CFLE Exam at Smart Marriages | Reading Marriage | The Grandmother Thread | Our Kids & Marriage - 1/5/08

[Smartmarriages]

- TAKE THE CFLE EXAM AT SMART MARRIAGES
- READING MARRIAGE: "FIVE BEST"
- THAT GRANDMOTHER THING
- NOT ALL OUR YOUTH FIND MARRIAGE OUTDATED

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- TAKE THE CFLE EXAM AT SMART MARRIAGES

Attendees at Smart Marriages in San Francisco will have the opportunity to
take the Certified Family Life Educator (CFLE) Exam while at the Conference
on Friday, July 4 from 4:30 - 7:30pm. The exam will be held at the San
Francisco Hilton. Check the on-site room locator for exam room location.

The final Friday conference session ends at 4pm which means you will will
none of the conference.  You'll be out of the exam by 7:30pm which will give
you plenty of time to grab dinner and get down to the Bay to view the
fireworks Fri night. You are welcome to bring a powerbar and drink with you
to the exam room.

Exam candidates must complete the CFLE Exam Application form including the
Family Life Education Work Experience Summary form it they are pursuing Full
Certification. The submission deadline is June 2 for both Provisional and
Full Certification.

Complete information on the CFLE credential and the CFLE Exam can be found
at http://www.ncfr.org/cert/index.asp
Questions? Contact Dawn Cassidy at dawn at ncfr.org with questions.

Certified Family Life Educator (CFLE)
The National Council on Family Relations (NCFR) sponsors the only
international program to certify family life educators. The Certified Family
Life Educator (CFLE) program encourages applications from all professionals
with course work and experience in family life education including formal
teaching, research/scholarship, community education, public information and
education, curriculum and resource development, health care, military family
support, counseling, and ministry. Certified family life educators must have
a minimum of a bachelor's degree; many CFLEs have advanced degrees.

Why Become a CFLE?
Certification recognizes a proven background and understanding in each of
the ten family life content areas. While CFLEs may work specifically in one
discipline, such as parent education or marriage enrichment, their
understanding of the many areas that affect today's families enables them to
be more effective in their efforts to educate and work with individuals and
families. The Certified Family Life Educator designation recognizes the
educational, preventive, and enriching nature of their work. Additionally,
standards identified for certification help to increase awareness and
understanding of family life education as a profession.

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- READING MARRIAGE: "FIVE BEST"

A list of Five Best books on marriage all written before WWII:
These works explore marriage with uncommon clarity, says author Edward
Mendelson
The Wall Street Journal
January 5, 2008

Some quotes from the book blurbs:

> Without making any final judgments, Trollope explores the ways in which a
> marriage is not just a relation between two persons but also a relation
> between the married couple and the world around them.

> De Rougemont argues that marriages fail when the partners want a romance that
> can continue through a lifetime but succeed when the partners recognize that
> marriage can be more complex, more satisfying and more intense than even the
> brightest sudden flare of romance.

Auuuugh....how in the world will we ever find time to read these. So many
books on Marriage, so little time....

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB119948713315368647.html?mod=googlenews_wsj

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- THAT GRANDMOTHER THING

I keep getting these emails. Will quit sending them, but one last time to
emphasize that someone needs to pick up on this and do the research, write
the book - or, at least an article. -diane

> Hi Diane, 
> I forwarded the mother-in-law/grandparenting letters to a number of friends
> and relatives who are grandparents and have sons and was amazed at the
> response evoked.  I was on the phone all day yesterday with people I don't
> frequently talk with calling to pour out their stories of not understanding
> why they are being kept at a distance, particularly when the relationship
> between them and their daughter-in-laws seemed to get off to a good start.
> One friend was visiting her son, his wife and her one year old grandchild ­
> and the "other grandmother" was there.  Her very perceptive son said to her it
> was the first time he realized how sad it was for her that she didn't have a
> daughter when he saw the difference between the way his wife acted with the
> two grandmothers.  (She by the way has three wonderful sons and had never
> regretted not having a daughter.)  This whole in-law topic is very hot ­
> particularly when the grandparenting piece is added ­ and is surely touching a
> nerve!   ~ Syble

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- NOT ALL OUR YOUTH FIND MARRIAGE OUTDATED

This is extra special in that it comes from California....we need to invite
this journalist to attend Smart Marriages!  - diane

Shrider column: Not all of our youth find marriage outdated
BY MARYLEE SHRIDER, contributing columnist | Jan 4 2008
The Bakersfield Californian

It's a large moment when a young man asks permission to marry your daughter,
a moment you would gladly relive over and over.

It's overwhelming even when expected, a custom that honors parents, family
and marriage.

It's a moment some in this post-marriage age might dismiss as a polite
formality or outdated custom. In truth, it's a tradition of great
significance, which my husband and I discovered recently when our daughter's
boyfriend showed up at our door, engagement ring in hand.

He was nervous, but resolute; we were charmed and deeply touched.

Once he'd received our blessing, he then bowled us over by inviting us to be
there when he popped the question.

Wow. Old-fashioned it may be, but what an optimistic beginning.

The institution of marriage has taken quite a beating in the last 30 years,
a victim of high divorce rates, family fragmentation, feminism, cohabitation
and the courts.

Understandably jaded by the behavior of their elders and duped by a pop
culture that values self above all else, many of our youth have bought into
the myth that marriage simply doesn't matter.

Grown-ups are buying the myth, too, with four out of 10 Americans saying
marriage isn't necessary to prove love and commitment, according to a
just-released poll by AOL Personals and Zogby International.

Most of those surveyed said they believe marriage should last until "death
do us part," but also said they would prefer to live together first before
marriage, according to news stories on the poll.

The thinking there, apparently, is to test the marital waters before diving
in headfirst, to be certain the one you love is the one you'll love for
life.

The idea that a couple could determine that by way of a test run is one of
our society's most persistent fictions despite studies that show shacking up
is significantly less stable than tying the knot. America's shameful divorce
rate is hardly news either -- the probability of a first marriage ending in
separation or divorce within five years is 20 percent, according to the
National Center for Health Statistics.

But the probability of a premarital cohabitation breaking up within five
years is much greater at 49 percent. After 10 years, that probability rises
to 33 percent for a first marriage, compared with 62 percent for
cohabitations, according to the report.

So much for commitment.

Look, nobody ever said marriage was easy, but every study out there shows
men and women who get married and stay married tend to live longer, enjoy
better health and are generally happier than people who are single or
divorced.

And children born into the protective environs of marriage enjoy similar
physical and mental health benefits.

There's no arguing that marriage, as an institution, is showing some wear.

But those of us who have somehow managed to make it work are encouraged when
our youth choose to keep time-honored traditions like asking permission to
take a bride.

So, when Travis David took a knee a week ago Friday and proposed to Katie
Shrider in the company of a couple-dozen teary-eyed relatives and friends,
he did so with the enthusiastic blessing of both her parents.

(Katie said yes, by the way.)


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