Add your Expertise to Public Policy Discussion \Marriage Uncensored \ Is Marriage Hard? \ Cohabitation Teleconference - 3/5/08

Wed Mar 5 19:24:47 EST 2008

- HELP SET THE PUBLIC HEALTH AGENDA
- MARRIAGE UNCENSORED: VAN EPP, DOHERTY, HENDRIX
- IS MARRIAGE HARD?
- "LIVING TOGETHER" TELECONFERENCE MARCH 7, 14, 20

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- HELP SET THE PUBLIC HEALTH AGENDA
Calling all Marriage Educators.....contribute your expertise and opinions.
Erik Carlton is right: if we don't put Marriage Education on the agenda and
explain its connection to public health, we have no right to complain when
it's missing. If the policy makers don't know about this affordable,
effective, educational approach to so much of what ails us, it's our fault.
NOTE that the agendas include time for "public comment from the audience",
breakout work groups, and breakout group reports.  It's our government -
let's do it. - diane

> Hi Diane,
> Healthy People 2020 will be the guiding document for public health
> activities FOR THE NEXT DECADE. The planning and preparation phases are
> underway, which include open PUBLIC meetings. Here's the first one in
> Atlanta but there are five meetings across the country.  For dates and
> locations (SF, Fort Worth, Chicago, New York, Maryland):
> http://www.healthypeople.gov/hp2020/regional/default.asp
>  
>> HHS Healthy People 2020 Region III & IV Meeting-Atlanta-March 17, 2008
>> The Office of Disease Prevention and Health Promotion of HHS will host the
>> first regional meeting for input to Healthy People 2020.  The intended
>> audiences for these meetings include: State and Local Health Departments,
>> Academic Institutions, Professional Associations, Public and Private Health
>> Organizations, Public Sectors: Business, Faith, Non-Profits, General Public..
>> HHS is encouraging the CDC to invite their partner organizations and
>> interested public to attend this meeting. Pre-registration is encouraged at:
>> http://www.healthypeople.gov/hp2020/default.asp. Pre-registration for March
>> 17 
>> includes: Online Pre-Registration to facilitate security access and lunch,
>> online form to submit questions for proposed panel session, online signup for
>> public comment period, online Pre- and post-event comment form.
> 
> If we are going to influence the public health agenda this is the place to do
> it. With my feet in both worlds (public health and MARRIAGE EDUCATION) I
> believe this not only a fit, but also a potential priority. Unfortunately, we
> will not have the funding to attend these meetings. However, there may be many
> on your list who also see the natural fit between public health and healthy
> marriage who have travel funds and who might be able to attend.
>   
> Erik Carlton, MS
> Project Director
> Bluegrass Healthy Marriage Initiative
> Lexington, KY 
> http://www.bluegrassmarriage.org

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- MARRIAGE UNCENSORED: VAN EPP, DOHERTY, HENDRIX

The TV show Marriage Uncensored opened their new season with John Van Epp.
The season line-up includes Bill Doherty and Harville Hendrix. Check the
website for PBS stations in your area so you can catch the show. I'll also
send a notice when the shows are uploaded and available online.  FOR
listings in your area: http://www.marriageuncensored.com

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- IS MARRIAGE HARD?

> Diane, 
>  
> I got tired of interviewers asking the same old question about why is marriage
> so hard, so I put this on my website:

> Is Marriage Hard?
> I am asked all the time by the press why marriage is so difficult. To back up
> their question, interviewers cite the horrendously high number of divorces,
> reports of distressed marriages, and cases of abuse, not to mention those ever
> increasing numbers of people who are deciding not to marry at all.
> 
> I usually reply to the inevitable ³marriage is hard² question with another
> question: ³For whom is marriage hard?²
> 
> In fact, marriage is only hard for those who:
> 
>     * Try to make their partners into someone they are not
>     * Believe they have superior rights, tastes, preferences, beliefs, or
> morality
>     * Are unwilling to use binocular vision to see their partner¹s
> perspectives alongside their own
>     * Are convinced that their partners are selfish, mentally ill, or
> defective
>     * Are unable to admire their partners¹ strengths and meet their
> vulnerabilities with compassion and support.
> 
> If you are one of those people, marriage will seem impossible. If you¹re not,
> it¹s just about negotiation.
>   
> Steven Stosny
> Compassion Power 
> http://compassionpower.com/

You'll have three chances to study with Steve Stosny at the San Francisco
Smart Marriages Conference including at his highly acclaimed two-day Boot
Camp Training Institute:

> 109 Two Days - Tuesday & Wednesday, July 1 & 2
> CompassionPower Boot Camp & Love Without Hurt
> Steven Stosny, PhD
> Learn skills to teach the intensive, 3-day Boot Camp format to reduce anger,
> resentment and emotional abuse as well as the "Love Without Hurt" 8-hour
> program to add to any marriage education course - designed to recognize &
> prevent domestic violence and child abuse. These programs include emotional
> regulation skills that make it easier to learn marriage skills. $100 spouse
> discount. Click for more information:
> http://www.smartmarriages.com/stosny.html

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- THREE-PART TELECONFERENCE ON "LIVING TOGETHER" MARCH 7, 14, 20

Here is your FREE chance to bone up on the research about why Cohabitation
is a bad idea and what works, instead, to help couples prepare for
life-long, satisfying marriages. - diane

Couples Who Live Together Before Marriage are More Likely to Divorce

Contact: Melissa Teutsch, 800-858-4109 ext.144,
melissa.teutsch at howardpublishing.com

MEDIA ADVISORY, March 5 /Christian Newswire/ -- Attend a three-part
teleconference briefing on the new book, "Living Together: Myths, Risks &
Answers" by Mike & Harriet McManus, co-founders of Marriage Savers.

Dial-in number: 641-715-3200; Enter Access Code: 640718#; Please identify
yourself.

Briefing #1:
The Myths & Risks of Cohabitation
March 7th - 2 pm

Briefing #2:
Answers to Cohabitation #1-3: premarital inventory, couple mentoring, skill
training
March 14th - 2 pm

Briefing #3:
Answers to Cohabitation: 4 & 5: Move Apart and Remain Chaste Until Wedding
March 20th - 2 pm

Briefing #1
Myths: Two-thirds of couples cohabit before they marry. Many are children of
divorce or unwed parents and fear marriage. Many say they do so to save
money - a myth. They could save the same amount living with same gender
friends. They believe they can test the relationship in a "trial marriage."
What four out of five will experience is really a "trial divorce." The only
question is whether they will break up before the wedding or afterwards.

Risks: Nearly half will break up short of marriage, undergoing premarital
divorce which can be as painful as the real thing. And those who cohabited
before marriage are 50 percent more likely to divorce than those who live
separately. As one marriage expert puts it, "You can't practice permanence."

MEN AND WOMEN COHABIT FOR DIFFERENT REASONS.  Women see it as a step toward
marriage. Men, as available sex, companionship and sharing costs - without
commitment. When men don't pop the question, women get depressed, and are
three times as likely to be depressed as married women. They are also three
times more likely to be physically abused. Cohabiting men are four times as
likely as husbands to be unfaithful, and cohabiting women are eight times
more likely to cheat as married women. Another risk is they'll have
children. Fully 41 percent of cohabiting couples have a child compared to
only 45 percent of married couples.

Q&A following teleconference briefing will include answers to:

   1. Why doesn't it make sense to live together to test the relationship?

   2. What has the impact been of cohabitation on marriage rates? Divorce
rates?

   3. Why has the church been silent on this issue?

Preview the McManus' answers by watching "The 700 Club" on ABC Family
Network at 10 am March 7.

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