Black Marriage Day / Marriage Twitters / Match Made in High School / It's in the Genes - 11/17/08

Smartmarriages smartmarriages at
Mon Nov 17 16:52:35 EST 2008



Black Marriage Day 2009 will be celebrated on March 22 with the theme:
First Comes Love:  Guiding Our Youth to Marriage. Start planning now.  200
cities participated in 2008!!!

Message from Nisa Muhammad:
> We are preparing for Black Marriage Day 2009.  If you would like to be
> added to our mailing list to receive our kit that provides resources,
> ideas and suggestions on how to have a successful Black Marriage Day
> event, please send your contact information to
> info at by December 1.  If you received a kit last
> year or have already sent us your info you don't need to do it again.
> We look forward to having our best year ever.  Thank you for your
> support.  For more information call Nisa Muhammad at 301-613-1316.



This is amazing stuff.  As I said, we'll have workshops in Orlando on
getting updated so you can reach wired couples of the 21st century. - diane

I tried an experiment with Twitter a mont ago and created
an account reposting interesting marriage and relationship topics and
already have a healthy following at including
newspaper journalist/writers, a CNN reporter, a KTLA tv reporter, among
other professionals.  Amazed by the quality of people that have interacted
and by how it's taken off.   The idea behind twitter is that less is more!
Quick bites...pointing people to relevant info.

Marc Payan 
Contact him at:
marcpayan at



Got this off a teenager's Blog:

>  I just finished reading an ARC of A MATCH MADE IN HIGH SCHOOL
> by Kristin Walker. The premise- it's about a school that decides to make
> passing a "marriage education" course a prerequisite for high school
> graduation- seems completely out there- but the characters in the books think
> it's completely out there, too. Narrator Fiona can't believe her bad luck when
> she's matched up in pretend marriage with jock-jerk Todd, and the two of them
> get involved in a prank war that made me laugh out loud at least a dozen
> times. Fiona is smart, sarcastic, and believably vulnerable, and the romance
> in the book is both unpredictable and completely realistic. This one isn't out
> until 2009, but it will be a good match (pun intended) for fans of high school
> romance or the non-spy elements of THE SQUAD.

What is an ARC?  Advanced Readers Copy?  Wish we could find an advance copy
of this.  Anyone have a clue about who/what this is about? - diane


See what Weingarten did with the research study you shared about men and the
infidelity gene which you cleverly flipped and called the Marriage Gene:

You might think this is inappropriate for the list, but bet you can't read
it without laughing and we all need a good laugh now and again.

Y Men Cheat
Hint: It's what they've got in their genes
The Washington Post
By Gene Weingarten
November 9, 2008

During our frequent public arguments about the hostilities between the
sexes, one thing Gina Barreca and I have agreed on is the obvious,
self-serving fraudulence of a certain stubborn male excuse for bad behavior:
that the urge to philander is innate, hard-wired into our genes to better
perpetuate the species. Thus, it was with a sense of extreme mutual tragic
sadness that Gina and I recently learned ...

Gina: Oh, please.

Gene: Let me finish. It was with a humongous sense of ginormous anguish that
both of us -- ardent feminists that we are -- learned the results of a
recent highly scientific study in Sweden that ...

Gina: You were exuberant.

Gene: ... that, extrapolating from research done on voles and then tested on
people, a gene variant present in nearly 40 percent of men can make it
harder for them, through no fault of their own (emphasis mine), to resist a
shapely, non-matrimonial butt. A gene for philandering! Gina, you glower. Is
this not right?

Gina: There are some things that are "right" that are still "wrong."

Gene: Are you saying that these study results were so socially dangerous
they should not have been released?

Gina: No, but they should have been reported completely and interpreted
correctly. The fact is, the scientists not only confirmed that men with the
gene variant were more likely to cheat, but also that they were more likely
to be emotionally unavailable, unaffectionate and personally disagreeable.
What the Swedes have scientifically discovered here was not the cheating
gene, it was the jackass gene. And, based on personal experience, that 40
percent of men sounds like the right number.

Gene: Forty percent of men are jackasses? Do you think that might be a
little high?

Gina: It might be a little low. You didn't see it reported this way, but
this is the gene responsible for rolling up cigarette packs in a T-shirt
sleeve, and for crushing cans of beer against the forehead for amusement,
and for jumping up to swat awnings, and for being obsessed with odometer

Gene: That went too far.

Gina: What?

Gene: Once, when I saw that my mileage was about to hit 123,456.7, I pulled
my car over on the shoulder of the Beltway and rolled to a stop at the
perfect moment, with cars whizzing by three feet away, to take a picture of
the odometer. It is a treasured possession.

Gina: Uh.

Gene: Yeah.

Gina: We will let that statement pickle in its own distasteful brine. The
speculation surrounding this study has been whether women should insist on
genetic testing before committing to a relationship. I think that gets
things backward. These men will still be out there, still 40 percent of the
male population, and they will find mates, test or no. Women are attracted
to superficial, immature, brooding loners with no internal landscapes. The
voles among us. The voles used in the study, by the way, are officially
described as "short, promiscuous rodents."

Gene: So, if the study had been of, say, dainty little ladybugs or

Gina: It obviously would have been a study of women's behavior, and maybe it
would have identified the gene variant that explains why we fall for those
schlemiels. Now that would be a useful study. We could try some gene
replacement therapy; end the problem for good.

Gene: Or, forewarned by testing, you could better resist the urge to go for
these creeps.

Gina: Possibly. Women fight their urges all the time.

Gene: I wonder if there are any other lurking genes from our life-as-lizard
time on earth that women have learned to resist?

Gina: Such as?

Gene: Such as the female mantis-like behavior. Copulating with a guy only
once and then eating his head.

Gina: I'm sorry we lost that one. It could solve everything.

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