Job search / Fresno Signing / Fireproof / Cohabitation - 9/23/08

Tue Sep 23 13:28:16 EDT 2008

- EVANSVILLE MARRIAGE BUILDERS LOOKING FOR AN EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR
- MARRIAGE RALLY IN FRESNO
- MAKING MARRIAGE FIREPROOF
- COHABITATION STUDY

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- EVANSVILLE MARRIAGE BUILDERS LOOKING FOR AN EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR
In this grim economy, it's encouraging to see a job posting.  If you have
jobs to advertise, just email to diane at smartmarriages.com. There is no fee
to list the job announcements on the website. - diane

Diane, 
Community Marriage Builders has appointed a Personnel Committee to
interview potential candidates for the following position.  Would you please
post the position on the www.Smartmarriages.com job site?

Also, the CMB EDUCATION COORDINATOR and PARTICIPANT RECRUITER positions have
been filled.  Please remove them from the website.

Valerie Morgan-Stewart
Personnel Committee
Community Marriage Builders
www.makeitlast.org
812-475-9577
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COMMUNITY MARRIAGE BUILDERS (CMB)
A community organization located in Evansville, Indiana

POSITION TITLE: EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR

This is a full-time staff position. The Executive Director works in
partnership with the Board of Directors and the staff to provide leadership,
vision, and direction for the organization and to develop organizational
strategy. The Executive Director implements policies approved by the Board
of Directors, manages the organizationʼs programs and operations, and
represents the organization in the community.

POSITION PREREQUISITES
· A passion for marriage.
· Bachelorʼs degree required; Masterʼs degree preferred.
· A minimum of 2-5 years managing a non-profit organization.

WORK EXPERIENCE
· A minimum of 2 years experience in the marriage and family field.
· A proven track record of leading and inspiring the organization through
growth. 
· Fiscal management and budgeting experience.
· Experience in staff management.
· Demonstrated skills in fundraising.
· Excellent oral and written communication skills including public speaking.
· Excellent donor and public relations skills.

PERSONAL REQUIREMENTS
· If married, be in a healthy marriage.
· High moral character adhering to high ethical standards, both personally
and  professionally.

Please mail your resume and reference contact information to:
Community Marriage Builders
Personnel Committee
5625 Pearl Drive , Suite F Box 103
Evansville , IN 47712

For more information about Community Marriage Builders please visit our
website at http://www.makeitlast.org

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- MARRIAGE RALLY IN FRESNO

It's nice when elected officials join us in connecting the dots......- diane

Fresno rally touts healthy marriages
Ashley Swearengin and Jerry Dyer are among those in attendance.
By Jim Guy / The Fresno Bee
09/22/08 

A small but enthusiastic group turned out Monday evening to hear community
leaders emphasize the importance of marriage to a community's health at a
rally in downtown Fresno.

About 100 people listened at Courthouse Park as Fresno Police Chief Jerry
Dyer and mayoral candidate Ashley Swearengin backed the Community Marriage
Education Agreement, a group that argues that divorces are corrosive and
lead to higher crime and increased costs to government.

"The ones who suffer the most are our children," Dyer said of divorce.

Dyer said children from shattered marriages can quickly turn to gangs as a
substitute family. He also decried domestic violence -- there are 7,000
cases in Fresno each year -- and said the crime often is witnessed by
children.

Swearengin, who is running for the city's top post against Henry T. Perea,
said: "healthy marriages bring ... a positive benefit to any community, so I
thought that this was an important event to be at."

Ron McLain, executive director of the Healthy Marriage Coalition of Fresno
County, said the goal of the organization is to get "the community as a
whole to work on relationships with the idea of reducing the divorce rate."

He cited a Utah State University study reporting that each divorce costs
multiple thousands of dollars in public assistance and food stamps.

McLain said his group is not affiliated with any church or religion and it
is not connected to Proposition 8, the California Marriage Protection Act,
which is on the November ballot. The initiative would amend the California
State Constitution to prohibit same-sex marriage.

While the group stresses the damage that divorce can do to children and
communities, he acknowledged that marriage might not be the best answer in
all cases. He cited domestic violence and chronic unfaithfulness as
instances when other options might be better. "We don't believe everyone
should stay married," he said.

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- MAKING MARRIAGE FIREPROOF

Although we noted that Fireproof contained "Christian Content" on all the
Film Festival posters at the San Francisco Smart Marriages Conference, some
who are not Christian attended - some who didn't notice the signs and others
who said they were just curious.  I mention this by way of saying that the
consensus of their feedback is that the Christian aspect of the movie is
minimal.  I agree.  The marriage-saving interventions are 1) parents who
weigh in and who are not at all neutral about divorce; 2) friends/colleagues
who weigh in and are not neutral about divorce; 3) waiting - not rushing to
divorce.  The Christian content is primarily visual - a scene or two in a
park in front of a cross.  The same movie and its powerful message could be
delivered in any faith or in a secular version.   I wish it could be.  It's
great that the Christian community has this film, but wish it could be shown
in other settings.  I also wish someone would raise money to make it
available in prisons.   - diane

Making Marriage Fireproof
The Washington Times
September 23, 2008
Cheryl Wetzstein

The new independent film "Fireproof" is about marriage on the rocks.

It is produced by an evangelical Christian church group and has a
come-to-Jesus message rarely seen in modern Hollywood films.

But like Mel Gibson's blockbuster "The Passion of the Christ," "Fireproof"
carries a simple, powerful message of hope - that even a marriage at death's
door can be resurrected.

"Fireproof" co-producer Stephen Kendrick recently spoke with reporters at a
preview of the film, which opens in selected theaters on Friday .

Research has found that "people allow themselves to be more influenced by
movies than by going to church," said Mr. Kendrick, who also is the film's
co-writer.

So he and other leaders of Sherwood Baptist Church in Albany, Ga., decided a
few years ago to use films to reach out and influence people.

Their Sherwood Pictures company has made two movies with shoestring budgets
and all-volunteer casts and crews. Both films, "Flywheel" and "Facing the
Giants," gained audiences beyond their wildest hopes.

With "Fireproof," which has a mostly volunteer staff and a $500,000 budget,
the producers are taking aim at a big target - America's divorce culture.

"We want to ask people to keep their marriage vows," said Mr. Kendrick.

"Fireproof" is intended to "put wind in the sails of married people" so they
can do it, he said.

The plot of "Fireproof" was written after months of prayerful searching for
a message that could "impact the culture and help people," said Mr.
Kendrick.

The movie's focal point is a heroic firefighter and his hardworking wife.
Except for their shouting matches, the couple avoids each other. "I do not
love you," the wife says coldly at one point. The husband lashes out with
contempt.

The marriage is further beset by the husband's regular consumption of
Internet pornography - which repulses his wife - and her growing infatuation
with a handsome co-worker. Both husband and wife want a divorce.

But a different path appears when the husband's father challenges him to
hold off on filing for divorce and instead take the "Love Dare" for 40 days.

The movie weaves a tapestry of lessons through the husband's attempts to
follow the the "Love Dare" exercises. A delightful cast of co-workers,
fellow firefighters, neighbors and family members provide context, humor and
drama.

"Fireproof" takes viewers on "an emotional journey" because it depicts
imperfect people in authentic situations, says Mr. Kendrick. The
firefighters motif is important, he adds, because their motto is that "you
never leave your partner behind."

Will this movie be successful, given its intense emotional subject matter
and Christian overtones?

The sponsors think it will. Some 95 communities presold 1,000 tickets to the
movie, say publicists Nancy Lovell and Julia Fairchild.

In addition, B&H Publishing Group says it has 300,000 pre-orders for "The
Love Dare" book.

"Fireproofing" a marriage, the movie sponsors add as a final point, doesn't
mean a marriage won't face burning flames and choking smoke. It means that
when the fire comes, the marriage can withstand the heat and survive with
its treasures intact.

• Cheryl Wetzstein's On the Family column runs Tuesdays and Sundays. She can
be reached at cwetzstein at washingtontimes.com.

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- COHABITATION STUDY

Press Release: New UK study finds cohabiting parents argue more negatively
18th September 2008

Back off or Fire back?

• Cohabiting couples argue more negatively than their married counterparts,
according to a new study of 236 mothers attending post-natal clinics in
Bristol. Half of the cohabiting parents say they either BACK OFF or FIRE
BACK at one another. Only one quarter of the married parents argue in this
way. “Being married or not seems to make a big difference to the way we
argue as couples”, says study author Harry Benson of the relationship
education charity Bristol Community Family Trust. “In particular,
cohabiting fathers behave as if they are less committed and have less to
lose than their partner. This could help explain why more than one in three
cohabiting couples split up before their child’s fifth birthday”.

• Findings will be presented today at an International Colloquium on
Relationship Education held in the House of Commons. The Colloquium
comprises presentations and discussions by a dozen of the top researchers
and practitioners in the USA and Europe of the latest findings in
relationship education.

• The survey of new parents was conducted this year amongst 19 post-natal
clinics in Bristol whose programme includes a session on strengthening
relationships. The one hour session – Lets Stick Together – covers bad
habits, good habits and father involvement, three factors shown by previous
research to predict successful and unsuccessful relationships.

• The Bristol study focused only on bad habits, known as STOP signs:
S=Scoring points, T=Thinking the worst, O=Opting out, P=Putting down.
Mothers were asked to rate how often they and their husband/partner use
each of these strategies.

• There were no differences in the overall level of bad habits found
between married and cohabiting parents. However there were gender
differences between men and women. Women were more likely to Score points,
Think the worst and Put down whereas men were more likely to Opt out.

• The big difference between married and cohabiting couples was in the
complex way they interact as couples. 47% of cohabiting couples, compared
to 29% of married couples, either BACK OFF (where both parents Opt out) or
FIRE BACK (where the father Puts down and the mother Thinks the worst and
either Scores points or Puts down). “Research in the USA suggests that
cohabiting fathers are less committed and cohabiting mothers are less
secure than their married counterparts,” says Benson. “This finding makes
sense in such a context”.

• Benson’s previous research on family breakdown made front page news two
years ago. Amongst the 15,000 mothers surveyed for the Millennium Cohort
Study, cohabiting couples were twice as likely to split up, regardless of
age, income, education and ethnic group. This new finding paves the way for
further investigation of the links between commitment, security, behaviour
and stability amongst new parents.

• However there is also a good news story. Almost all parents, married and
cohabiting, found their short relationship education session useful, and
especially the section on STOP signs. “The good news is that three quarters
of the mothers who argue like this, whether cohabiting or married, say they
will change their behaviour now that they have been taught how to identify
it”, says Benson. 

• As of today, Lets Stick Together is now available to health clinics and
parent groups outside Bristol.

For further information and the full study, contact:
Harry Benson, Bristol Community Family Trust 0117 924 1480 info at bcft.co.uk

Details of Lets Stick Together are available at www.letssticktogether.co.uk
The study will be available online from Thursday 18th September at
www.bcft.co.uk

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13th Annual Smart Marriages® Conference, Shingle Creek Resort,
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