Cohabitation on the front burner - 12/18/08

[Smartmarriages]

- LIVING WITH COHABITATION
- TWO-PARENT BLACK FAMILIES SHOWING GAINS: NYTIMES
- RECTOR: OBAMA TO DEEP SIX MARRIAGE, PROMOTE COHABITATION
- DOES MARRIAGE STILL MATTER?
- STOP THE PRESSES! MARRIAGE BENEFITS CHILDREN!

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- LIVING WITH COHABITATION

Scott Stanley and Galena Rhoades will present comprehensive new findings
from cohabitation studies at their Living with Cohabitation keynote in
Orlando to equip us with tools to address what Barbara Dafoe Whitehead (also
a keynoter in Orlando) calls "cultural cluelessness" (see last article in
today's post).  There were a flurry of Cohabitation articles
today.......interesting reading.  Hmmmmm.....   - diane

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- TWO-PARENT BLACK FAMILIES SHOWING GAINS: NYTIMES

Two-Parent Black Families Showing Gains
The New York Times
By SAM ROBERTS
December 17, 2008

Note: the trend appears to be explained by a new category: ³living with both
parents, not married to each other²  - this is not an increase in married
two-parent families.  - diane

The number of black children being raised by two parents appears to be
edging higher than at any time in a generation, at nearly 40 percent,
according to newly released census data.

Demographers said such a trend might be partly attributable to the growing
proportion of immigrants in the nation¹s black population. It may have been
driven, too, by the values of an emerging black middle class, a trend that
could be jeopardized by the current economic meltdown.

The Census Bureau attributed an indeterminate amount of the increase to
revised definitions adopted in 2007, which identify as parents any man and
woman living together, whether or not they are married or the child¹s
biological parents.

According to the bureau¹s estimates, the number of black children living
with two parents was 59 percent in 1970, falling to 42 percent in 1980, 38
percent in 1990 and 35 percent in 2004. In 2007, the latest year for which
data is available, it was 40 percent.

For non-Hispanic whites, the figure in 2007 was 77 percent, down from 90
percent in 1970.

While expressing skepticism about an increase so large in such a short time
in the number of black children living with two parents, a number of experts
said the shift was potentially significant.

³It¹s a positive change,² said Prof. Robert J. Sampson, the chairman of
Harvard¹s sociology department. ³It¹s been hidden.²

The 2007 figure, itself, was more or less hidden among the nearly 1,400
tables in the 2009 Statistical Abstract of the United States, a
portrait-by-numbers of the nation released Tuesday by the Census Bureau.

Andrew J. Cherlin, a sociology professor at Johns Hopkins University, said
that before 2007, a child living with two unmarried parents was usually
classified as living with either a mother or a father, depending on who was
the head of the household.

³The unmarried parent was invisible,² Professor Cherlin said. Given a new
category, ³living with both parents, not married to each other,² he added,
³I think the news is that the Census Bureau estimates that about 3 percent
of American children are living with two unmarried parents. Because of the
increases in living-together relationships, this is probably a higher figure
than a generation ago.²

Other experts generally embraced the direction of the statistics, if not the
dimension of the changes they suggest.

³What we might be seeing is more cohabitation,² said Kay S. Hymowitz, a
scholar at the Manhattan Institute, a research group.

Douglas S. Massey, a sociology professor at Princeton, cautioned that ³a bad
economy does not make for stable marriages, so it is possible that we may
see a reversal in 2008.²

Professors Massey and Sampson recently edited a retrospective for the annals
of the American Academy of Political and Social Science on Daniel Patrick
Moynihan¹s seminal study of the black family.

One contributor, Frank F. Furstenberg, a sociology professor at the
University of Pennsylvania, cites converging trends of single motherhood by
race, with the number of non-Hispanic white children living with two parents
declining over a generation.

³These racial differences have waned as a growing number of black women have
begun to exercise greater control over their fertility,² Professor
Furstenberg writes, ³and as white women have started to experience the same
sorts of constraints that blacks were feeling about their prospects of
forming a lasting marriage when Moynihan focused on their plight.²

Among other facts, the Statistical Abstract reveals that West Virginia is
the only state in which more people have died since 2000 than have been
born; more Burmese were granted asylum than people from any other country;
more people speak Italian at home than Arabic; beds injure more people than
bicycles; per capita consumption of tea has surpassed that of fruit juice;
enrollment of college students from Saudi Arabia and Iran has returned to
the levels before the terrorist attacks of Sept. 11, 2001.

Also, women make up a majority of pharmacists, bartenders and bus drivers
and nearly half the medical students granted degrees; bottled water
consumption is up at the same time that per capita water use nationally is
down; 91 percent of the nearly 12 million surgical and other cosmetic
procedures performed in 2007 involved women; consumer complaints against
airlines soared to 10,960 last year from 6,452 the year before. Among
adults, Jews no longer outnumber Mormons; 57 percent of teenage girls
reported having sexual contact in the previous 12 months.

Americans are spending more on prescription drugs ($259 billion in 2007,
compared with $72 billion in 1995); the number of people living on the
Atlantic Coast of Florida has risen 13 percent since 2000; gambling revenue
at American Indian sites nearly doubled to $26 billion since 2002; nearly
half of Americans under age 5 are Hispanic or nonwhite; the number of people
75 and over has doubled since 1980 to 18 million; only 5.5 percent of
workers age 16 to 24 are represented by unions.

The Statistical Abstract includes a wealth of data from the Census Bureau
and other sources. Most of it had been previously released, but not
necessarily in context or in such an accessible format.


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- RECTOR: OBAMA TO DEEP SIX MARRIAGE, PROMOTE COHABITATION
The Foundry
Heritage.Org
Robert Rector
Dec 18, 2008 

Being raised by two married biological parents has considerable benefits for
a child. By contrast, simple cohabitation by biological parents is highly
unstable and does not deliver significant long-term benefits. On the other
hand, sequential cohabitation by single mothers with men unrelated to the
child can actually prove harmful to children. Unfortunately, it is the
latter type of cohabitation that is celebrated in the New York Times article
(above).

Actual marriage between biological parents continues to decline. In 2006,
38.5% of all children born in the U.S. were born out-of-wedlock, up from 28%
in 1990. In 2006, the out-of-wedlock birth rate among blacks was 70.7%,
among Hispanics, 49.9% and among non-Hispanic whites, 26.6%.

The American left has traditionally regarded marriage as an imprisoning
institution that makes women neurotic. Most women and children are seen as
better off when freed from its shackles. Thus the left has watched the
steady decline of marriage with indifference or quiet satisfaction. This
scornful attitude persists despite the overwhelming evidence that the
decline of marriage is the principal cause of child poverty and welfare
dependence and is linked to a vast array of other social problems.

The Obama administration will almost certainly persist in this anti-marriage
attitude despite occasional lip service to the contrary. For example, in
keeping with the ongoing liberal saga of ³defining deviance down², the Obama
team apparently plans to abolish the miniscule ³black healthy marriage
initiative² created by the Bush administration inside HHS and replace it
with a ³healthy families² program resting on the tired false premise that
single parenthood, cohabitation, and marriage are interchangeable and all of
equal value to children, adults and society. Further erosion of marriage
within low income communities can be expected.
http://tinyurl.com/3n4zye

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- DOES MARRIAGE STILL MATTER?

> Such misperception is at the heart of new findings that Smock presented at a
> meeting in Stockholm of the International Institute of Sociology.
> 
> "In focus groups, women perceive cohabitation as a step before marriage to
> that partner, whereas men are tending to see cohabitation as something to do
> BEFORE YOU MAKE A COMMITMENT," she says. No group is more supportive of living
> together -- despite evidence that four out of five couples who begin
> cohabiting will NOT build a lasting marriage -- than the young. While 90
> percent of teenagers believe in marriage, they view cohabitation as a
> stepping-stone in the relationship -- a good way to get know their partner and
> avoid a future divorce.  . . .  The evidence, however, suggests just the
> opposite. Premarital cohabitation tends to be associated with lower marital
> quality and to increase the risk of divorce, even after taking into account
> variables known to be associated with divorce. ... The degree of consensus
> about this central finding is impressive."

Does marriage still matter?
Port Clinton News Herald
Dec 18, 2008 

Cohabitation, by definition, is two unmarried people of the opposite sex
living together. An alternative definition is two roommates who are romantic
partners and share living space and all the responsibilities that go with it
without a formal, legal commitment. It has been called by various terms,
such as "living together," "shacking up," "serial monogamy"or "living in
sin." It is a halfway house for people who do not want the degree of
personal and social commitment that marriage represents, at least for now.

The numbers have now risen to nearly 5 million. Between 1960 and 2004, the
number of unmarried couples in America increased by more than 1,200 percent.
We are seeing a massive cultural change where romantic love and courtship
has given way to a new alternative. We are entering a period of "cultural
cluelessness" as Rutgers sociologist Barbara Dafoe Whitehead explains. "Most
societies have had a script and young adults have been guided through that
script," she says. "And now the script is being so radically revised that
nobody knows what it is anymore or people have torn it up."

The benefits of living together unmarried, as told by those engaging in the
practice, include the sharing of expenses while keeping money separate, the
availability of sex without strings, no legal entanglements and avoiding the
pain and stigma of divorce and the lack of obligations or nagging.

In some sense, cohabitation is replacing dating, says Pamela Smock, an
associate professor of sociology at the University of Michigan. She's among
researchers who are bringing attention to a living arrangement that is
almost a foregone conclusion for many singles. Such misperception is at the
heart of new findings that Smock presented at a meeting in Stockholm of the
International Institute of Sociology.

"In focus groups, women perceive cohabitation as a step before marriage to
that partner, whereas men are tending to see cohabitation as something to do
before you make a commitment," she says. No group is more supportive of
living together -- despite evidence that four out of five couples who begin
cohabiting will not build a lasting marriage -- than the young. While 90
percent of teenagers believe in marriage, they view cohabitation as a
stepping-stone in the relationship -- a good way to get know their partner
and avoid a future divorce. Sixty-nine percent say they approve of couples
living together before they get married. They say, "If things don't work
out, we can chalk it up to experience and move on. At least we will have
learned something about ourselves and marriage." She also said, "Common
sense suggests that premarital cohabitation should provide an opportunity
for couples to learn about each other, strengthen their bonds, and increase
their chances for a successful marriage. ... The evidence, however, suggests
just the opposite. Premarital cohabitation tends to be associated with lower
marital quality and to increase the risk of divorce, even after taking into
account of variables known to be associated with divorce. ... The degree of
consensus about this central finding is impressive."

Despite this rise in cohabitation, divorce and unwed parenthood, marriage
remains a core value and aspiration of most people. When it comes to life
goals, 93 percent of Americans put marriage at the top of their list in a
1990 survey.

What has changed the culture so dramatically? The Sexual Revolution. When
the birth control pill was introduced, the perceived dangers of premarital
sex were lessened and the era of "free love" was ushered in. Premarital
sexual activity brought less of a stigma; it actually became a badge of
honor and a sign of modernity. Eventually sex without the bonds of marriage
became accepted as the norm. The "Playboy Philosophy," popularized by Hugh
Hefner, promoted consensual sex anywhere, anytime, with anyone.
Civilizations, like most other structures, are constructed piece by piece.
Marriage is the basic building block of the family. The family is the
building block of the community. The community is the building block of the
city. The city is the building block of the state or province. The state or
province is the building block of the nation. The nation is the building
block of civilization. If any of these building blocks are faulty, the
entire structure begins to falter and, if not shored up, will eventually
collapse.

Sadly, as the statistics cited above show, the cracks that started to appear
in earnest a generation ago are steadily widening. Crime, poverty, drug and
alcohol abuse, sexual perversion and child abuse are some of the bitter
fruits we're reaping. No community, nation or civilization can survive if
such problems continue to worsen. A generation has been brought up on the
idea that absolute good and evil don't exist and that the only real immoral
thing is to suggest that someone else is living the wrong way and that his
actions will cause harm to himself and others in the long run.

Thus the traditional family modeled in classic TV programs like "Father
Knows Best" and "Ozzie and Harriet" is out and "Sex and the City" is in.
Movies, TV and music undermine marriage but push promiscuity, assaulting the
very foundations of society.

What do men and women really want in a relationship? I believe we want to be
loved the way God designed it -- committed in marriage, faithful until death
us do part, and to love, honor and cherish all the years of our lives.

-- Sherry Sprouse
Executive Director, Heartbeat of Fremont Ohio

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- STOP THE PRESSES! MARRIAGE BENEFITS CHILDREN!
Stop the Presses! Marriage benefits children!
Robert Franklin
2008-12-17 

Writing in Volume 42 of the San Diego Law Review in 2005, then-University of
Maryland law professor and feminist Robin Fretwell Wilson gave a masterful
summary of existing social science data on the effects of marriage on
children. And the data are clear - marriage is good for children.
[http://www.smartmarriages.com/uploaded/Evlauating.Marriage.Wilson.pdf] . .
. 

Children of married couples are, on average, less likely to engage in
delinquent behavior, less likely to be suspended or expelled from school and
are more likely to go to college than are their peers without married
parents.

The data go on to point out why children of married parents have better
outcomes; married fathers are more involved in their children's lives than
are co-habiting fathers. "Obviously, marriage is differentiating the
investment fathers make in their children," and this is true "above and
beyond the characteristics of the fathers themselves."

In other words, the fact of marriage does not by itself select better
fathers, it makes fathers better. And as we know from voluminous other data,
children with engaged fathers have better outcomes across the board than do
their fatherless peers.

Non-married relationships tend to be brief, with 90% lasting less than five
years. During that time, children are worried about the tenuous nature of
the adults' relationship. And, since a father's relationship with his child
is "coterminus" with his relationship with the child's mother, his
emotional, psychological, financial and other investments in the child are
heavily dependent on whether he's married to her or not.

So what, if anything, should states do to promote marriage? Direct subsidies
seem pointless and likely to fail because they encourage marriage by people
who shouldn't marry and for the wrong reasons. But educating couples about
the value of marriage to children and teaching couples the skills required
to form and sustain healthy marriages? Now that's something states can and
should do. As Wilson writes, "By supporting marriage, the state is
supporting children."

This is another huge set of data supporting fathers' engagement with their
children and rebutting the long-held assumptions that marriage is optional
and divorce is an adult's free choice. Neither is true. Fathers' rights and
children's welfare are intimately intertwined.

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