Exhibits List/ CFLE Exam / Engaged Subjects/ REFUGEE Center / Suicide / Youth / Jimmy Carter tool - 4/1/09

[Smartmarriages]

- 2009 CONFERENCE EXHIBITS ARE LISTED HERE
- PATTY HOWELL SETS THE BAR  - HIGH!
- CFLE EXAM - GET REGISTERED
- SEEKING ENGAGED COUPLES FOR RESEARCH
- BRAND NEW: REFUGEE HEALTHY MARRIAGE RESOURCE CENTER
- REFUGEE HEALTHY MARRIAGE SPOTLIGHT
- SAVE A MARRIAGE, SAVE A LIFE
- START WITH THE KIDS
- FORGIVING QUICKLY: JIMMY CARTER TOOL

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- 2009 CONFERENCE EXHIBITS ARE LISTED HERE

If you THINK you submitted an exhibit application, please check this listing
and if you don't see your exhibit, we have a problem. Contact me and we'll
sort it out.  - diane at smartmarriages.com

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- PATTY HOWELL SETS THE BAR  - HIGH!

This conference endorsement Patty Howell sent to her list of California
Marriage Educators is the perfect example of what I mean when I say there is
nothing like the power of an enthusiastic, personal endorsement from someone
who has attended the conference.  I hope you'll imitate her - in fact, go
ahead and steal from her - let people know why they should attend.   - d

> Dear California Marriage Education supporters,
> 
> There's no better way to get yourself fired up and equipped to help couples
> succeed in their relationship together than by attending the Smart Marriages
> Conference.  This year in Orlando, plan on having more intriguing programs
> than time in the day, and plan on being so jazzed up that it's hard to
> sleep..  If you've been to SM before, you know what I'm talking about!  If you
> haven't been, you just haven't had the full immersion in the richness of
> what's available to help us in our work with couples.
> 
> In addition, there's networking galore.  You'll see several CHMC staff (come
> to our workshops!), hobnob with all the biggies in the field, and be able to
> confab with loads of your California colleagues. 
> 
> There IS nothing like Smart Marriages.  Download the brochure, drool over the
> program, and get yourself there!!!
> 
> Patty

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- CFLE EXAM - GET REGISTERED

Want to become a Certified Family Life Educator (CFLE)? The National Council
on Family Relations will administer the CFLE Exam at the Smart Marriages
Conference on Sat, July 11 at 6pm at the Conference hotel.  Information on
the CFLE designation can be found at http://www.ncfr.org/cert/index.asp
Pre-registration for the Exam is required. The submission deadline is June
29, 2009. Questions? Contact Dawn Cassidy at dawncassidy at ncfr.org or
888-781-9331 x 12

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- SEEKING ENGAGED COUPLES FOR RESEARCH

I am seeking engaged individuals for an online research study. I hope you
will help by participating (if you are engaged) or forwarding this to
friends or family who are.

Recruitment for the study is posted at:
http://boards.weddingchannel.com/thread.jspa?threadID=545390&tstart=30

Shelly Hovick, graduate student
Department of Speech Communication
University of Georgia
srhovick at uga.edu

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- BRAND NEW: REFUGEE HEALTHY MARRIAGE RESOURCE CENTER

The brand new Refugee Healthy Marriage Resource Center provides the latest
Information, resources, best programs and practices, training, and current
events in the field of refugee/immigrant family life education. The Center
will also publish the semi-annual Connection Magazine, which will launch
this month on April 24.  Check it out:

http://www.smartmarriages.com/directory/257

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- REFUGEE HEALTHY MARRIAGE SPOTLIGHT

Here is another Refugee Marriage website that also arrived in today's
mail.....
http://www.refugees.org/article.aspx?id=2291

Plan to attend the Refugee/New Immigrants Roundtable at 7:30am Thurs July 9
at Smart Marriages to learn about available resources and ideas and how you
can provide programs and services to this community.

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- SAVE A MARRIAGE, SAVE A LIFE

Diane,

What is interesting about the post you sent that said *60% of Army suicides
are attributed to relationship failure* is that 95% of all suicide attempts
in the general population are attributed to
interpersonal relationship problems. That would put the Army 35% below
that average which means, they have other problems. What would be
Interesting is how many were combat vets?

You may wonder where the 95% for the general population breaks down:
- Difficulty with love relationship ­ 45.5%
- Recent or pending separation ­ 30.9%
- Quarreled or fought - 18.6%

The stats are a few years old, but relationships are the primary reason for
suicide.

We could say ³Save a marriage, save a life.²  I am afraid I have seen
sailors who got the ³Dear John letter² and later killed themselves and had
to deal with the aftermath.

Thanks,
Dr. Ed Tanner
USN Ret

Immediately made me think of the WWII hit song lyrics: *I'll Get By, As Long
As I Have You* and *I'll Be Seeing You* (no I'm not quite THAT old, but my
mother played old records while we did the dishes.....they're ingrained.)

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- START WITH THE KIDS

Hi Diane-

There is an important article in Time Magazine about going beyond
traditional sex ed and including relationship skills in the instruction.
Here is an excerpt, the link to the full article, and my letter to the
Editor.  - Kay

> But Jewels did revel in one achievement. "I am," she says a few weeks
> later, a proud smile spreading across her face, "the first person in my family
> to reach 16 without getting pregnant--or getting somebody pregnant."
> 
> Five years ago, Jewels was firmly on track to continue the family tradition of
> early parenthood. Her mother is a drug addict, and the grandmother who raised
> her had just died of cancer. Shifted to a foster home, Jewels turned to sex to
> find the love and attention her absent family couldn't provide. "I was lost,"
> she says simply. 
> 
> South Carolina is the only state in the country that mandates a certain number
> of hours that schools must devote to sexuality education. In 2004, Jewels'
> school district in Anderson County decided to do even more. The district
> partnered with a local teen-pregnancy-prevention organization to implement an
> innovative relationship and sex-education curriculum that runs through all
> three years of middle school and into high school, as well as an after-school
> program for at-risk kids. And that's when the life of Jewels Morris-Davis
> began to turn around. . . .

> . . . Substantial research--including a 2007 Bush Administration report--has
> concluded that COMPREHENSIVE programs are most effective at changing teen
> sexual behaviors. They are also largely uncontroversial outside Washington.
> Vast majorities of parents favor teaching comprehensive sex education.
> 

http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1886558,00.html

>  
> Dear Editor:
>  
> ³How to End The War Over Sex Ed² mentions that the new South Carolina approach
> includes teaching teens healthy romantic relationships skills.
>  
> We know from current research (ours and others) that when young people learn
> how to navigate their love lives they benefit in a number of ways.
>  
> Along with helping teens make better sexual choices, peer-to-peer violence
> (both verbal and physical) is reduced and communications with parents is
> improved. There is also evidence that learning caring and empathy can help
> improve academic performance.
>  
> Jewels illustrates another key point when she says that she plans for marriage
> and children after graduating from high school, going to college, and finding
> a job. She evidences knowledge of the ³Success Sequence² a key lesson that
> will greatly improve her chances of attaining her dreams. Bravo!
>   
> Sincerely,
> Kay Reed
> Executive Director
> The Dibble Institute

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- FORGIVING QUICKLY: JIMMY CARTER TOOL

Here's one you can use:

Whoever said it first got it right: "Life is too short for drama and
petty things, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly and forgive
quickly." What a wise and wonderful way to live ­ but not as easy as
it seems.

Personally, I'm all for lingering kisses, raucous laughter, and true
love. I can't wait. But the idea of forgiving quickly is a tough one.
It certainly belongs on the list; it's just that it doesn't come
easily. How I enjoy my righteous indignation. Forgiving can be like
drinking bitter medicine; I have to force myself to swallow Š and even
that in small doses.

In his audio book ³Living Faith² (Random House Audio Books, 1996),
U.S. President Jimmy Carter talks about forgiving quickly. He says
that without the knowledge that he can be forgiven, it would be
impossible for him to face his own shortcomings.

He relates that both he and his wife, Rosalynn, are "strong-willed"
persons who find it difficult to admit being at fault.

One day, after a particularly harsh argument, Carter decided that he
would never let another day end with each of them angry with the
other. So he went out to his wood shop and cut a thin piece of walnut,
a little smaller than a bank check. On it, he carved the words, "Each
evening forever this is good for an apology or forgiveness, as you
desire." That evening, he gave the plaque to Rosalynn. He reports
that, so far, he has been able to honor it each time Rosalyn has
presented it to him.

With his plaque, Carter made it possible for them to forgive quickly.
They created a climate where it became safe to admit mistakes and
where it was expected that those mistakes would be forgiven.

I suspect that if we can forgive quickly, we won't have much problem
with all of the kissing, laughing and loving. And we'll probably do
more of it.

-- Steve Goodier
Your Life Support System
Subscribe at: http://www.lifesupportsystem.com

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13th Annual Smart Marriages® Conference, Shingle Creek Resort,
Orlando, Florida, July 6-12, 2009 (General Conference July 8-11)
Pre-Conference Training Institutes July 6-8
Post-Conference Training Institutes July 12
 
Shingle Creek Resort: http://www.rosenshinglecreek.com/

Conference schedule, registration, & exhibit information:
http://www.smartmarriages.com/conferencedetails.html

List your program and resources on the Directory of Classes at
http://www.smartmarriages.com/directory_browse.html

Order conference audio & video CD/DVD/MP3s: 800-241-7785 or
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Coalition for Marriage, Family and Couples Education, LLC (CMFCE)
Diane Sollee, Director
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