Ask the Kids / Obama Culture Change - 12/ 17/08

Smartmarriages smartmarriages at lists101.his.com
Wed Dec 17 15:11:27 EST 2008




- WHAT CHILDREN WANT MOST IS A BAN ON DIVORCE
- THE GOOD OBAMA CAN DO


More stuff for those of you who are writing to the Transition team.

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I know I keep sharing articles from the British press, but I find that they
are doing really interesting work.  I wish our press would replicate this
poll.  Bet we'd get the same results - more grist for the Obama team mill.
- d  


- WHAT CHILDREN WANT MOST IS A BAN ON DIVORCE

What children want most is a ban on divorce, says poll
A ban on divorce is what most children would introduce if they ruled the
world, according to a poll.

By Alastair Jamieson
UK Telegraph 
Dec 14, 2008

Marital splits were also named the second-worst thing in the world in the
survey of under-10s, behind being fat.

The annual survey of 1,600 youngsters found X Factor judge Simon Cowell was
more famous than God or Her Majesty the Queen and that the very best things
in the world are 'good looks'.

Asked what rules they would make if they were king or queen of the world,
most children replied they would ban divorce ­ the first time it has come at
the top of the list.

Bullying would also be banned and has risen to the number two slot from
number three last year and number five the year before.

Around two thirds of the children who took part said they were happy, but 27
per cent were not and a further seven per cent were unsure.

Over 80 per cent of the children questioned thought they would probably
marry when they grow up although 17 per cent gave a definite "no" on the
subject.

Sixty six per cent wanted to have children, with most of them stopping at
one or two. Nearly one third were unsure about becoming parents.

Saturday remains the best day of the week for most, because there is no
school and they can stay up late to watch television.

Nearly all of those surveyed had a best friend who was kind, but many said
they were in love - the number two reason for having a best friend this
year, rising from number five last year and seven the year before.

Being fat topped the list of worst things in the world, rising from number
three last year. It was number nine in 2006, but was not featured in the
2005 list.

The nationwide research was carried out by Luton First, sponsors and
organisers of the fourth annual National Kids' Day.

Patricia Murchie, of Luton First, said: "It seems clear that many pre-teens
are more concerned than ever with their looks and weight - possibly
reflecting media images of glamour, and new educational initiatives in
nutrition and healthy eating."

She said: "This particular age group has some very clear ideas on how the
world could be changed for the better, but are very rarely given the
opportunity to express them."

http://tinyurl.com/5bldfe

#################################
- THE GOOD OBAMA CAN DO

I know I'm beating this one into the ground, but can't help sharing articles
that make our point.  And, this one is pretty pointed in concluding: "If
Obama is able to achieve that cultural shift [to reestablishing marriage as
the desirable cultural norm], it would be THE MOST IMPORTANT AND
FAR-REACHING THING HE DOES."  - diane

The Good Obama Can Do
Townhall.com
Mona Charen
Dec 18, 2008

 At the Early Reading First Project of the University of Illinois, they are
hoping that Barack Obama will publicize the titles of the books he reads to
his daughters. Such is the fascination with the new first family, the
program's leaders tell the Chicago Tribune, that they can imagine children's
books flying off the shelves, Oprah-like, with each Obama endorsement.

In fact, Barack Obama is in a position to affect far more than book
purchases. He could have an effect on the culture of marriage in America.

The data are familiar. More than one-third of American children are born out
of wedlock (two-thirds for black kids) and divorce plays havoc with
children's security. Some 40 percent will spend some time in a cohabiting
family arrangement before their 16th birthdays. Stepfamilies, as medieval
fables suggested, are not as safe or secure for children as the nuclear
family of two married parents. Rates of child abuse and neglect are far
higher in stepfamilies than in nuclear families. Children born out of
wedlock and children of divorce fare far worse on a range of social
indicators than children raised in intact families. They have higher rates
of school failure, drug use, depression, teen pregnancy, trouble with the
law, violence, and poor health than do children raised by two parents. The
really high-achieving kids in our society -- like those who attend top
colleges -- are very disproportionately from intact families. Kay Hymowitz's
book "Marriage and Caste in America" describes in detail the growing
"marriage gap" in America. Upper middle and upper class women wait until
marriage to start their families. The out of wedlock birth rate for
college-educated women is only about 4 percent. On the other hand, poor
women are having more and more children without husbands and they are also
divorcing at much higher rates.

Thirty-six percent of female-headed families live below the poverty line.
Only about 6 percent of married-couple families are poor -- and many of
those are recent immigrants, whose poverty may be temporary.

So Michelle and Barack Obama, just by modeling good parenting, have the
capacity to set a great example. A report from the Chicago Tribune suggests
it has started already. "Seven-year-old Ava Childers will soon be
responsible for making her own bed every day. Ava's mother, Danita, got the
idea after hearing that the soon-to-be first daughters ... are required to
make their beds in the morning."

Obama has not shrunk from lecturing his audiences about parenting. Back in
May, at a campaign stop in Gary, Ind., the future president gave his
audience a pretty good harangue:

"Parents, if you don't parent, we can't improve our schools. You've got to
parent. You've got to turn off the television set in your house once in a
while. You've got to put the video game away once in a while. You should
meet with the teacher and find out what the homework is and help that child
with the homework. And if you don't know how to do the homework, don't be
embarrassed, find someone to help you."

Obama is setting a fine example. And good for him. His father walked out on
him. Rather than repeat that destructive pattern, he is doing the opposite.
Is it a total stretch to imagine him lecturing young people about the need
to get married before having babies?

But he can do more than that. He has said that he will continue some of the
faith-based programs that President Bush initiated. He should also maintain
and expand the marriage promotion policies that began under the current
administration. The family, as Jack Kemp has always said, is the best
department of Health and Human Services you can possibly devise. In hard
times, this is more critical than ever. An increased child dependent tax
credit (limited to married parents) would be one step toward the goal of
strengthening families. But the overarching change must be a cultural one --
an unapologetic, unflinching dedication to forming and maintaining married
parent families as the best and most desirable norm for a healthy society.

If Obama is able to achieve that cultural shift, it would be the most
important and far-reaching thing he does.

http://townhall.com/Columnists/MonaCharen/2008/12/16/the_good_obama_can_do


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