Signs of the Times - text dating/ Wedding contest - 10/25/08

[Smartmarriages]

These two get filed under the "signs of the times" category, though not sure
what the signs portend.

The first, advises that it's not just a good thing, but necessary, to be
"all thumbs" to make it in today's dating scene.  The second says you can't
even give away a wedding if one of your requirements limits pre-marital sex.

- ON DATING 
- DON'T HAVE SEX, WIN A $10,000 WEDDING

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- ON DATING 

OnDating
Ellen McCarthy
The Washington Post
October 24, 2008

If you're reentering the

dating world after some years off the market, you might want to make your
first stop the cellphone store.

And do yourself a favor: Get a phone with a keyboard, plus a plan that
includes unlimited text messages. You'll need it.

A recent study by AT&T reveals how heavily modern romance relies on digital
missives. Eight percent of people who text say it's their primary method of
communicating with a significant other. E-mail was the major method for only
3 percent.

Furthermore, 67 percent of folks surveyed said they flirted via text, and 68
percent have used their phones to send love notes. Wouldn't Shakespeare be
proud?

Anyway, get your thumbs warmed up -- this stuff isn't going anywhere.

"Texting has become a necessary dating skill, and I think it's only going to
become more integral," says Nicole Beland, a features editor at Women's
Health, who wrote a texting etiquette manual.
ad_icon

Her big texting Do: Learn how to do it, already.

And the Don'ts: Don't pick a fight via text. (Guarantee you don't win.)
Don't over-analyze. (If you're asking friends to help interpret, you've gone
too far.) And for crying out loud, please don't abbreviate like a
12-year-old girl if you're old enough to have a 401(k).

"It's like dad trying to be cool," Beland says.

The advantage of texting, she adds, is its immediacy -- "you're able to
share small but important moments." The biggest drawback is the huge
potential for misunderstandings.

"You're trying to communicate in haiku, basically. And some people are
really good at it. Other people are not so good," she says. "So there are
limits."

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- DON'T HAVE SEX, WIN A $10,000 WEDDING
By HELENA OLIVIERO
Atlanta Journal Constitution
October 23, 2008

Don¹t have sex, win a $10,000 wedding

There seems to be one small problem with a contest that would pay $10,000 to
an engaged couple ‹ they can¹t be engaged in premarital sex.

How else to explain that in this sinking economy, no one has stepped forward
to enter the Marriage for a Lifetime contest?

Did we mention the cash prize? Or the free flowers, the invitations and
other bridal goodies?

The Oct. 31 deadline is fast approaching ‹ but so far, no entries.

³Someone asked me, ŒIs anyone going to respond?¹ ² said contest organizer
Phillippia Faust, director of an abstinence education program for Rockdale,
DeKalb and Newton counties. ³In our society, it is going to be hard to find
[a couple who has not had premarital sex]. Š But the standard is the
standard.²

Yet in a recent interview, Faust seemed inclined to relax the rules, saying
couples engaging in sex can still qualify but they must acknowledge, ³The
right choice is probably not to have had done it.²

She will, however, draw the line at couples living together.

³If the couple is living together, definitely not, because they are set up
for the kill.²

The contest is only open to couples with at least one of them living in
Rockdale, DeKalb or Newton. And there are other strings attached, too. The
winning couple must agree to open up the ceremony to the public (up to 100
people) and undergo premarital counseling.

Faust said the stipulations are designed to promote a marriage that will
³really last a lifetime.²

³There is a romantic end of it, but we are also looking for a couple that is
committed and who will work through struggles,² said Faust, director of
Marriage Appreciation Training Uplifting Relationship Education, a nonprofit
organization not affiliated with any church. ³And we are looking for a
couple that is choosing a lifestyle that is not compromising, and premarital
sex is a compromiser.²

The giveaway is among a host of events with a sex-can-wait gospel. Faust,
who goes by ³Miss Flip,² visits schools throughout the year with a program
pressing abstinence as well as teaching conflict resolution and financial
management skills.

In 2006, her program, implemented through Rockdale Medical Center, was
awarded a federal grant of $455,510 annually for five years (a total of
$2.27 million). The wedding prize involves some of those federal funds.

In the past, Faust, a former labor and delivery nurse, has orchestrated mock
weddings, contrasting one featuring young moms, money woes and sexually
transmitted diseases with another that has a smiling bride walking down the
aisle in a flowing white gown.

Faust said she likes to present kids an image of two beds: ³The bed of poor
choices and the bed of ŒWe made good choices by waiting.¹ ³

This year, she decided to sponsor a real wedding designed to showcase a
real-life couple pledging their love to each other. And she¹s ponying up
cash as well as a wedding photographer and plane tickets for a honeymoon.

She calls it the ³unmock wedding.²

And she¹s hoping it won¹t be undone.

CONTEST DETAILS

€ What: Marriage for a Lifetime wedding essay contest

€ Requirements: Bride and groom must agree to undergo premarital education.
Must agree not to serve alcohol at reception. Couple either agrees not to
have premarital sex or at least acknowledge it¹s preferable not to. At least
one of the couple must live in DeKalb, Newton or Rockdale counties.

€ To apply: Submit 600-word essay to the Mature Project, Rockdale Medical
Center, 1412 Milstead Ave., Conyers, GA 30012. Deadline: Oct. 31

€ More information: 770-918-3659


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