Your Heartfelt Political Reactions / Cancer / Forgiveness - 12/19/08

Fri Dec 19 12:58:45 EST 2008

- DON'T UNSUBSCRIBE: IT ALL EVENS OUT IN THE END
- MARRIAGE AND BREAST CANCER
- PLEASE HELP DEVELOP A MARRIAGE FORGIVENESS TOOL

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- DON'T UNSUBSCRIBE: IT ALL EVENS OUT IN THE END

> Dear Diane,
> I just wanted to tell you how much I really appreciate the Smart Marriages
> newslist and the way you do your best to support all sides of an issue (while
> trying to 'keep the peace' among us).  There are very few places on the
> Internet or in real life that Liberals and Conservatives get together to
> support a cause.  For instance, I would NEVER have gone to Heritage or any
> other conservative site to read that Robert Rector article.  There are very
> few times we Liberals and Conservatives interact in a positive way like we do
> in Smart Marriages.  This is such a special group.
> Melodie

Yes, as I say at every conference, this is a true COALITION.  We hang our
Conservative or Liberal ideologies at the door and work side-by-side to row
the marriage education boat. And, the reality is that it makes sense:
Conservatives and Liberals each have to deal with family breakdown and
divorce - in their work, in their congregations, in their families.

But, as *coalitioned up* as we might be, I have to admit that I've received
many upset and heartfelt emails lately - from both sides of the aisle. Some
apologize for writing, saying they simply have to *vent*.  Liberals write
very UPSET by the Gersten and Rector posts that *imply that the Obama
administration is going to be anti-marriage*. And, several Conservatives
have been so upset that they've had to unsubscribe but want to tell me why:
*because they don't trust Obama and are sick of so many posts saying Obama
will do anything positive for marriage.*

I suspect many of these folks have not attended a conference and don't
realize that the Marriage Education movement is a very large tent and that
we have been able to work together through Democratic and Republican
administrations.  Administrations come and go.  We keep rowing.

Don't unsubscribe. Grab an oar.  You never know who your son or daughter
might marry.  They might reach across the aisle.  This list is good practice
for when you have to eat Thanksgiving dinner with people that don't agree
with you  on everything.    - diane

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- MARRIAGE AND BREAST CANCER

And, to inspire our work.......another reason to try to achieve peace in the
home.  - d

Marital Distress May Affect Breast Cancer Recovery
The Washington Post
December 18, 2008

THURSDAY, Dec. 18 (HealthDay News) -- Marriage problems are associated with
poorer outcomes for women with breast cancer, a new U.S. study finds.

The researchers found that women in troubled marriages had higher levels of
stress, less physical activity, slower recovery and more symptoms and signs
of illness than women who reported good marriages. The research involved 100
women who were married or living with a partner at the start of the study
and remained in the relationship during the five years of follow-up.

The findings were published online and will appear in a future print issue
of Cancer.

The benefits for women in good marriages held true even after the
researchers adjusted for the participants' depression levels, cancer stage,
treatment and other factors that could have an influence.

"The quality of the marital relationship may not be the first thing women
worry about when they get a cancer diagnosis. But it may have a significant
impact on how they cope physically and emotionally," study co-author
Hae-Chung Yang, a research associate in psychology at Ohio State University,
said in a university news release. "Our results suggest that the increases
in stress and other problems that come with a distressed marital
relationship can have real health consequences and lead to poorer recovery
from cancer."

Of the 100 women in the study, 72 reported having good marriages and 28
reported distressed marriages. At the start of the study, all the women had
high and nearly equal levels of cancer-related stress.

"When you're diagnosed, that's devastating for everyone, regardless of the
quality of your marriage," Yang said. "But women in good marriages saw
steady reductions in their cancer-related stress, while women in distressed
marriages had a much slower recovery."

As in previous studies, this one found that most women don't see a change in
the quality of their marriage after they've been diagnosed with cancer.

"Whether you have a good or bad relationship before being diagnosed with
cancer, that is not likely to change afterwards," Yang said.

"Clearly, marital distress is a risk factor for numerous poorer outcomes,
and it is never too late to work to improve your marriage, not only for your
emotional well-being but also for your health," she added.

SOURCE: Ohio State University, news release, Dec. 8, 2008
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- PLEASE HELP DEVELOP A MARRIAGE FORGIVENESS TOOL

Easy to see how work on Forgiveness can help with work on healing from
Cancer (or, politics).  A wonderful way to help row this boat to shore.....
People often ask me how they can help.....here's a way to give15 mins of
your time to help advance the field. Plus you might learns something just
from reflecting on the questions.  Here deadline is Jan 5th. - diane

Dear potential SURVEY participant,

I am a doctoral student and need your help on a survey to validate a new
scale that will be used to understand forgiveness in married couples.

Requirements for participation:
1.      MARRIED 
2.      BOTH spouses need to participate. Each spouse may participate
independently. Couples will be matched based on a basic identifier such as
their wedding anniversary.

I am under the advisement and guidance of my dissertation committee who
include: Dr. James Sells, Dr. Elisabeth Suarez, and Dr. Gary Oliver.

To participate in the online, anonymous survey which takes 10-15 mins,
visit: 
http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=20CXcne5haLTSidMg4d1QA_3d_3d.

All surveys must be completed by Jan 5.  Because of this deadline I ask that
you forward this to any lists or anyone who might be willing to help.

Kristi Russell Mouttet
PhD Candidate
Regent University
School of Psychology and Counseling
Questions: krismou at regent.edu

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