Adapting to Change - Gender Roles/ Matchmakers/ Bonus Years/ Dumping the "M" Word - 9/25/08

Thu Sep 25 19:25:35 EDT 2008

- WOMEN RULE THE ROOST, AND THAT'S OK WITH MEN
- MATCHMAKERS, MATCHMAKERS, MAKING A MINT
- MAGGIE SCARF: SEPTEMBER SONGS!!
- MARRIAGE EDUCATION PROGRAMS AND CHANGING DEMOGRAPHICS

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- WOMEN RULE THE ROOST, AND THAT'S OK WITH MEN

USA Today thought this new Pew survey was such a big deal that it's a front
page story:

Women rule the roost, and that's OK with men
http://tinyurl.com/3g2vwl

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- MATCHMAKERS, MATCHMAKERS, MAKING A MINT
Dating Services Give Way to Coaches, Wingmen and Profile Writers
Front page article in the Washington Post. All these people wanting so
desperately to get hitched! Perhaps we should all run a matchmaking service
to subsidize our marriage education services.
http://tinyurl.com/3pulrv

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- MAGGIE SCARF: SEPTEMBER SONGS!!

Maggie Scarf, author of many books including two best sellers (Intimate
Partners and Unfinished Business) and the just released September Songs will
present at the Orlando Smart Marriages Conference!   As September Song puts
it, the average life-span in 1900 was 50, now it's 80 and every second for
the next two decades a baby boomer will hit 65. That's a lot of marraiges
with a lot of change to adapt to. The book offers a wonderful roadmap and a
new tool to help couples keep this happy horizon - the mellow years - in
their sights.  Order the book - keep it in your office to help couples set
the goal of someday reaching this satisfying harbor, shoulder to shoulder
and oar to oar.  Give it as anniversary gifts to couples just as they might
need it. I can't think of a better anniversary gift.  Maggie has subscribed
to the SmartMarriages e-list for years and is a great admirer of what we're
doing. She's looking forward to attending the entire conference - you'll
have many opportunities to meet her.  Read the book in advance so you can
discuss it with her when she signs it

Order here: http://www.smartmarriages.com/app/Media.Booklist

>> Grow old along with me.  The best is yet to be - the last of life for
>> which the first was made.
>> Robert Browning

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- MARRIAGE EDUCATION PROGRAMS AND CHANGING DEMOGRAPHICS

Diane,
Thanks for sending the summary of the What Works in Marriage Education
meeting in England. I looked over the program and was impressed but also
surprised to see how major programs are allowed to be so dramatically
altered when used in other countries. For instance, the final presentation
of Day 1 was on "Relationship Education in Norway."  Perhaps we need to
adapt them for the changing realities in America, as well.  I wonder how
others feel about dumping the "M" word?

Here's what I mean:
- - -
The PREP programme
Two phases:
1) Translation and adaption in cooperation with the founders in Denver 1998
(Howard
Markman and Scott Stanley)
2) Contextualisation of the PREP programme in a Scandinavian theoretical
framework in order
to show that the American programme is compatible to Scandinavian traditions
(2004).

€ ²Premarital education²  would miss the target because 90 % of new
marriages involve a
period of cohabitation. Now: ²PREP Communication course for couples².
€ To avoid being interpreted as ²moralistic² and ²reactionary²  PREP
promoted as a tool of
enhancing relationships more than a tool for preventing divorce.

The book ²Fighting for your marriage² (Markman, Stanley and Blumberg, 1994)
is in Norway called ²The book of living together² (Samlivsboken), and in
Denmark ²Fight for love² (Kæmp for kærligheden). Terms for ²lasting
relationships² have replaced the term ²marriage² throughout the book.

- anonymous 

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