Brochures | Marriage Friendly | Bishop endorses 10 Great Dates!! | Marriage Myths - 2/1/08

Fri Feb 1 12:38:19 EST 2008

- 2008 SMART MARRIAGES BROCHURES NOW POSTED ON THE WEBSITE
- BULK SHIPMENTS
- MARRIAGE FRIENDLY THERAPY
- BISHOP RECOMMENDS 10 GREAT DATES
- MARRIAGE ADVICE YOU CAN IGNORE

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- 2008 SMART MARRIAGES BROCHURES NOW POSTED ON THE WEBSITE

You can now download the complete 2008 San Francisco Conference Brochures
at: http://www.smartmarriages.com/download.brochure.html

HOWEVER, please note that ONLINE REGISTRATION will not be activated until
Feb 15.  ONLINE is better for so many reasons - 1) you save $60 per
registration by registering ONLINE by May 12.  2) Only ONLINE registrants
are entered in a conference registration sweepstakes - ask the 4 lucky
winners in 2007!  3) We don't have to try to read your writing so we get
your workshop  choices, names, addresses correct - saves so many mistakes
and hassles.  

So, download the brochure now and start planning, but don't register until I
send a notice that ONLINE is active.

If you can't download (the 4-color format is more than some printers can
digest) do not fret.  The brochures are at the printer and you should have
yours by the end of the month.

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- BULK SHIPMENTS

If you can distribute brochures in your community, let me know how many and
to what address to ship them.  They're FREE, and no charge to ship them to
you.  Just gratitude for your help in spreading the word.  - diane

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- MARRIAGE FRIENDLY THERAPY
> Today's post on Therapeutic Family Law focuses on how to find pro-marriage,
> pro-commitment, competent marriage therapists, and why it's worth the effort.
> http://therapeuticfamilylaw.blogspot.com/
> B. James Stinson

Visit and post a comment - your chance to weigh in and with the info that
last-ditch couples can attend a marriage education class and have a very
good chance of getting their marriage back on track. Give them this
Directory url that will take them to Retrouvaille, PAIRS, RE, etc:
http://www.smartmarriages.com/directory_browse.html#type_2
 - diane 

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- BISHOP RECOMMENDS 10 GREAT DATES

The Arps will present a Master Mini workshop on their 10 Great Dates Program
in San Francisco and Rozario and Angie Slack will present a workshop on 10
Great Dates for Black Couples.

Bishop Shamana recommends "10 Great Dates"
United Methodists 
California-Nevada Conference
Bishop Beverly J. Shamana
1/18/2008

Dear Sisters and Brothers in Christ,

Here¹s a New Year¹s Resolution worth keeping. At the beginning of 2008 when
many people are making promises to themselves and to God for real change in
the new year, I want to recommend an outstanding program to enhance the
sparkle, surprise, and sizzle in your marriage or significant relationship.
It¹s called 10 Great Dates, and was created for the church and its
community. What could be a better ³resolution² gift than promising your mate
that you will invest in the growth of your marriage through a fun and easy
series of dates that promises to rev up your communication, sex (yes, I said
sex!), commitment and finances  and reduce stress.  As a church and society
we are wonderful at getting people married and consoling them through
divorce, but giving couples the tools for sustaining a rewarding, life-long
relationship is where we fail.

10 Great Dates was authored by David and Claudia Arp after research with
churches, universities and the military. It was written to reach the masses,
turn around the skyrocketing divorce rate, and bring hope to couples
resigned to dull and boring marriage with no place to turn because of cost,
fear, children and many other factors.

On January 14 I was excited to join David and Claudia at our Rancho Cordova
United Methodist Church to learn how 10 Great Dates fits into the larger
ministry of marriage education. What a funny and endearing couple they were
as they talked openly about the dance of marriage and how many times they¹ve
stepped on each other¹s feet, learned new steps, yet want to keep growing in
their ability to dance well together. The dance floor is but a metaphor of
the marriage relationship but sadly, many couples leave the floor altogether
before the tune is over.

The larger picture of marriage education is managed under the California
Healthy Marriages Coalition, staffed by Carolyn Curtis in Sacramento with a
staff that includes the Revs. Colin and Kathy Kerr-Carpenter as co-managers
of the Northern California Healthy Marriages Project.

I heartily recommend that you make your church a welcoming site for the 10
Great Dates series. My husband, Walter, and I road-tested the book and DVD
around our kitchen table and are committed to doing the full ten dates in
2008 as we continue to grow together in our marriage. The uniqueness of this
series is that it is not a shame or blame, or counseling program. Rather it
sets the stage for couples at any season of their married life, to spend a
90 minute date together each week with ten topics to jump-start their
sharing, from ³Choosing a High Priority Marriage² to ³Building a Creative
Love Life.² All you need are four or more couples willing to meet for a few
instructions and a short DVD, with a willingness to go wherever they choose
to have fun together with prompts from the book. There¹s no reporting back,
or hard rules to follow. The church provides child care for couples who need
it and waits to see the glow and warmth between them when they return to
pick up their kids. There is an African American edition, and Spanish and
Korean language versions.

So what are you doing Friday night? Beginning February 7, the start of
National Marriage Week, you could reach out to your community and
congregation by sponsoring 10 Great Dates as a witness that the church still
believes that Jesus came to bring new life to marriage, the family and
community. The tools in this program are an excellent step forward.

How about helping your church celebrate the benefits of marriage and
relationship skills training? Churches currently involved in 10 Great Dates
are First UMC in Sacramento, Rancho Cordova UMC, South Reno UMC, and Loomis
UMC. Rev. Ted Virts serves as an advisory consultant of the Healthy Marriage
Project. www.marriagealive.com is a resource for learning more about 10
Great Dates.
Your Sister and Bishop in Christ,
Beverly J. Shamana
http://www.cnumc.org/news_detail.asp?pkvalue=466
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- MARRIAGE ADVICE YOU CAN IGNORE

>  'Don't fight in front of the kids' and other advice you can ignore from
Parenting.com - some of the wisdom:
>     * Having a baby is a bonding experience, but it's also hard on a
> relationship
>     * It's not realistic to expect your life partner to be your best friend
> too

For the full piece:
http://tinyurl.com/2nmdjs
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12th Annual Smart Marriages® Conference, Hilton San Francisco Hotel,
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Pre-Conference Training Institutes June 30-July 2
Post-Conference Training Institutes July 6

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