RHODE ISLAND SHOULD SUPPORT MARRIAGE EDUCATION - 2/16/08

[Smartmarriages]

Talk about a great way to celebrate Marriage Week.  Look at the editorial
our own Scott Haltzman got printed in the Providence Journal!
This is so good I'm going to post it on the Legislation page and the
Articles/Information page so you can all use it as a template in your state.

Scott will join the legislation panel in San Francisco in addition to
presenting his highly rated sessions on his Secrets of Happily Married Men
and Women. - diane 

> 319 - Thursday, July 3, SF
> Working with State Legislators
> Carolyn Curtis, PhD, Chris Gersten, Maggie Russell, Scott Haltzman, MD, and a
> panel of legislators
> Learn to open doors, build relationships, and provide compelling info on the
> benefits and feasibility of supporting marriage. Plus what other states have
> accomplished including "1% Solution" TANF set asides.

> 602 - Saturday Masters Session, July 5, SF
> Secrets of Happily Married Women
> Scott Haltzman, MD
> Help wives become energized and find contentment in the face of the challenges
> of balancing feminist ideals, traditional roles, work, self, kids, and
> well-intentioned advice about having it all.

> 803 - Saturday, July 5 - FOR MEN ONLY
> Win Your Wife¹s Heart Forever
> Scott Haltzman, MD
> If we can build skyscrapers and land on Mars, we can also figure out how to
> succeed at marriage. Eight Secrets From Happily Married Men on how to win ­
> and keep ­ the prize. For men only.

- RHODE ISLAND SHOULD SUPPORT MARRIAGE EDUCATION

Rhode Island should support marriage education
The Providence Journal.
Friday, February 15, 2008
SCOTT HALTZMAN

IN THE LAST FEW WEEKS, Governor Carcieri has proposed a dizzying number of
plans to respond to Rhode Island¹s current budget crisis, and folks are
worried, rightfully, that some entitlements will be taken away. But if you
pay close attention, you¹ll see that the governor recommends adding one new
service for the citizens of Rhode Island: marriage education.

In his Jan 30 news conference, he spoke of discouraging out-of-wedlock
births while encouraging two-parent families to have healthy relationships,
stating: ³You can set a tone and you try to teach people as to what¹s best.²
Those simple words of common sense should be great news for the people of
Rhode Island. When the state supports healthy marriages, everyone benefits.

There¹s a good reason why marriage support is suddenly on the agenda in
Rhode Island: because the Feds will pay for it. A decade ago, when President
Bill Clinton (and a Republican Congress) passed welfare reform, the law
sought to move control of money from the federal government to the states.
This change in policy was a good thing for most states; they were given the
funds that the Feds would have used to pay for welfare, along with
guidelines about what was to be done with the money.

Most people knew about the ³welfare-to-work² demands of the federal grants
to the states, but few people paid much attention to one of the other goals
of this law: improving the health of marriages. In the first half decade
since the welfare-reform act was passed, only one state, Oklahoma ‹ which
had the highest divorce rate in the nation ‹ channeled this money into
marriage education. In the last two years, eight more states followed suit,
including Texas, Arizona, Georgia, even Ohio and New York. Until now, no
state government in New England has set aside the money for marriage
education.

Our governor now reports he wishes to support healthy marriages. The good
news is that most (if not all) of the funds to pay for these programs will
come from federal money already allocated for Rhode Islanders to use for
this purpose. This is a great opportunity for the state, and we ought to
take it.

Does marriage matter?

As we forge ahead into the new millennium, some people may believe that
there¹s no place for supporting marriage. They may consider marriage an
antiquated idea. There are so many forms of connections, they say, why
should we be thinking about giving special recognition to this one
particular mode of bonding?

The answer is simple: marriage is the only social arrangement that
statistically 1) improves the health and well being of children, and 2)
decreases the poverty of adults and children. You¹ll note I use the word
³statistically,² because there are many children ‹ 60 percent, according to
the 2000 Census ‹ growing up in homes without both of their biological
parents, and many of these children live rich and full lives.

Moreover, there are, no doubt, more than a few children who reside with both
parents, yet live in destitution. But according to the ³Fragile Families and
Child Well-Being Study² (2003), when two parents choose not to marry or stay
married, the chance of a child¹s living in poverty increases three-fold.
Poverty isn¹t the only unintended consequence of divorce for children; the
risk of teen pregnancy, emotional problems, substance abuse, school truancy
and dropping out increase 2 1/2-fold once parents split apart.

Kids who are raised by married parents are two-thirds less likely to be
victims of crime or incarcerated for committing a crime. Through their
behavior, often through their words, our children are telling us that
growing up without their two biological parents takes its toll. But sadly,
kids can¹t make parents marry, or stay married; only their parents can. Not
only does marriage protect children, it tends to make life better for adults
too. Joining ‹ and staying joined ‹ together in matrimony not only increases
health and wealth, it actually reduces the incidence of domestic violence,
mental illness, substance abuse and premature deaths of the individuals in
the marriage. Marriage education is not about forcing people to marry who
don¹t wish to do so. It¹s about giving couples access to learn how to make a
relationship work.

Studies show that most individuals ‹ even individuals in poverty or of
minority status ‹ say that they believe in marriage, and wish it for
themselves. Many marriages start out great, but just don¹t meet
expectations. For some individuals, marital problems arise because they
don¹t have good role models of how to have a happy union. Some just don¹t
know where to go for help when relationship problems arise.

If these men and women knew how to have great marriages, they¹d be much more
likely to take the plunge, or, if already wed, find support to keep their
marriage thriving. If government programs are set up to help support
healthy, happy and stable marriages with effective researched-based
programs, then we all get more of what we are looking for, and our children
‹ and the future of the state ‹ would be better off for it.

The governor recognizes how healthy marriages help children and the
community as a whole. When it comes to having our legislature support
marriage education, let¹s insist that they say: ³I do!²

Scott Haltzman, M.D., is a clinical assistant in the Brown Medical School¹s
Department of Psychiatry and Human Behavior and medical director of NRI
Community Services, in Woonsocket. He is author of The Secrets of Happily
Married Men: Eight Ways to Win Your Wife¹s Heart Forever AND The Secrets of
Happily Married Women: How to Get More Out of Your Relationship by Doing
Less. 

Contact Scott at: shaltzman at msn.com  - especially if you live in Rhode
Island and would like to grab an oar.

To link to the article: http://tinyurl.com/2jyqfs

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