.com or 410-923-6905.
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- DISCLAIMER: Because I know you'll wonder and because so many of you asked
when I recommended the HappierCouples.com website a few weeks back, I Diane
Sollee and Smart Marriages gets nothing from this - no kick-backs, no deals.
Just passing this along as a service. That's also true for all other
resources about which I alert you. No kick-backs, no deals - just rowing
away and looking for ways to get what we know out there to couples. - diane
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- INFIDELITY: YOU CAN RECOVER - SEEKING DISSERTATION HELP
I am a Counseling Psychology Doctoral Student at the University of
Missouri-Kansas City and for my dissertation research project I am studying
the process of recovery from infidelity. Participants must be at least 18
years old and in in a committed relationship (married or unmarried) and your
romantic partner has had sexual intercourse with someone other than you
during the course of your relationship. You must still be in the
relationship where the infidelity took place, and the incident must have
taken place at least 6 months ago.
Please click on the link and you will be directed to the 20-25 minute
anonymous and confidential survey webpage (you may need to copy the link
into a new browser tab): http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/2FPVP7B
For more information, please contact me by email: amhxv3 at umkc.edu and please
forward this survey to anyone who might help.
Thank you again for your consideration.
Sincerely,
Ashley Heintzelman
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programs mentioned on the Smart Marriages Directory of Resources:
http://www.smartmarriages.com/app/Directory.BrowsePrograms
14th Annual Smart Marriages® Conference, The Shingle Creek Resort Hotel,
Orlando, Florida, July 6-12, 2010 (General Conference July 8-11)
Pre-Conference Training Institutes July 6-8
Post-Conference Training Institutes July 12-13
Up to 70 Hrs CE
Shingle Creek: http://www.rosenshinglecreek.com/
For Conference information and Presenter & Exhibit applications:
http://www.smartmarriages.com/conferencedetails.html
List your program and resources on the Directory of Classes at
http://www.smartmarriages.com/directory_browse.html
Order conference audio & video CD/DVD/MP3s: 800-241-7785 or
http://www.iPlaybackSmartMarriages.com
Coalition for Marriage, Family and Couples Education, LLC (CMFCE)
Diane Sollee, Director
5310 Belt Rd NW, Washington, DC 20015-1961
http://www.smartmarriages.com
202-362-3332
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