What we NEED/ Head Start/ Bad-Good News/ Advice on SF / Fertility and Gender Feedback - 6/10/08

[Smartmarriages]

- WHAT WE NEED IN SAN FRANCISCO
- ROOMMATES
- TEENAGE HELPERS
- GET A HEAD START 
- THE BAD NEWS/THE GOOD NEWS
- SAN FRANCISCO ADVICE:  MUSEUMS, TROLLEYS, ETC
- DEMAND-WITHDRAW AND GENDER
- INFERTILITY 


- WHAT WE NEED IN SAN FRANCISCO

- ROOMMATES
We need more people that have hotel room reservations that are willing to
take in a roommate.  Both male and female.  If you are willing - it splits
costs and you have a conference buddy, and you're hardly ever in your room,
anyway, see: 
http://www.smartmarriages.com/roommates.html

- TEENAGE HELPERS
Are you bringing a responsible teen that would like to make money by helping
staff exhibits?  Steven Stosny of Compassion Boot Camps is looking for
exhibit staff help for all Thurs, Fri, Sat. Contact him directly at:
Steven Stosny <stosny at compassionpower.com>  But there will be others looking
for help with exhibits and/or child care so if you have a teen looking for
work, email me, diane, at diane at smartmarriages.com and we'll get them
listed.  - diane

###################
- GET A HEAD START 
I've got the Badge Letters, Hotel Map, and Room Locators posted on the
website. Also info about how to add a banquet or training institute or
change a session. The Badge Letters will be included WITH your badges ­
mailed the week of June 16th and the hotel map and room locators will be
included in your on-site packets, but this gives you a head start.
http://www.smartmarriages.com/SmartMarriages.conference.advance.info.html

######################
- THE BAD NEWS/THE GOOD NEWS
The hotel called today to tell me they had bad news and good news. First
they explained that the new Urban Tavern restaurant on the Lobby level of
the SF Hilton will not be completed in time for our conference.  You'll see
that the on-site packets which are all stuffed and waiting for us in SF tell
you to eat at the special breakfast, lunch buffets at the new Urban Tavern.
That was the Bad News.
HOWEVER, the GOOD NEWS is that because Urban Tavern isn't going to be
finished they're going to keep CITYSCAPE open for our group and do the
buffets plus regular a la carte menu service UP THERE.  I'm delighted! We
all should be. I think this is ALL GOOD News. After Urban Tavern is
finished, Cityscape will be closed to the public and to hotel guests and
available only for private events - like weddings, etc.  IT'S ON THE 46th
Floor and is wonderful - some of the BEST VIEWS in the city. This is our
good luck!  The bad news at either place (Cityscape or if Urban Tavern had
been open, is they each only seat 200 and we're 2,000+) so it will be a mad
scramble and you may want to just scout out restaurants outside and across
the street for breakfast, lunch, dinner and just try CityScape after 10pm
for drinks.  Fri and Sat they'll have a DJ. Bring your dancing shoes!
There are dozens of wonderful restaurants within just a few blocks ­ we're
in the heart of the Union Square Arts/Theater/Shopping district so the
restaurants are GREAT. Tah Dah.  - diane

###########################
- SF ADVICE:  MUSEUMS, TROLLEYS, ETC
Diane,
I think you should tell people about some of the museums - there's so much
more to SF than just that bridge and Alcatraz. The Palace of the Legion of
Honor has the best Rodins and European art in the United States. The De
Young Museum has our country's best collection of Latin American art, also
great American art. And the Asian Art museum near the Civic Center -
greatest Asian Art collection in the U.S.

You should also tell people that the cable cars are ($5? per ride) - ride
them once just for the thrill but that SF has the best trolley/bus system in
American and they run every 10 or 15 mins - never wait longer - $1.50 to
ride and you get a ticket that you keep to transfer to the next bus/trolley.
Don't hand it over - remember, it's good for 2 hrs. This is a "no car"
city...costs a fortune to park. Absolute best way to start from the Hilton
is to either walk to Fisherman's Wharf (great walk either over Nob Hill or
through China Town and little Italy OR take the F1 Trolley from right near
the Hilton at Powell street and go down Market Street to the Wharf - get off
here to see the fireworks at the Ferry Bldg. Or, any other day, continue
past Ferry Bldg on the F1 down to Pier 39 to see the 100 to 500 sea lions
permanently encamped there. The sea lions are on piers outside the Pier 39
buldgs. As you face the water, sea lions are on left - walk around to left
on outside. No fee to go out to the Pier 39. Shops, sea food restaurants,
views. From Pier 39 area, take the #30 bus to the Palace of the Fine Arts
(ery much "must see" beautiful - bring your camera place! The only structure
left from the SF World's Fair) and the Exploratorium ("must see"
fascinating, scientific. Perfect for kids or the kid in you.) Exploratorium
is $13 for adults. From there, take the #28 bus to the Golden Gate bridge
and walk across and back. Bridge built in 1937. Under bridge is the fort
built in 1863 in the Civil war, Fort Point that so many people miss, but
shouldn't. Beautiful spot. They can then take bus #28 south (opposite
direction back towards the hotel) but transfer to Geary St bus #38 and take
that to the Cliff House. A top restaurant right on the ocean cliffs with
magnificent views. Great sunsets. Reservations required. Reserve NOW. Or,
from the Golden Gate Bridge, can walk along the cliff path - it's called the
Land's End Trail - make it from the Golden Gate bridge to the Cliff House in
about an hour through magnificent park and past the Sutro Baths ruins. From
Cliff House can take the #38 bus back to the Hilton. Or, take the #18 along
the coast for more scenic route and transfer to a bus to Hilton. Another
great day is to ride the Sausalito Ferry from Fisherman's Wharf for only $7
each way and have lunch in Sausalito and get wonderful views of the Golden
Gate, Alcatraz, the city.

Also, advise people to avoid the Tenderloin district which is just west of
our hotel, the Hilton.  There are 20,000 homeless living on the streets who
are quite aggressive about pan handling.  If you're out walking, don't go
west of the Hilton, don't cross Taylor. Fine and safe to walk north, east or
south.  Can of course, walk west once you get on the other side of the small
Tenderloin district 9 (by the trolley or busses) - Golden Gate Park, the
Mission district (great Mexican food), the Castro district, and Haight
Ashbury are all west of the Tenderloin and all great and safe and even ritzy
places - the Victorian lady houses - to walk around and see the sights.  One
more thing, Miur Woods and the Giant Redwoods are an hr away.
Stan

########################

- DEMAND-WITHDRAW AND GENDER

> Diane
> I can offer a little more evidence that demand-withdraw is not all about
> gender. I'm running a study of new parents, which will report at a UK
> relationship education conference this September. Whereas married parents
> fit the stereotype, demand-withdraw in its strongest form actually reverses
> direction for cohabiting parents.
> Harry Benson
> Bristol Community Family Trust

Makes perfect sense to me.  - diane

##########################
- INFERTILITY 

> Diane,
> 
> Thank you so much for bringing attention to the article about infertility.
> It's an issue that has affected my life very deeply over the past 5 years
> and I can relate 100% to everything Ms. Barrow's is saying.  Although, I
> think there is more to this issue than just the type of infertility that one
> could use IVF to resolve.  There are also thousands of women who deal with
> the issue of multiple miscarriage and that's where my own story lies.  In
> the past 3 years I've had 4 miscarriages and seen every kind of doctor known
> to man to try and figure out WHY!  It's a long story, as are everyone's
> who's dealt with this issue in any form.  I'm a member of several online
> groups where women come together to talk about how to deal with the
> insecurities, marital issues, sadness, and anger in the hopes of overcoming
> the pain and keep on keeping on.  These groups have been a lifeline for me
> when I've gone through my losses and the women on those boards are some of
> the most courageous I've ever encountered.
> 
> My story has a silver lining, with all of the doctors, test, and cocktails
> of medication, I'm blessed to say that I'm well into my third trimester and
> I'm expecting a little boy this summer.  It's a journey that I would not
> have had the strength to get through without the support of my peers, and
> the insistence in my heart that there was an answer out there.  I think for
> many that's the hardest.  How do you keep going in the face of such fears
> and uncertainty?  I'll miss attending the conference this year but I have to
> say that my reasons are some of the best I could ever imagine.
> 
> Thank you again for sharing this article.  This issue is one of those silent
> killers of marriages and something that if we can find the courage and
> wisdom to talk about more marriages can be saved.
> 
> Melanie Gorman
> Ask Mars Venus & Mars Venus.com
> mgorman at marsvenus.com

-----------
> Hi Diane,
> Thank you so very much for including an article on infertilitly on the list
> serve.  Not only is it an important topic for marriage educators, it is
> important information for anyone who is a member of a family!  My husband & I
> have been married for 4 years & have not been able to become pregnant.
> While most family members, friends & colleagues  have been supportive, there
> are still those who unthinkingly ask, "So, when are you going to have kids?"
> Or, people who don't understand why we do not choose to take advantage of the
> medical procedures available to "achieve pregnancy."  And even people who
> question why we are applying to adopt.  Infertility is difficult on a marriage
> in so many ways including emotionally & financially.  This is a topic that is
> close to my heart as we are currently, "in the thick of it."
> Thank you for the article & know that it helped at least one person~me!
> Laurie Spellmeyer

**************************
Copyright CMFCE. All rights reserved.

Please do not reply to this email. This mailbox is not monitored and you
will not receive a response.

Send submissions and comments for the listserv or for list moderator, Diane
Sollee, to: diane at smartmarriages.com  (In other words, do NOT simply hit
"reply". If you hit reply your email will disappear into cyberspace.)

This is a moderated list. Submissions and comments are read by Diane Sollee.
Please indicate if your comment is NOT to be shared with the list.  PLEASE
include your email address and/or url as part of your signature.

With thousands of subscribers, not all comments can be shared. Also realize
that opinions expressed are not necessarily shared by members of the
Coalition.

To SUBSCRIBE, UNSUBSCRIBE, or Change your subscription address,
visit: http://www.smartmarriages.com/app/Newsletter.Subscribe

To read past posts to the listserv, visit the Archive at:
http://lists101.his.com/pipermail/smartmarriages/

12th Annual Smart Marriages® Conference, Hilton San Francisco Hotel,
June 30-July 6, 2008  (General Conference July 2-5)
Pre-Conference Training Institutes June 30-July 2
Post-Conference Training Institutes July 6
DOWNLOAD a conference brochure and register at:
http://www.smartmarriages.com/download.brochure.html

List your program and resources on the Directory of Classes at
http://www.smartmarriages.com/directory_browse.html

Order conference audio & video CD/DVD/MP3s: 800-241-7785 or
http://www.iPlaybackSmartMarriages.com

Coalition for Marriage, Family and Couples Education, LLC (CMFCE)
Diane Sollee, Director
5310 Belt Rd NW, Washington, DC 20015-1961
http://www.smartmarriages.com
202-362-3332