In Captivity / Discounts/ Philly/ Handouts/ 2009 / Your Comments/ Evaluations - 7/11/08

Fri Jul 11 16:22:48 EDT 2008

- YOUR FRIDAY NIGHT ASSIGNMENT
- GARY CHAPMAN EXTENDS SMART MARRIAGES DISCOUNT THROUGH END OF JULY
- PHILLY MARRIAGE CONFERENCE JULY 23/24
- BABY BORROWERS
- 2008 SESSION HANDOUTS
- 2009 SMART MARRIAGE CONFERENCE QUESTIONS
- MARRIAGE EDUCATION WITH INDIVIDUALS
- THE "D" WORD 
- SPEAKING OF EVALUATIONS:

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- YOUR FRIDAY NIGHT ASSIGNMENT
Listen to the Esther Perel Recording of "Mating in Captivity".  Have a good
weekend. You can thank me later. . . - diane

> #758-301 
> Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence
> Esther Perel, MA 
> Explore the paradoxical relation of domesticity and sexual desire  when
> security needs clash with our pursuit of passion. Help couples sustain desire
> over the long haul while respecting needs for safety and stability.

Order as a CD or instant download at http://www.iplaybacksmartmarriages.com/
Or at 800-241-7785 
Or, download an order form to fax:
http://www.smartmarriages.com/uploaded/Playback.08.orderform.pdf

Buy her book of the same title here, 9th one down on the list.  Available
new and used from $5.20:
http://www.smartmarriages.com/app/Media.Booklist

> This bold, provocative new take on intimacy and sex invites us to explore the
> paradoxical union of domesticity and sexual desire, and explains what it takes
> to bring lust home. Through case studies and lively discussion, she
> demonstrates how exciting, playful, and even poetic sex is possible in
> long-term relationships. Wise, witty, and as revelatory as it is
> straightforward, this book will transform the way you live and love.....and
> what you teach couples.

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- GARY CHAPMAN EXTENDS SMART MARRIAGES DISCOUNT THROUGH END OF JULY

In case you missed the conference, you should know that Gary Chapman hit it
out of the park in both his 5 Love Languages keynote and his 5 Languages of
Apology workshop. You should definitely order these recordings - even if
you've read the books you'll understand it in a new way after hearing these.
And, good for all of us, he's extended the Conference discounts through the
end of July:  
Receive 10% off any order of Gary Chapman books, DVDs, seminars during the
month of July when you order at http://www.MarriageVine.com and use the
Offer Code: smartmarriages

Chapman Conference recordings - GREAT to share in your congregation or CHMI
OR with your honey - another one you want to watch/listen to together. -d

#758-002 - keynote on DVD, CD or MP3
The 5 Love Languages
Gary Chapman, PhD
How do we keep love alive after the euphoria fades? The answer lies
in discovering and speaking each others love language. We will
explore the five primary love languages and learn how to help couples speak
to each other's hearts and restore or enhance the warmth and emotional
love in their marriages.

#758-304
The Five Languages of Apology  TOOB
Gary Chapman, PhD
Where do we learn whether or not, and how, to apologize? Learn to help
couples identify their own and their spouse¹s apology styles and how to
speak their language.

Order at http://www.iplaybacksmartmarriages.com/ or at 800-241-7785
Or, download an order form to fax:
http://www.smartmarriages.com/uploaded/Playback.08.orderform.pdf

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- PHILLY MARRIAGE CONFERENCE JULY 23/24

> Registration is still open for the Healthy Marriages, Safe Families, Strong
> Communities conference July 23 & 24th hosted by the  Greater Philadelphia
> Healthy Marriage Coalition, ACF, the  African American Healthy Marriage
> Initiative, Council for Relationships,  Esperanza, and the Philadelphia
> African American and Urban Family Coalition.  Speakers include Mark Gungor
> "Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage" and workshops on healthy marriage,
> fatherhood, domestic violence prevention, marriage  mentoring and more!    For
> registration and program information: http://www.pamrc.com/

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- BABY BORROWERS
Diane, 
> Baby Borrowers is on NBC and I love it! Our grant partners, the National
> Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy is part of the team that put
> the shows together. The NBC website includes discussion guides for teachers,
> youth workers, and parents to use with teens. AND, they ask not
> only parenting questions, but also relationship questions. I'm trying to see
> how we can make portions of the show available to the public in an ongoing
> basis as part of an educational activity for teens.
> Kay Reed
> Executive Director
> The Dibble Institute
> www.BuildingRelationshipSkills.org
> 510-528-7975

And, received several about this:
> The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry issued a statement
> Wednesday calling for NBC to "pull" The Baby Borrowers due to health
> and safety concerns it has with the reality show, which separates babies
> and toddlers from their parents and places them with teenagers for three
> days. 
> 
> In addition, Zero to Three also discredited NBC's "safeguard" of having a
> nanny near the teenage parents in case a problem should arise.
> 
> Despite the criticism, NBC is apparently sticking by its show and the
> safety its youngest participants received during filming.
> - - - -

And, MANY like this:

> Diane,
> I too saw the first few episodes of the Baby Borrowers and had a
> similar reaction about it being great birth control, yet flawed in its
> design due to the lack of attachment and bonding with the babies.  I do feel
> that it realistically shows how much work an infant can be, how little sleep
> you will get as a new parent, and how you must learn to put your baby's
> needs before your own - something VERY hard for these teens to even begin to
> fathom.  I was very disappointed with most of the teen girls, and surprised
> at the teen boys stepping up into the "daddy" role when their girlfriends
> were being immature and/or selfish.  At the very least, it is good
> entertainment, but at best it has potential to stop these (and other) young
> couples from prematurely having children that they are not mature enough to
> raise.  
> 
> Layla Z. El-Chami
> Family & Consumer Science Extension Agent
> Wichita, KS 

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- 2008 SESSION HANDOUTS
I am posting workshop handouts as I receive them (and can find time to get
them posted) at smartmarriages.com.  Look for the link in the left column
under Recordings. I will NOT post keynote powerpoints (most include video
and are too large - others had no powerpoint) AND if a keynote did have
powerpoint slides & video clips, they're included in the DVDs - just order
the DVDs. 

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- 2009 SMART MARRIAGE CONFERENCE QUESTIONS
I'm being asked many questions about the 2009 13th Annual Smart Marriages
Conference.  I'll try to answer a bunch of them here and will also post this
info on the website conference page.

DATES: July 6-11, 2009.  We'll follow the same days-of-the-week pattern we
had in SF, with 2 and 3-day Institutes as preconference July 6-8, 1-day as
post conference on July 12, with workshops and keynotes on Thurs, Fri, Sat.

LOCATION: Shingle Creek Resort, Orlando, Florida.  $115 single/double.
http://www.rosenshinglecreek.com/

RESERVATIONS: I'll announce on the list when Shingle Creek will begin to
take reservations. 

APPLICATIONS: Presenter, Exhibit, Volunteer applications will be posted in
September.  Watch the list for announcements as they become available.

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- MARRIAGE EDUCATION WITH INDIVIDUALS
> Hi Diane,  
> A comment on the Wall St Journal article regarding programs for individuals.
> Our program, Within MY Reach (WMR) is not just about a spouse attending on
> their own because of conflicting work schedules, etc. It's about meeting the
> needs of usually economically challenged single parents who may or may not be
> in a relationship or marriage. They may be living with someone with whom they
> share a child or children, may want a future, or may not be sure if they want
> a future (and some of their relationships may be dangerous/unviable.) Some are
> not in a relationship but are hoping to learn how to make sure it goes better
> next time they fall in love. WMR is meant to reach this large group of people
> who for a number of reasons are not ready or able to yet attend as a couple.
> I'm going to see if we can offer this as a Training Institute in Orlando.
> Marline Pearson 

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- THE "D" WORD  

Enjoyed the conference, for my money Esther Perel and Sue Johnson were the
hits. Both Esther and I presented at the American Association of Sexuality
Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) in New Orleans just before
presenting at Smart Marriages in San Francisco. What different conferences.
The theme of the AASECT conference was honoring sexual diversity - you never
heard the "M" word. At Smart Marriages it's not politically correct to use
the "D" word. What different constituencies. They need to start talking to
each othere. Looking forward to seeing the evaluations and to Orlando.
- Barry McCarthy 

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- SPEAKING OF EVALUATIONS:
Barry McCarthy is not the only one eager to see the conference evaluations.
Please go ONLINE and write as many comments as you have time for - whether
you need CE or not.  Someone just called to complain that she'd spent an
hour writing a juicy evaluation but the CE form wasn't printing.  We started
chatting and talked long enough that the form finally "popped up" on her
screen.  Which means it takes a while for the program to churn and process.
Another caller asked about what to do about coming up with additional
"constructive criticisms" after he'd already finished his evaluation.  The
answer: go in and write as many evaluations as you like.  Remember, the
presenters read your comments and want meaty, beefy advice about what you
liked, didn't like, what was helpful, what wasn't.  They see exactly what
you write - your comments are not edited. Your names are NOT attached.

The ONLINE evaluation will be posted now through July 31 at:
http://gotomylist.com/cme/smc05/eval08.cfm
Questions: 
http://www.smartmarriages.com/evaluation.faqs.html

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