4th in SF /Types of Marriage / Showtime / Grant Reviewers Needed /Ruling Out Divorce / Moppets with Helmets

Fri May 30 18:45:18 EDT 2008

- JULY FOURTH AT FISHERMAN'S WHARF
- HOTEL FITNESS CENTER AND CONFERENCE CHECK-IN
- REDBOOK: TYPES OF MARRIAGES
- SHOWTIME: EVERY MARRIAGE IS A COURTHOUSE
- HEALTHY MARRIAGE GRANT REVIEWERS NEEDED
- RULING OUT DIVORCE
- MOPPETS WITH HELMETS

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- JULY FOURTH AT FISHERMAN'S WHARF

PIER 39
Beach Street and The Embarcadero
San Francisco
Fisherman's Wharf
Free Admission
Friday 2pm - 10pm

Fourth of July Waterfront Festival
Bring the whole family and experience the Fourth of July at Fisherman's
Wharf. Aquatic Park stage will showcase an afternoon of family
entertainment. Great food, live music, kids' activities and family fun
leading up to an amazing fireworks display.
URL: http://www.pier39.com

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- HOTEL FITNESS CENTER AND CONFERENCE CHECK-IN

> Diane, This is my first time attending the conference, and I was wondering
> about check-in. I'm attending a training institute Mon-Wed, and I will be
> arriving at the hotel around 8pm. I see that check-in on Sunday is from
> 4pm-6pm. Should I check in on Monday morning before the institute?
> 
> Also, on the hotel website it says the fitness facilities are $15 a day, but
> they said that sometimes conferences have that included, and the info on the
> Smart Marriages website wasn't clear if that fee was waived or if we would
> need to pay it. Could you please let me know.
> Heather 

You will receive your conference badge in the mail the week of June 29th. An
information letter will be included. On Monday morning come to the Smart
Marriages Registration desk in Continental Ballroom 6 and pick up a badge
holder and an on-site packet which will include a room locator and hotel
map. Proceed to your session, where you'll check-in. I see that you're
registered for Family Wellness - it's in Franciscan A on the same floor as
Continental 6.   

The fitness center is free to conference attendees.  If that isn't clear on
the Smart Marriages website, that means I need to edit it.  Basically the
hotel will waive the $15 fee for anyone that's registered as a guest of the
hotel in the Smart Marriages block.  - diane

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- REDBOOK: TYPES OF MARRIAGES

In a feature they call "State of Our Unions" Redbook highlights nine "types"
of marriages.  Their point:

> Marriage may be a centuries-old institution, but couples today are making it
> their own, reshaping it according to their individual personalities and their
> shared beliefs. They are choosing when they marry, whether they get hitched in
> their teens or wait until their 40s. They are rethinking how they marry, with
> some looking to their faith to strengthen their bond and others challenging
> the basic principles of marriage (monogamy, anyone?). And they are standing up
> for whom they marry, inviting us all to examine our ideas of what marriage
> really means. Take a peek into the lives of these nine couples that have vowed
> to love, honor, and cherish ‹ and created their own visions of the ultimate
> commitment.  

The types?  Interesting.  Not in their order, but here are all nine:
- Covenant - in Louisiana one of three states with Covenant Marriage laws on
the books (LA, AZ, AR), with the emphasis on commitment and permanence
- Married Young - at 18 and 20 & making the point that this can work
- Married Later in Life - they got married when both were over 40 and
doesn't even mention that it's an interracial marriage which means that in
one area at least, we've come a long way, baby.
- Polyamorous - a sexually & romantically open marriage. Note: no mention of
having kids by this "traveling musical comedy duo"
- Remarriage - but neither brought kids to the remarriage so it's not a
stepfamily. No stepfamilies, one of the most common marriage types is
included. And, gist of the write up is that remarriage is easier because
they've learned from their first marriages - no mention made of the fact
that the stats show that's not the case, that remarriage has higher failure
rate than first marriage.
- Childless by Choice - dogs and cats
- Same Sex - Massachusetts lesbians with two sons and also interracial but
that's, again, not mentioned.
- Long Distance - they only commuted the first two yrs while he finished
grad school, and now are ensconced behind their picket fence as a white
collar, dual income couple with child.
- And, what they call AVERAGE - AVERAGE MARRIAGE - 3 kids, working dad,
stay-at-home mom. Busy & hectic - a working "team".

To read the brief vignettes, keep up with what the public is reading, see
the photos which often speak as loud as the words, and add your observations
(there's a way to do that on the Redbook site), click here:
http://www.redbookmag.com/love/types-of-marriages

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- SHOWTIME: EVERY MARRIAGE IS A COURTHOUSE

I can't imagine....but, guess we'll see.  Set your TIVOs. Thanks for the
heads up.   - diane

> Diane, On Television: This Sunday, 6/1
> "Every Marriage Is a Courthouse." Cartoonist Chris Ware animates a true story
> that demonstrates that every marriage ‹ even the happiest ‹ is a courthouse.
> But most of the episode is devoted to the slow-motion disintegration of one
> couple's marriage. The husband's obsession with a legal battle forces the most
> basic marital questions into the open: What do I need? And what can I put up
> with? Sunday at 10 pm ET/PT on Showtime

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- HEALTHY MARRIAGE GRANT REVIEWERS NEEDED

The Children's Bureau is preparing for their annual grant reviews and need
folks with knowledge about marriage education.
If interested in helping (it includes a free trip to Washington DC),
information can be found at:
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/grantreview/reviewing/apply_reviewer.html

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- RULING OUT DIVORCE

> Wil Smith's statement that he will "rule out divorce" has a very hollow sound.
> He didn't rule out divorcing the first woman he married.  -Gary Ciesla

Perhaps he learned from his mistake.  We can't complain about commitment
even if it comes late in life and as a lesson hard learned.  Let's just hope
he makes it.    -d 

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- MOPPETS WITH HELMETS
Here's a clip from a Wall St Journal review about the book, A Nation of
Wimps, by Hara Marano, that I keep telling you to read and memorize.
Parenting terrors are hard on a marriage. This book explodes the myths, and
helps you set the record straight for couples with whom you work (or, live).

> She notes that, even as parents obsessively strap bike helmets on their kids'
> heads and squirt antiseptic gels on their hands, the adults themselves
> cavalierly break up families with divorce and tolerate the rampant
> sexualization of prepubescent girls. In short, we're focusing on the wrong
> risks. In short, we're focusing on the wrong risks. Ms. Marano champions
> instead that delightfully old-school trait known as grit. Let children take
> risks, she insists. Let them learn from failure. Let them experience all the
> childhood freedoms and disappointments that are common in the lives of our
> nation's heroes. The college-admissions consultants can wait.

> . . .  some numbers. "In 1968, 17.6 percent of students received As in high
> school . . . in 2004, 47.5 percent of students had an A average." And: "More
> than twenty-one million prescriptions are written each year for stimulant
> drugs to enhance attention, primarily in kids ages six to fourteen." Finally:
> "Using the classic benchmarks of adulthood  leaving home, finishing school,
> getting a job, getting married, and having children  65 percent of males had
> reached adulthood by the age of thirty in 1960. By contrast, in 2000, only 31
> percent had."
> 
Click here to order from $15 on amazon:
http://www.smartmarriages.com/app/Media.Booklist

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12th Annual Smart Marriages® Conference, Hilton San Francisco Hotel,
June 30-July 6, 2008  (General Conference July 2-5)
Pre-Conference Training Institutes June 30-July 2
Post-Conference Training Institutes July 6
DOWNLOAD a conference brochure and register at:
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Coalition for Marriage, Family and Couples Education, LLC (CMFCE)
Diane Sollee, Director
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http://www.smartmarriages.com
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