BAN - Set your TIVO - Tues morning Mike & Juliet Show/ Challenging Neuman's data - 9/22/08

[Smartmarriages]

- ANNE & BRIAN BRECHT ON MIKE AND JULIET SHOW TUES
- CHALLENGING NEUMAN'S PREMISE
- HOT MARRIED MONOGAMY WORKSHOP
- THE $700 BILLION BAIL OUT IN PERSPECTIVE
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- ANNE & BRIAN BRECHT ON MIKE AND JULIET SHOW TUES

Set your Tivo!  Tues morning, Sept 23, Anne Bercht, director of the Beyond
Affairs Network (BAN), and her husband, Brian, will go toe to toe with Gary
Neuman to debate him on the concepts in his new book "The Truth About
Cheating - Why Men Stray and What You Can Do To Prevent It." This is live
television and promises to be very lively, indeed.  - diane

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- CHALLENGING NEUMAN'S PREMISE

Peggy Vaughan, founder of the Beyond Affairs Network (BAN), weighs in:
 
> Dear Diane,
> 
> I continue to be concerned about the potential damage being done to wives
> of men who have affairs by M. Gary Neuman's book and appearance on Oprah
> where he contends that the reason men have affairs is because they don't
> get enough attention and appreciation from their wives. Frankly, this
> proposition feels like 'adding insult to injury.'
> 
> I realize that he's reporting what he heard from interviewing 200 men (100
> of whom had affairs). But I'd like to counter his report with one of my
> own, based on the responses to a survey I conducted for my book on
> "Preventing Affairs." (Of the 755 people who responded to my survey, 180 of
> them were men, with 104 of them being married men who had affairs.)
> 
> While I'm not trying to debate that I'm right and he's wrong, I DO feel
> strongly about putting his report in perspective by offering an alternative
> report about what married men with experience say as to what can prevent
> affairs.
> 
> Here's the question I posed to the participants:
> "Choose the 5 items from this list of 16 that you think are most likely to
> prevent affairs."
> 
> Below are the results (by % and ranking) for the top 5 choices from the 104
> married men who had affairs:
> 1. 80% chose Having ongoing honest communication about all marital issues
> 2. 51% chose Having a satisfying marital sex life
> 3. 50%  chose Taking the marriage vows seriously/intending to be faithful
> 4. 48% chose Having needs met
> 5. 39% chose Maintaining professional boundaries with co-workers
> 
> As you can see, 'having needs met' was ranked 4th, chosen by only 48% of
> the 104 married men who had affairs. This contradicts Neuman's report that
> the men in his group overwhelmingly saw this as the primary reason they had
> an affair.
> 
> Nothing about affairs is as simple and easily explained as Neuman's premise
> would make it appear. So I hope people will look beyond this one small
> aspect of preventing affairs and realize that affairs are always due to a
> combination of many factors.
> 
> Sincerely,
> 
> Peggy Vaughan
> http://www.dearpeggy.com
> http://www.preventingaffairs.com

And, I'll bet the men who said "getting their needs met" were thinking about
mashed potatoes, clean underwear, and being able to watch the whole game
uninterrupted .......- diane

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-  HOT MARRIED MONOGAMY WORKSHOP

Hmmmm, maybe we'll raise the conference rates this year.......

> I have not been able to afford to attend for several years but if there is a
> lot of sex I may decide to make the trip next year.  Will there be an
> additional fee? - Kevin

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> Now I  have a way to get my husband to come back to Smart Marriages. I
> always tell him he doesn¹t have to attend every session, but if there was one
> we could watch together, in our room, hmmm..... Anonymous SM attendee
 
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- THE $700 BILLION BAIL OUT IN PERSPECTIVE

How big is $700B?  It is equal to the cost of divorce and out of wedlock
pregnancy over the last six and a half years.  - Bill Coffin, ACF
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