Nisa Muhammad/ March 17 Meeting / JOB/ Proxy business / Marriage Tips - 3/11/08

[Smartmarriages]

- NISA MUHAMMAD WILL BE AT THE MARCH 17 SF CONF MEETING
- MON MARCH 17 MEETING - FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
- JOB: BILINGUAL FAMILY SUPPORT COORDINATORS
- DOUBLE-PROXY WEDDING BUSINESS
- MONEY MARRIAGE TIPS

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- NISA MUHAMMAD WILL BE AT THE MARCH 17 SF CONF MEETING

I'm so pleased to announce that Nisa Muhammad is flying in from DC to join
us for the Smart Marriages pre-conference planning meeting 7pm, Mon March 17
at the San Francisco Hilton!  Nisa, founder of Black Marriage Day, will meet
with anyone that would like to arrive early. She says there are more Black
Marriage Day initiatives in California than in any other state - but we want
more, more, more.  Meet her at 5pm - 7pm in the hotel lobby.  There's a
casual dining area right near the hotel registration desk - you can order
burgers, sandwiches, nachos, etc.  Ask your questions about Black Marriage
Day or about strengthening black marriage in your community, then join us
for the Smart Marriages Meeting at 7pm.  Nisa is presenting four times at
the San Francisco Conference including a two-day pre-conference training
institute July 1 & 2 on her Basic Training curriculum.  Click for more
information: http://www.smartmarriages.com/black.html

> HERE WAS THE ORIGINAL MEETING NOTICE:
> 7pm in Union Square 1 on the 4th floor of Building #3 of the Hilton San
> Francisco Hotel, 333 O'Farrell Street, just a few blocks from Union Square and
> from the Powell Street BART station.  Hotel: 415-771-1400
> 
> The purpose is to orient you to the Smart Marriages conference - answer your
> questions and be sure you're *in-the- know* about the week-long, mega event so
> you can help others understand what is coming. And, this includes the public.
> The conference gathers the Who's Who of the Marriage and Relationship field
> and offers training for professionals but is also open to the public - they
> can attend any or all of the 12 keynotes, 30 intensive trainings, 140 breakout
> sessions, 100+ exhibits.  Learn about the registration options and discounts,
> the roundtables, banquets, exhibits, the Sat Night Live event, the Sat
> afternoon seminars, etc.
> 
> We'll talk about how to make this the best Smart Marriages ever and about how
> you can make the most of the fact that the conference is coming to town. You
> can also get plugged into the California Healthy Marriages Coalition (CHMC) -
> Dennis Stoica and Patty Howell, President and VP of CHMC will be there to
> answer your questions as will Carolyn Curtis, Director of the Sacramento
> Healthy Marriage Project as well as Directors of many of the California
> Marriage Initiatives. This will be your chance to get a big head start at
> networking with those who share your marriage education vision.
> 
> It's a wide open meeting.  Bring friends, colleagues, journalists - and
> ideas. And, please help spread the word.  I know that only a fraction of the
> people that might want to attend, read this listserv.  If you don't live in
> the San Francisco area, but know folks that do, let them know about the
> meeting - and the Conference.
> 
> - MON MARCH 17 MEETING - FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
> 
> PARKING?  Don't do it. Parking is expensive -
> don't drive unless you must.
> ----------------
> Is this meeting limited to Coalition members? How does one becomes a member?
> There is no membership requirement - the meeting is open to anyone interested
> in Marriage Education. And, by the way, if you're interested in Marriage
> Education you are hereby a member of the Coalition - there are no dues and
> there is no application process.
> -----
> Because of prior cruise plans I won't be able to attend the conference in
> July but I'm curious and would like to attend the March 17 meeting. Is that
> OK?  That's fine. It's a good idea to come and get plugged into the
> California Coalition ESPECIALLY if you can't make it to the conference in
> July.  Dennis Stoica and many other members of the California Healthy
> Marriages Coalition (CHMC) will be there March 17 and this will be a chance
> to meet and network.
> -----
> Is the March 17 meeting limited to Californian's only? I think you said that
> and sorry to be asking again.   NO, it's open to everyone. If you will be in
> the area, please join us.  You may be confusing the March 17 meeting with
> the "For Californians Only" Roundtable on July 4th at 4:30pm the conference.
> ----------------
> Do you have a flyer I can post at my agency to let people know about the
> meeting? I could put the flyer on the wall above the stack of brochures I put
> in the kitchen.  Great idea but I haven't created a flier for the March 17
> meeting. There are, however, two fliers available for the conference.

> One is targeted to those in the local SF region - about what's
> available for the public and options about attending one day or one event:
> http://www.smartmarriages.com/uploaded/doorstep.08.pdf
> 
> The other flyer is about the general conference:
> http://www.smartmarriages.com/uploaded/Flyer.SF.11.30.pdf
> 
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- JOB: BILINGUAL FAMILY SUPPORT COORDINATORS

Project management firm based in Oklahoma City is currently seeking
Bilingual Family Support Coordinators to provide individualized support to
couples enrolled in the Family Expectations Program through formal
assessments and the creation of a family support plan. Bachelors Degree in
Social Work, Sociology, Psychology, Marriage and Family Studies or
equivalent preferred. Prior experience working with families and couples and
knowledge of community resources required. Bilingual in English and Spanish
required.
 
If interested please send resume and salary requirements to
karen.holeman at publicstrategies.com

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- DOUBLE-PROXY WEDDING BUSINESS

This Land: Trading Vows in Montana, No Couple Required
New York Times
March 10, 2008
By DAN BARRY 
Montana is the only state to permit that strange and sacred ceremony, the
double-proxy wedding.
http://tinyurl.com/2hwpml

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- MONEY MARRIAGE TIPS

Married bli$$: Cash in on marriage and money tips
Northwest Herald (Illinois)
March 11, 2008 
By GENEVA WHITE 
Tying the knot brings up many questions.


> Melissa Tosetti said it took three to five years of marriage before she and
> her husband were on the same page about finances. The editor and publisher of
> the online magazine Budget Savvy, Tosetti said she tends to be frugal with
> money.

Dog or cat?

Kids or no kids?

City or suburbs?

Then there are questions many couples might not be so quick to ask: Joint or
separate checking accounts? Retirement plan or poorhouse?

Discussing money issues probably isn¹t your idea of romance and domestic
bliss. But such talks are as important as picking out those china patterns,
financial experts insist.

³Two people can have very different money personalities,² said Eric Tyson, a
financial counselor and author of the book ³Let¹s Get Real About Money!
Profit from the Habits of the Best Personal Finance Managers.² ³Sooner or
later, these issues are going to have to manifest themselves.²

Tyson recommends couples sit down and talk about what their goals and dreams
are in terms of money. One person in the relationship might be more of a
saver, who¹s been carefully putting away funds for retirement. The other
person might not be ready to think that far into the future.

³Be careful not to attack each other,² Tyson said. ³If the Œsaver¹ says,
ŒOh, you¹re so irresponsible,¹ obviously that¹s not going to be productive
dialogue.²

Tyson also suggests keeping a joint checking account. Separate accounts can
create problems such as secrecy, he said. Have a designated amount each
spouse can spend, perhaps $100, without needing to consult the other person.

³It¹s generally best to manage things jointly,² Tyson said. ³A marriage is a
partnership. You¹re on the same team.²

Relationship specialist Betty Lou Barsley-Marra said it¹s important to find
common ground when it comes to finances. A family life educator for the
University of Illinois Extension, Barsley-Marra  periodically teaches the
class ³How to Avoid Marrying a Jerk or Jerkette² in Kane and McHenry
counties.

³Part of it is discovering how you both feel about being where you are
financially,² Barsley-Marra said. ³If someone has bad credit and really
doesn¹t see that as a major issue, and the other person feels very insecure
or unsteady about it, then they¹re constantly going to fight.²

But that doesn¹t mean you should chuck your husband or wife-to-be based on
credit scores. Both parties must be willing to work together to improve the
situation. If the spouse with significant amounts of credit card debt
refuses to do anything about it, that could lead to trouble, Barsley-Marra
said.

³Part of what makes things difficult for marriage is when there¹s some level
of dissatisfaction in one or both people,² She said. ³That¹s when people
start to feel unhappy.²

Melissa Tosetti said it took three to five years of marriage before she and
her husband were on the same page about finances. The editor and publisher
of the online magazine Budget Savvy, Tosetti said she tends to be frugal
with money. At first, her husband was more excessive in his spending until
Tosetti won him over to what she jokingly calls ³the dark side.²

³Now he knows he¹s got a certain amount of money,² said Tosetti, who¹s based
in Redwood City, Calif. ³He really budgets himself.²

Couples must learn to be open with each other about money, Tosetti said.
Many people find the issue difficult to discuss with their loved ones, no
matter how close the relationship.

³We are so willing to open ourselves up sexually or emotionally,² Tosetti
said. ³But we tend to be embarrassed by our finances.²

Avoiding major debt and staying on solid financial ground is healthy for a
marriage. But Barsley-Marra said a couple doesn¹t have to be rich to be
happy with each other.

³A lot of money doesn¹t do it,² she said. ³It¹s being satisfied with your
situation, whatever it is.²

MONEY DOS AND DON'TS

DO start money talks now in your relationship if you haven¹t already. It¹s
never too late to start.

DON¹T keep your bank account separate from your spouse¹s. Separate accounts
can lead to secrecy and other problems.

DO be aware of your family¹s financial situation, even if your spouse is
generally the one who manages the money.

DO set financial goals with  your spouse. See where the two of you can cut
spending. Do you or your spouse really need that daily latte?

DON¹T attack your partner when talking about money.

Source: Eric Tyson, author of the book ³Let¹s Get Real About Money! Profit
from the Habits of the Best Personal Finance Managers.²

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