TEXAS Premarital Incentives & Funding/ Pass Legislation in Your State/ 7 Stages/ FOCCUS Updates / Young Marriages - 6/23/08

[Smartmarriages]

- TEXAS OFFERS INCENTIVE FOR PREMARITAL EDUCATION
- TEXAS AGENCY FUNDED TO CREATE SOLID RELATIONSHIPS
- LEARN HOW TO PASS SIMILAR LEGISLATION IN YOUR STATE
- 7 STAGES BOOK FEATURED
- FOCCUS UPDATE 
- YOUNG MARRIAGES

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- STATE OFFERS INCENTIVE FOR PREMARITAL EDUCATION
By Ken Camp, Managing Editor, Baptist Standard
 June 20, 2008

Texas has joined a growing number of states that waive or reduce the costs
of marriage license fees to couples who complete premarital education
courses. And the Baptist General Convention of Texas is launching an
initiative to enlist churches as providers of the educational program.

Effective Sept. 1, A LAW PASSED LAST YEAR BY THE TEXAS LEGISLATURE
eliminates the marriage license fee for couples who complete the eight hours
of approved premarital education. It also exempts them from the 72-hour
waiting period between the time a license is issued and a wedding can occur
legally.

Marriage: Sacred or Secular?
The law stipulates premarital education courses must include instruction in
conflict management, communication skills and the key components of a
successful marriage.

The law specifically names ministers and faith-based organizations among the
individuals and organizations authorized to provide the courses.

Promoting healthy families made good fiscal sense for the state, said Keith
Lowry, who works in the family ministry area of the BGCT Bible
study/discipleship office.

³Divorce and the cost of unmarried childbearing costs the United States more
than $112 billion a year,² he said, citing a statistic from the Texas
Healthy Marriage Initiative.

In recent years, other states have implemented practices similar to the new
Texas law.

Florida led the way with its Marriage Preservation Act in 1998, followed by
Oklahoma, Maryland, Minnesota and Tennessee.

The Texas Health and Human Services Commission has designated regional
organizations to ensure free, skills-based marriage education is available
throughout the state.

The BGCT and Dallas Baptist Association entered a partnership with one of
those nonprofit providers, ANTHEM‹the Alliance for North Texas Healthy
Effective Marriages.

A free ³launch and learn² luncheon for pastors is scheduled at 11:30 a.m.,
June 25, at the Building Baptist, 333 N. Washington in Dallas to introduce
the initiative to ministers in the Dallas-Fort Worth area.

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- TEXAS AGENCY FUNDED TO CREATE SOLID RELATIONSHIPS

Big Country agency wedded to idea of solid relationships
Reporter News/Abilene
June 18, 2008
Free marriage education classes offered
By Daniel Johnson

> "It doesn't cost money to do this. It costs money not to do this," McLen said.

As marriages across the nation crumble and divorce rates climb, a local
nonprofit counseling agency has been chosen to help a Texas initiative to
keep couples together.

The Texas Family Institute received a $950,000 grant from the Texas Health
and Human Services Commission to provide free marriage education classes in
a 30-county region that includes the Big Country and surrounding counties.

With the grant, the Texas Family Institute becomes one of 12 regional
intermediaries for the statewide healthy marriage initiative "Twogether in
Texas." The initiative is an attempt to prepare Texas couples by providing
free classes where they can learn to improve communication skills, resolve
conflicts and the follow the elements of a healthy marriage.

The classes will not begin until Sept. 1, and Perkins said they are not just
for couples on the fast track to the altar -- engaged couples, married
couples or those thinking about marriage are all invited to attend.

"The classes are free to anyone," Perkins said. "It's not just for people
who have issues, it's for anybody -- to make your relationship better."

The classes will be in various venues around the region and include eight
hours of training on how to keep a marriage healthy. The Texas Family
Institute is searching for volunteers and will hire six subcontractors to
make sure residents in the 30-county area who want to attend can do so.

"The idea is to have the class close enough so that people don't have to
travel to get to it," said Shirley Olson, volunteer coordinator for the
Texas Family Institute. "Because we know if people have to work to get
there, they might not come."

And couples who take the classes will get more than relationship advice.

After a couple receives a certificate of completion, $60 of their marriage
license fee will be waived and so will the 72-hour waiting period, Perkins
said.

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, almost 50 percent of marriages in the
United States end in divorce.

Rusty McLen, executive director of the Texas Family Institute, said divorce
doesn't only affect one's home life -- the emotional toll can trickle into
the workplace.

McLen said an estimated $212 billion of revenue is lost by family breakdown,
and it is in the best interest of area businesses to encourage their
employees to attend marriage classes.

"It doesn't cost money to do this. It costs money not to do this," McLen
said.

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- LEARN HOW TO PASS SIMILAR LEGISLATION IN YOUR STATE

> 719 - Saturday, July 5
> Texas: How¹d They Do It!?!
> Daphine Lambert, PhD, Jeff Johnson, Maggie Russell, Erin Kincaid
> In 2007, a grassroots coalition passed major legislation that provides $15
> million in state marriage education funding. Lessons learned, challenges, and
> guidelines for your state.

> 319 - Thursday, July 3
> Working with State Legislators
> Dennis Stoica, MBA, Chris Gersten, Maggie Russell, Scott Haltzman, MD
> Learn to open doors, build relationships, and provide compelling info on the
> benefits and feasibility of supporting marriage. Plus what other states have
> accomplished including "1% Solution" TANF set asides.

Thursday, Friday and Saturday
Chris Gersten and his FAMLI 1% Solution Campaign has helped eight states
achieve set-aside funding for marriage education. Register NOW to meet with
Chris at the SmartMarriages conference in San Francisco to explore what it
takes.
 
The lunch meetings will be from 11:30am-12:30pm on Thursday, Friday and
Saturday in a board room at the San Francisco Hilton.  Starbucks in the
lobby is selling sandwiches. Purchase a take out lunch and meet with
Chris for these briefings.
 
Register at <http://www.famli.us> .  You will be sent confirmation and
location of the lunch.

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- 7 STAGES BOOK FEATURED

Book Tells You Where Your Marriage Stands
Author: Affection Can Make, Keep Marriages Strong

Rita DeMaria is interviewed:

> The book provides ³marriage education² for dealing with the difficulties and
> joys of marriage. "Marriage education is like a vaccine² to keep a
> relationship healthy, she said.
> 
> The stages discussed by DeMaria go in an evolutionary pattern:
> 
> # Passion (before marriage and up to 2 years after) -- The romantic honeymoon
> period in which mates are the only thing that matter to each other.
> # Realization (1 to 3 years) -- The passion fades and couples begin to
> discover each others' true selves.
> # Rebellion (2 to 5 years) -- The most volatile period, when each person
> yearns for a return to freedom and asserts his or her own self-interest.
> # Cooperation (3 to 15 years) -- The longest period, when children and
> increased domestic responsibilities transform lovers into business partners.
> # Reunion (12 to 20 years) -- The "empty nest" period after the busy years.
> # Explosion (any time) ­ When illness, job loss and family crises happen,
> altering a marriage for months, even years.
> # Completion (25 years or more) -- A thoroughly joyful culmination of a life
> together.
> 
For the full article:
http://www.ksbw.com/family/16510238/detail.html

And, here's the Workshop in San Francisco. This is one that's in one of the
Ballrooms, plenty of room for those that decide to switch.

> 303 - Thurs, July 3
> The 7 Stages of Marriage ­ TOOB
> Rita DeMaria, PhD
> Give couples a roadmap to help them understand the journey, anticipate the
> stages, and succeed at the mission with commitment and passion intact. Use
> with any marriage education program.
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- FOCCUS UPDATE 

Announcing a new option for scoring your FOCCUS inventories! Facilitators
can now "Quick Score" couples' answers from the paper-pencil format directly
on the FOCCUS website (http://www.foccusinc.com) and instantly receive their
scored report. Two other options already available are: 1) having couples
take FOCCUS on their own computers, with their report immediately available
to the facilitator from the FOCCUS website, and 2) mailing couples' answer
sheets to the FOCCUS office for scoring.

REFOCCUS has also been updated! This exciting inventory for couples who have
been married at least two years has newly revised text and a sharp new look.
REFOCCUS can be used in group format, administered and scored by a therapist
or counselor, or taken independently by couples who wish to self-score their
responses and refer to educational discussion questions regarding statements
on which they disagree.

New data will be presented at the Smart Marriages conference about the
FOCCUS inventory, based on data from 53,000 couples. Discussion will include
consistency across groups, variations between men and women, and our ongoing
process of data collection for the next revision of FOCCUS.

At Smart Marriages, take the FOCCUS two-day training institute, attend the
Inventories workshop, or visit the FOCCUS exhibit for more information and
about ongoing instructor training.

> 113 Two Days - Tuesday & Wednesday, July 1 & 2
> FOCCUS & REFOCCUS
> Lynda Madison, PhD, Bob Thome, MSW
> Learn to administer these practical, user-friendly, self-diagnosing
> instruments in individual or group marriage preparation and enrichment
> settings and qualify to train others in their use. Includes family-of-origin
> issues and special applications for cohabiting, remarriage, interfaith, and
> dual-career couples. $100 spouse discount. Click for more
> information:http://www.smartmarriages.com/foccus.html
> 
> 306 - Thurs, July 3
> Premarital Inventories: A User¹s Guide
> Lynda Madison, PhD, Peter Larson, PhD, Jeff Larson, PhD
> Three of the best ­ FOCCUS, PREPARE and RELATE ­ are described, with
> guidelines for use in premarital education and marriage enrichment.

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- YOUNG MARRIAGES

Young marriage not as common as before, yet still remains a hard hill to
climb
Chicago Tribune - JUNE 22, 2009
Today, the median age of marriage has increased to 26 for women and 28 for
men, a mere 1 percent of females between 15 and 17 get hitched, and most
teen ... http://tinyurl.com/4tf2k6

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12th Annual Smart Marriages® Conference, Hilton San Francisco Hotel,
June 30-July 6, 2008  (General Conference July 2-5)
Pre-Conference Training Institutes June 30-July 2
Post-Conference Training Institutes July 6
DOWNLOAD a conference brochure and register at:
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