Flyer / Demise of Dating / Funding for Marriage Scholars - 12/19/08

Fri Dec 19 12:27:07 EST 2008

- THE LINK TO THE SMART MARRIAGES FLYER & COVER
- THE DEMISE OF DATING
- FUNDING OPPORTUNITY FOR MARRIAGE SCHOLARS

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 - THE LINK TO THE SMART MARRIAGES FLYER & COVER

Oy!  I know some of you found it - the flyer is linked from the
smartmarriages homepage.  But I did intend to include the link:
http://www.smartmarriages.com/uploaded/Flyer.09.ORLANDO.pdf

The brochure cover is now also posted. *Just the cover* to inspire those of
you who are working on ads or conference materials  and to give a warm Fla
sunshine glow to all of us who are huddled around our space heaters:
http://www.smartmarriages.com/uploaded/Cover.Orlando.09.pdf

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- THE DEMISE OF DATING

 I should have saved my Oy.  Oy!

> Under the old model, you dated a few times and, if you really liked the
> person, you might consider having sex. Under the new model, you hook up a few
> times and, if you really like the person, you might consider going on a date.
. . . . 
> The cons center on the issues of gender inequity. Girls get tired of hooking
> up because they want it to lead to a relationship (the guys don¹t), and, as
> they get older, they start to realize that it¹s not a good way to find a
> spouse. 

December 13, 2008 
The New York Times 
Op-Ed Columnist 
The Demise of Dating

By CHARLES M. BLOW

The paradigm has shifted. Dating is dated.. Hooking up is here to stay.
(For those over 30 years old: hooking up is a casual sexual encounter with
no expectation of future emotional commitment. Think of it as a one-night
stand with someone you know.)

According to a report released this spring by Child Trends, a Washington
research group, there are now more high school seniors saying that they
never date than seniors who say that they date frequently. Apparently, it¹s
all about the hookup.

When I first heard about hooking up years ago, I figured that it was a fad
that would soon fizzle. I was wrong. It seems to be becoming the norm.

I should point out that just because more young people seem to be hooking up
instead of dating doesn¹t mean that they¹re having more sex (they¹ve been
having less, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention) or
having sex with strangers (they¹re more likely to hook up with a friend,
according to a 2006 paper in the Journal of Adolescent Research).

To help me understand this phenomenon, I called Kathleen Bogle, a professor
at La Salle University in Philadelphia who has studied hooking up among
college students and is the author of the 2008 book, ³Hooking Up: Sex,
Dating and Relationships on Campus.²

It turns out that everything is the opposite of what I remember. Under the
old model, you dated a few times and, if you really liked the person, you
might consider having sex. Under the new model, you hook up a few times and,
if you really like the person, you might consider going on a date.

I asked her to explain the pros and cons of this strange culture. According
to her, the pros are that hooking up emphasizes group friendships over the
one-pair model of dating, and, therefore, removes the negative stigma from
those who can¹t get a date. As she put it, ³It used to be that if you
couldn¹t get a date, you were a loser.² Now, she said, you just hang out
with your friends and hope that something happens.

The cons center on the issues of gender inequity. Girls get tired of hooking
up because they want it to lead to a relationship (the guys don¹t), and, as
they get older, they start to realize that it¹s not a good way to find a
spouse. Also, there¹s an increased likelihood of sexual assaults because
hooking up is often fueled by alcohol.

That¹s not good. So why is there an increase in hooking up? According to
Professor Bogle, it¹s: the collapse of advanced planning, lopsided gender
ratios on campus, delaying marriage, relaxing values and sheer momentum.

It used to be that ³you were trained your whole life to date,² said Ms.
Bogle. ³Now we¹ve lost that ability ‹ the ability to just ask someone out
and get to know them.²

Now that¹s sad. 

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- FUNDING OPPORTUNITY FOR MARRIAGE SCHOLARS

The National Center for Marriage Research's annual small grants competition
is now open.  See the message and link below.  Given the events of the past
several months, the grants will focus on the relationship between financial
strain and family structure and function. Applicants must have a PhD in a
social science discipline. Preference will be given to untenured scholars
with full-time academic appointments.
________________________________

From: National Center for Marriage Research [mailto:ncmr at bgsu.edu]
Sent: Wednesday, December 17, 2008 2:49 PM
To: Burnszynski, Jennifer (HHS/ASPE)
Subject: Funding opportunity: Families and Financial Instability

Greetings!

The National Center for Marriage Research 2009 Grant Competition:
Families and Financial Instability

The National Center for Marriage Research (NCMR) seeks to fund up to
four proposals ($20,000 per award) to support innovative research that
contributes to theoretical, conceptual, methodological, or empirical
developments about family responses to financial strain. A large body of
research indicates that marital and family behavior is related to
economic circumstances. For instance, men and women with positive
economic prospects are more likely to marry and stay married than their
disadvantaged counterparts. However, the current economic climate calls
for further research on the familial consequences of economic
uncertainty.  

Financial instability encompasses several domains, including employment,
income, or poverty; food or housing insecurity; asset accumulation;
consumption patterns; and public assistance usage. Economic factors may
affect family structure and processes as well as individual well-being
and these outcomes are likely to vary across the life course and among
subgroups of the population. Projects may use qualitative or
quantitative data. Those that employ innovative methodological
approaches, new measurement development, or novel conceptual frameworks
are especially desirable.

Application deadline: February 1, 2009

Call 419-372-4910 or Visit our web page for full details and application
instructions. <http://ncmr.bgsu.edu/opportunities.html>

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