#1 Beach / Infidelity Leave / Fatherhood Legacy / Film Miracle - 10/5/08

Sun Oct 5 14:38:58 EDT 2008

- PUT THIS #1 BEACH ON YOUR CALENDAR NOW!
- INFIDELITY LEAVE  LUXURY
- ANOTHER BRICK IN THE WALL: FATHERHOOD LEGACY: GROWN-UP FUN
- WHEN FILMMAKERS BELIEVE IN MIRACLES

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- PUT THIS #1 BEACH ON YOUR CALENDAR NOW!

Diane, 
This was in the NY Times this morning: http://tinyurl.com/4eednl
I checked Google Maps and it's only 100 miles from the Shingle Creek hotel.
It is #1 on the best-beaches in America list compiled each year by Dr Beach
and has so consistently been on the Top 10 list that after this year he's
retiring it from contention.  Here's his 2008 list:
http://www.drbeach.org/drbeach/best_beach_list_2008.htm
I definitely plan to rent a car and check it out and thought you might want
to let the list know.  Not everyone is into golf.
Stephen 

Thanks for sending.  I agree, it sounds wonderful.  And, one of the islands
mentioned is Honeymoon Island!  It says that you can only get to Caladesi
Island State Park by boat or ferry and that the ferries can fill up, so
people should call ahead for reservations: 727-734-1501  Again, here is the
link: http://tinyurl.com/4eednl    I'll post a link permanently on "local
attractions" page on the conference website. Let me know if you investigate
further and find lodging ideas, etc and if, as we get closer to the
conference, you could send me a reminder for the list about this, I'd
appreciate it.   I was curious so checked out beach #3, Siesta Beach in
Sarasota Fl.  It is also 100 miles from the conference hotel and just 55
miles south of Caladesi Island beach - also on the Gulf of Mexico.  We'll be
so close to both the #1 and #3 beaches in the entire country  probably
worth checking planning time to check them out.   - diane

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- INFIDELITY LEAVE LUXURY
Diane,

The article about 'Infidelity Leave' -  http://tinyurl.com/53qwk3 - makes an
important point in highlighting the benefit of "arranging as much time
together in the early stages of recovery as possible." It does take a lot of
time (working together) to deal with the shock of discovering your spouse is
not who you thought they were; your marriage is not what you thought it was;
your 'world' is not what you thought it was!

However, it's also important not to feel you have less chance of healing
your marriage without this kind of unencumbered time together - because
healing the relationship is a long-term process and will not happen quickly,
no matter what you do. So there's no need to be discouraged if you're not
able to take a 'leave' from other responsibilities.

In fact, there's little realistic chance for most people to be able to take
this kind of time off - for a number of reasons:  most people couldn't
afford to use their vacation time for this purpose due to other practical
(or family) demands on that time; almost no company would offer 'infidelity
leave;' most people wouldn't want their employers to know about the affair -
so wouldn't use it if it were offered; many affairs are work-related in the
first place, further complicating the matter; even if one person in a couple
could get time off, it's unlikely both would get it off, creating even more
problems between the two people; and many people work in basic jobs that
offer no 'leave' of any kind - so it's not an option for them.

Another reason not to be discouraged if you're unable to take this kind of
time off is that while it's very difficult to simply 'function' when trying
to deal with this experience...  if people have no outside responsibilities
to attend to, they tend to spend all their time obsessing about the affair,
likely staying in bed, not eating or exercising, etc., and feeling even
worse. 

We also need to acknowledge that not all people 'want' to spend a lot of
uninterrupted time with their spouse. Some feel a need to 'take care of
themselves' first before 'working on the marriage.' And we need to respect
the fact that this doesn't make them 'wrong.' There is no one path to
healing that fits for everyone.

So for those who want this kind of time together (and can manage to arrange
it), it can make an important contribution to the process. But for those who
can't achieve this kind of togetherness for awhile (or don't want it), this
should not undermine their confidence in their ability to heal the
relationship.

Sincerely,

Peggy Vaughan
peggy at dearpeggy.com

#################################
- ANOTHER BRICK IN THE WALL: FATHERHOOD LEGACY: GROWN-UP FUN

NFI spokesman Allan Houston, former NBA All-Star, and his son, Allan, III,
have a chat about the importance of marriage and grown-up fun.  Check it
out: http://legacy.fatherhood.org/

#################################
- WHEN FILMMAKERS BELIEVE IN MIRACLES

Pretty impressive to see a low-budget marriage movie get this kind of
attention and success.  I've been sent newspaper articles from all points on
the US map - and look at this one from TIME!  Wow. - diane

TIME
Oct. 03, 2008
Fireproof: When Filmmakers Believe in Miracles
By Rebecca Winters Keegan

Hollywood veterans will tell you that if a low-budget movie makes it into
theaters, it's a miracle. But when Alex and Stephen Kendrick say that, they
mean it literally. The Kendrick brothers, ministers at Sherwood Baptist
Church in Albany, Ga., are the writers, producers and directors of the
surprise hit Fireproof. Shot on a $500,000 budget with an all-volunteer cast
and donated sets and locations, their drama about a fire captain trying to
rekindle his marriage made $6.8 million in its opening weekend at the box
office, coming in fourth overall, between a Samuel L. Jackson thriller and a
Coen brothers farce. On Oct. 10, Fireproof's distributor Samuel Goldwyn
Films will add another 200 theaters to the movie's initial 850-theater run.

A relationship drama with no spectacular special effects or A-list stars,
Fireproof has succeeded by speaking to an audience that has often eluded
studios ‹ devout Christians. The subject ‹ saving a marriage ‹ is universal,
but the film's themes are decidedly theological.

Kirk Cameron plays fire captain Caleb Holt, who is preparing to divorce his
wife of seven years, a hospital publicist who has become more roommate than
sweetheart. Caleb's dad asks him to wait 40 days before proceeding with the
divorce and gives him a book called The Love Dare, a collection of daily
scriptural quotes and marital suggestions, the underpinning of which is that
only God can teach a person how to love. "The Lord did a work in us,"
Caleb's father explains, of how he turned around his own struggling
marriage. In case that's too subtle an endorsement of the great marriage
counselor in the sky, the father-son conversation takes place in a field
beside a giant wooden cross. If the scene works for audiences, it's because
everyone involved ‹ the director, Cameron, the rest of the cast, even the
church ladies who served the tuna casserole at the craft services table ‹
sincerely believes it. "Marriage has been attacked and watered down and
called a piece of paper," says Alex Kendrick. "We wanted to say, Hey,
marriage is a beautiful thing and it's worth fighting for."

Since Fireproof's release Sept. 26, audiences have sent hundreds of e-mails
to the filmmakers describing renewed vows and reconsidered divorce plans.
The Kendricks also wrote The Love Dare book, which was originally just a
plot device in the movie, and rushed it into print in time for Fireproof's
release. The book is now No. 12 on Amazon's best-seller list.

Ever since Mel Gibson proved with The Passion of the Christ in 2004 that
church-goers are also movie-goers, Hollywood studios have tried to tap into
the faith market. Disney's Chronicles of Narnia films have gained traction
with Christian audiences, but no filmmakers have scored with the devout as
consistently and economically as the Kendricks have. Fireproof is their
third profitable Christian film. The monies they have earned have gone
toward building an 82-acre community sports park in Albany.

Alex, 38, and Stephen, 35, grew up in metro Atlanta, the second and third
sons of a minister. (Their older brother works at IBM). Both earned
communication degrees at Georgia's Kennesaw State University, attended
seminary and got ministerial jobs at Sherwood. After reading a study about
the influence of movies on culture and the relative lack of influence of the
church, the brothers decided to return to what had been an adolescent hobby,
playing with a video camera. In 2003, they asked their church for $20,000 to
form a production company, Sherwood Pictures, and make a movie, Flywheel,
about a dishonest used car salesman who sees the light. Flywheel got a local
theatrical release and a pickup by Blockbuster Video, and went on to sell
more than 200,000 DVDs. But it was Sherwood Pictures' second film, Facing
the Giants, a 2006 parable of football and faith, that earned the Kendricks
notice in Hollywood. Produced for $100,000, the movie was dismissed by
mainstream critics as too earnest and heavy-handed. But due to the
recommendations of pastors and Christian publications, the film went on to
earn more than $10 million at the box office, and it sold 1.6 million DVDs.

"The Kendrick brothers are the target audience," says Kris Fuhr, vice
president of marketing for Provident Films, a faith-based unit of Sony BMG
Music that has marketed the brothers' last two movies. "Sometimes people
think to reach Christian audiences you just have a movie with no swearing in
it and that's enough. It's not. In Sherwood's movies you have a very overt
depiction of faith."

The Kendricks' casts are usually composed of church members. But it was the
filmmakers' wear-your-faith-on-your-sleeve quality that attracted the first
name actor to a Sherwood production. Cameron, best known as dimpled
troublemaker Mike Seaver from the '80s sitcom Growing Pains, has re-invented
himself as an active figure in the Christian community with his Evangelical
TV and radio series The Way of the Master. After seeing Facing the Giants,
Cameron asked to audition for the Kendricks' next film. "So often movies
that try to incorporate a message of faith are so cheesy and I've been in
some of those cheesy movies," Cameron says. "Fireproof isn't that." Instead
of a fee, Cameron accepted a donation to his charity, Camp Firefly.

The Kendricks' business model is hardly one a major studio could replicate.
Unlike a typical Hollywood set, on a Sherwood set, Cameron says, "You don't
have people walking around saying 'They don't pay me enough to do this,'
cause nobody's getting paid anything." The filmmakers relied on a team of
1,200 volunteers, plus a handful of technical crew members working below
rate. They also secured a donated train, hospital wing and fire trucks.
Rather than the usual TV spots and billboards, Fireproof's marketers invited
Christian publications on set and screened the film early for pastors and
church groups. "This audience has to actually feel the fabric," says Meyer
Gottlieb, president of Samuel Goldwyn Films. "The marketing is more grass
roots."

The end result was a movie that, in box office terms, held its own with
A-list Hollywood stars and directors. "Hollywood is gifted at high
production quality and acting," says Alex. "But their morals and life
perspectives are so different from the rest of us. New York and California
seem to have one type of culture and then there's the rest of America. We're
trying to make movies that speak to what we believe the American family
struggles with ‹ communication, financing, intimacy."

Since Fireproof's release the Kendrick brothers have fielded meeting
invitations from two studios and one TV production company. But they say
they're taking a little break from the biz. Says Alex, "We're going to focus
on church ministries and our families for the next few months before we dive
into our next script."
http://www.time.com/time/arts/article/0,8599,1847179,00.html

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