The Tide of Hope / Smarts and Divorce - 11/5/08

[Smartmarriages]

- ROWING ON THE TIDE OF HOPE
- ACADEMIC DIVIDE LINKED TO DIVORCE

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- ROWING ON THE TIDE OF HOPE

My favorite headline this morning is from the Florida Tampa Tribune: TIDE OF
HOPE.  I've received many thoughtful emails regarding the election - some
with concerns about what will happen with the marriage money (I haven't a
clue) and dozens about the need to put aside differences and work together
on what unites us.  We can also be comforted (perhaps) by the fact that
Obama has said he supports faith-based funding AND that he gave a stirring
Father's Day speech calling for responsible fatherhood.  I hope he can agree
that responsible fatherhood includes married fatherhood and will see the
practical, cost-effective sense of supporting and strengthening marriages -
and that his administration can see that working upstream with marriage
education is the most effective way to shore up marriage and families in
America.  So we can HOPE, but while we're hoping we must continue to row
like crazy.  I think our first order of business is to realize it is our
fault if our elected officials don't know about marriage education.  WHO
KNOWS OBAMA or someone in the administration?  Second, we must remember we
CAN do this without federal funding.  There was no federal funding when we
set out to bring marriage education to America.....ours was - and still is -
primarily a grassroots movement.  Yes we can.  The email below from Bento
Leal in California is the kind that can keep us inspired.  Bento works with
the federally-funded California marriage initiative which might inspire us
to try to help the new administration understand why continued funding is a
good thing, but Bento's email also illustrates the kind of work that can be
done without funding - grass roots, one congregation or community
organization at a time.  And, it proves the point - if we can just get
people to try marriage education, they get it:

> I've had a great experience teaching a 6-week Mastering the Mysteries of Love
> class at Bible Fellowship Missionary Baptist Church in Oakland, CA. We have
> about 25 people attending, including the senior pastor, deacons, and their
> spouses. They absolutely LOVE the skills. The pastor himself said, "These
> skills have changed my life!! I didn't realize how much I hadn't been
> listening. This information has given me a whole new understanding of what
> conversations can be. Thanks, MML!" The class is held on Tuesday evenings in
> the sancutary from 7:00-9:00pm. From the very beginning, the experience of
> showing understanding to another's childhood memory really grabbed everyone --
> they could feel the power of the skills for themselves and for others. The
> pastor is excited to now get some of his key leaders trained as MML Authorized
> Program Leaders, and to tell other pastors about it. MML is truly making a
> difference in people's lives and relatonships!
> Bento Leal
> Implementation Specialist
> California Healthy Marriages Coalition

And, here's another email that represents so many I received today:

>> and you may be celebrating right now, or you may be depressed that your
>> candidate didn't win. I'm not sure which side you were on.  But regardless, I
>> hope you will ask those on the list to take a quiet moment and say a prayer.
>> Let's ask that the new First Family is protected from harm and that the new
>> President makes decisions that will benefit all Americans. This is a chance
>> where we all can make a difference by being good citizens and working in our
>> communities. Let's work together to make it happen.
>> Ann

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- ACADEMIC DIVIDE LINKED TO DIVORCE

> 10 times more likely to separate or get divorced!!!

Academic divide linked to divorce
Patricia Karvelas, Political correspondent | November 05, 2008
The Australian

WOMEN with tertiary educations who choose as a partner men who have not
finished high school are 10 times more likely to separate or get divorced
than women whose education is less than or equal to their partner's.

The finding is contained in a new study by researchers at the Australian
National University commissioned by the federal Government, which looks at
the factors behind the break-up of Australian families with children.

The project used Household, Income and Labour Dynamics in Australia survey
data to investigate the factors that preceded the end of relationships.

The research, conducted by ANU's Centre for Mental Health Research and the
National Centre for Epidemiology and Population Health, considered whether
mental health problems, hazardous levels of alcohol consumption and smoking
were associated with divorce or separation. It found that education was a
key factor in relationship stability.

"Compared to couples in which partners had similar levels of educational
qualifications, those couples in which women reported tertiary
qualifications and men reported not completing high school had a tenfold
greater risk of divorce/separation," it says.

"This may reflect two factors. Firstly, women's educational attainment may
be a proxy for financial independence and, thus, the opportunity for women
to support themselves outside of the marriage. This removes a potential
barrier to divorce or separation.

"Secondly, these couples may experience greater conflict or dissatisfaction
within the relationship, perhaps associated with the fact that they are not
fulfilling the traditional gendered roles within marriage."

The analysis found couples with the opposite pattern of educational
attainment -- where men had the tertiary qualifications and women did not
complete high school -- did not demonstrate an increased risk of subsequent
marital instability and, if anything, showed greater than average stability.

The lowest rate of separation was found among couples where both partners
reported tertiary qualifications.

The study also found there was no association between alcohol consumption
and relationship instability.

But couples in which women were smokers -- regardless of whether the male
partner smoked -- were at increased risk of divorce or separation.

"We consider that this reflects the effectiveness of women's smoking as a
marker of social and economic disadvantage and adversity," the report says.

The study found that marital stability was associated with the birth of a
child within marriage and older age at marriage, and that religion was
important in the couple's lives.

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