Love Letter Kits\ Average Man \ Marriage and Civilization \ California: 10,000! - 2/18/08

Smartmarriages smartmarriages at lists101.his.com
Mon Feb 18 23:26:42 EST 2008


- LOVE LETTER KITS: HUGE SUCCESS IN WISCONSIN
- AVERAGE MAN PROPOSES AFTER THREE YEARS....HOW TO RISE ABOVE "JUST AVERAGE"
- MARRIAGE AND CIVILIZATION: YOU MUST WATCH THIS VIDEO!
- COVERAGE OF THE CALIFORNIA MARRIAGE INITIATIVE

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- LOVE LETTER KITS: HUGE SUCCESS IN WISCONSIN

Hi Diane,
We¹re bursting with excitement about our Marriage Week successes in
Wisconsin!  We just found out our thinkmarriage.org campaign won a Gold Addy
Award, a nice recognition from the advertising world!
 
Our whole National Marriage Week campaign was cited which included our
Marriage Myth Buster Guide, billboards, and Love Letter Kits.
 
We distributed over 14,000 Love letter kits across the state - plus have
filled requests for kits from around the nation! The Love Letter Kit
campaign also resulted in interviews on every local affiliated Network, plus
many radio stations, newspapers and magazines. It was seen as different
enough from the typical ³Valentine² stories to be newsworthy! The publicity
also led to a new round of requests for our Marriage Myth Buster guide and
to subscriptions to our e newsletter.
 
Even though anyone can write a love letter, people clearly love the "how to"
tips from the "experts". And the best part is the kits gave us a wonderful
opening to tell the bigger story of our mission.
 
Readers of your list can still request a free Love letter kit from our
website, http://www.thinkmarriage.org
  
Michele Olson
Communications Director
thinkmarriage/Foundation for a Great Marriage

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- AVERAGE MAN PROPOSES AFTER THREE YEARS....HOW TO RISE ABOVE "JUST AVERAGE"

The average man proposes after three years - and the average woman wants him
to pop the question four months earlier.

Whirlwind romances may not be to everyone's taste, but it seems boyfriends
who are approaching their third "anniversary" are overdue for the ultimate
romantic gesture says the Daily Mail
<http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/femail/article.html?in_article_id=515
470&amp;in_page_id=1879> . The average couple gets engaged two years, 11
months and eight days after first setting eyes on each other, according to
research.  But women feel ready to tie the knot even sooner - after just two
years, seven months and 24 days.
 
Alexandra Campos, of The National Wedding Show, which carried out the poll
said: "Men everywhere should be getting ready to buy that ring and get down
on one knee if they are anywhere near the three-year anniversary.  "If you
really want to earn some brownie points, you could pop the question a few
months earlier, as this research shows that's when women think it's the
perfect time to get engaged."
 
The poll of 3,000 engaged or married Brits also revealed that one in ten has
even set a time limit on when they get engaged.  And if their partner hasn't
agreed to marry before the self-imposed deadline, more than 75 per cent
would end the relationship. But the poll suggests it may be difficult to
meet a woman's romantic expectations, as 43 per cent of those who do get the
proposal within three years wish it had been more romantic and 42 per cent
told their partners so.
 
It also noted that one in ten women breaks with tradition by making the
proposal themselves. Miss Campos added: "2008 is a leap year and a long-held
tradition dating back to the fifth century means ladies can take matters
into their own hands and pop the question to their boyfriend this year. It
would seem that not hanging around to be asked is becoming increasingly
fashionable as queen of cool Sienna Miller asked Rhys Ifans to make an
honest woman of her earlier in the year - and she has always been a style
leader." 
 
Reported in the UK Marriage News. Subscribe at: http://www.2-in-2-1.co.uk

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- MARRIAGE AND CIVILIZATION: YOU MUST WATCH THIS VIDEO!

Diane:
Here's an excellent video about Obstacles to Marriage, and the
destabilization of society that is occurring because young men in the Middle
East can¹t earn enough money to afford to marry. It underlines how crucial
marriage is for civilization, and the consequences if young people are not
able to marry and become desperate and find solace in religion.
This is really worth watching. It's a companion piece to a long article in
Sunday's NYTimes.
Jana Staton 

To watch the video:
http://tinyurl.com/2hfawf

And, here's the article:

Marriage in Egypt
The New York Times 
February 17, 2008 

HELPING HAND A charity paid for dozens of couples to wed last fall in Idku,
Egypt. Many young Egyptians cannot afford to marry and set up a household.

In Egypt and across the Middle East, many young people are being forced to
put off marriage, the gateway to independence, sexual activity and societal
respect. Marriage plays an important financial role for families and the
community. Often the only savings families acquire over a lifetime is the
money for their children to marry, and handing it over amounts to an
intergenerational transfer of wealth. Abeer Adel, 19, and her fiancé, Amgad
Muhammad, 21, looked at engagement rings and other jewelry at a shop in
Cairo. The two, who are cousins, said they planned to be engaged for four
years.

For the full article and slideshow:
http://tinyurl.com/2jcgph

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- COVERAGE OF THE CALIFORNIA MARRIAGE INITIATIVE

Sure makes it sound like there's reason to hope!
> "We're estimating that 10,000 people will take the federally supported
> Marriage Education curricula this year," . . .

Keep up communication in marriage
February 18, 2008
By SUSAN GILL
The Press-Enterprise (Riverside California)

That seven-year itch can creep up long before the seventh anniversary or
many years later. How can you keep your marriage in tiptop shape and ensure
its longevity?

Patty Howell, with the California Healthy Marriages Coalition, says
communication skills are extremely important, and learning them prepares
couples for the inevitable troubles they will face.

"They learn the ways to talk about difficult subjects, so that they can do
it without damaging their relationships," Howell says.

She says the benefit of adults learning these skills is that when couples
hit a rough patch -- health, job, financial or child problems -- they can
work through the problems instead of letting the issues defeat the marriage.

"Nobody knows how to (be married) from birth," Howell says. "You have to
learn. Marriage is a skill-based relationship."

The CHMC is a nonprofit organization, which collaborates with 23 faith- and
community-based organizations throughout the state. It received an $11.9
million federal grant in 2006. The coalition promotes healthy marriages by
offering classes at various venues around the state. At these classes,
people and couples can learn conflict-resolution and communication skills.

"We're estimating that 10,000 people will take the federally supported
Marriage Education curricula this year," Howell says. "It's becoming
amazingly popular. It's a resource for couples that's starting to be
understood and known about."

One of the benefits of classes like these is that they're free or low-cost
and are held in a variety of locations.

"It's cost-effective and well-received because it helps couples create
closeness, understanding and stability in their relationship and in the
lives of their children," Howell says.

Professional Help

J.M. Evosevich is a marriage and family therapist in Palm Springs. He says
that to keep a marriage working well, it requires regular maintenance.

"It's certainly OK to contact a professional and get a checkup. Sometimes,
it's good to get a third party to look at the situation," Evosevich says.

One of the benefits of getting a relationship checkup is finding out whether
couples are on the same page with one another, Evosevich says. He also
suggests that couples who do well in their relationships have humor and let
the humor come through in difficult times.

In terms of major marital issues, Evosevich says that one of the highest
stressors he sees is problems with finances. Other things include poor
communication, disagreement on how to raise the children and job-related
problems.

"One of the things I do is interventions. I have people write down
expectations and how they want their marriage to be," he says. "Figure out
how to have quality time together, and have date nights and not talk about
children or work. We need to be conscious of getting to know each other."

Evosevich says there's no shame in seeking help in maintaining your
relationship.

"I've seen the stigma of couples counseling decreasing in the past 20
years," he says. "People are less hesitant to seek a therapist to help them
out."

Healthy Family

Mykel Mitchell, of Eastvale, has participated in marriage-education programs
with his wife of 13 years. He and his wife, Sheeri, lead the marriage
ministry at their church, Praise Tabernacle Bible Church in Chino.

"If you have a healthy marriage, then you have a healthy family. It's
critical," Mitchell says. "If your children are able to witness firsthand
how their parents get along and communicate together, in the long run, it
encourages them and gives them a real comfort to know that their parents are
together and happy. It really establishes security."

The marriage classes have given the Mitchells an opportunity to improve
communication.

"One of the biggest things couples walked away with was empathetic
listening. It was actually a real, deliberate way of speaking and
communicating with one another that has been very effective," Mitchell says.

A good way to establish worthwhile communication in a relationship is to
find out priorities in a marriage. Mitchell says that the key to his
marriage is faith.

"It's not about us. It's about us adhering to what we believe in," he says.

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12th Annual Smart Marriages® Conference, Hilton San Francisco Hotel,
July 2 - 5, 2008  
Pre-Conference Training Institutes June 30-July 2
Post-Conference Training Institutes July 6

List your program and resources on the Directory of Classes at
http://www.smartmarriages.com/directory_browse.html

Order conference audio & video CD/DVD/MP3s: 800-241-7785 or
http://www.iPlaybackSmartMarriages.com

Coalition for Marriage, Family and Couples Education, LLC (CMFCE)
Diane Sollee, Director
5310 Belt Rd NW, Washington, DC 20015-1961
http://www.smartmarriages.com
202-362-3332

FAIR USE NOTICE: This e-newsletter/site contains copyrighted material the
use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright
owner. We make such material available in our efforts to advance
understanding of marriage, family, couples, divorce, legislation, family
breakdown, etc. We understand this constitutes a 'fair use' of such material
as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with
Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed
without profit to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the
included information for research and educational purposes. For more
information go to: http://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/17/107.shtml. If you
wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own
that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright
owner.

Send submissions and comments for the listserv to: diane at smartmarriages.com
Do NOT hit "reply". If you hit reply your email will go into cyberspace and
NO ONE will see your email.

This is a moderated list. Submissions and comments are read by Diane Sollee,
editor. Please indicate if your comment is NOT to be shared with the list.
PLEASE include your email address and/or url as part of your signature.

Please also understand that with thousands of subscribers, not all comments
can be shared. Also realize that opinions expressed are not necessarily
shared by members of the Coalition.

To SUBSCRIBE, UNSUBSCRIBE, or Change your subscription address,
use the form at: http://www.smartmarriages.com. Click Newsletter/Listserv -
in the left column under the puzzle piece.

To read past posts to the listserv, visit the Archive at:
http://lists101.his.com/pipermail/smartmarriages/

12th Annual Smart Marriages® Conference, Hilton San Francisco Hotel,
July 2 - 5, 2008  
Pre-Conference Training Institutes June 30-July 2
Post-Conference Training Institutes July 6

List your program and resources on the Directory of Classes at
http://www.smartmarriages.com/directory_browse.html

Order conference audio & video CD/DVD/MP3s: 800-241-7785 or
http://www.iPlaybackSmartMarriages.com

Coalition for Marriage, Family and Couples Education, LLC (CMFCE)
Diane Sollee, Director
5310 Belt Rd NW, Washington, DC 20015-1961
http://www.smartmarriages.com
202-362-3332

FAIR USE NOTICE: This e-newsletter/site contains copyrighted material the
use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright
owner. We make such material available in our efforts to advance
understanding of marriage, family, couples, divorce, legislation, family
breakdown, etc. We understand this constitutes a 'fair use' of such material
as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with
Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed
without profit to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the
included information for research and educational purposes. For more
information go to: http://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/17/107.shtml. If you
wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own
that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright
owner.







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