Losers / Bring Back Marriage / Social Media/ Mother-in-Law/ Love Dare / Lutheran Course -12/12/08

Fri Dec 12 18:47:41 EST 2008

- COUNTRIES WITH HIGHEST DIVORCE RATE - WE ARE 3RD
- WHAT YOU CAN DO FOR YOUR COUNTRY: BRING BACK MARRIAGE
- GETTING SMART ABOUT SOCIAL MEDIA
- WOMEN HIT HARDER BY MOTHERS-IN-LAW (TENSION, THAT IS)
- THE LOVE DARE 
- THE LUTHERAN MARRIAGE EDUCATION COURSE

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- COUNTRIES WITH HIGHEST DIVORCE RATE - WE ARE 3RD
http://tinyurl.com/6zbruj

I got this on MarriageTweets....did you Tweet today?
http://www.marriagetweets.com/

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- WHAT YOU CAN DO FOR YOUR COUNTRY: BRING BACK MARRIAGE

We don't like being #3!  Let's work our way down to 50, or 100.  One way:
join the Bring Back Marriage Campaign.  Become a Founder.  I sent this last
month, but close date is approaching, so I'll send it again:

> Visit the Bring Back Marriage Campaign and make a donation by Dec 31, 2008 and
> you'll have the satisfaction of not only helping this exciting national
> campaign but you'll also attain FOUNDER status. Put your money where your
> passion is. You can contribute ANY amount and qualify as a founder. I made my
> contribution - join me!
> - diane 
> 
>> A generous $1,000,000 Challenge Grant has been provided to match your gift,
>> dollar-for-dollar, during the Phase I, the Founding Phase. To qualify,
>> donations must be received by the deadline of December 31, 2008.
>> 
>> NOTE: ³Founders² are only those who give any amount during Phase I of the
>> Campaign. 
> 
> https://www.marriagefamilyfoundation.org/make-a-difference/donate-now

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- GETTING SMART ABOUT SOCIAL MEDIA

DID YOU KNOW: It is estimated that there will be 35.3 million US mothers
(with children under 18 in the home) online in 2008?!  The number will reach
39.6 million in 2012. Mothers favor Blogs.  Teens are, of course, also high
internet users but they favor Social Networking Forums - way over Blogs.

Learn how to reach the market at our Social Media workshops, keynotes,
poster sessions, and exhibits in Orlando – how to reach the new wired
generations.  Every penny you spend to get more savvy about the internet –
about SOCIAL MEDIA (that's what it's called) – is marketing money and time
well spent.  - diane

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- WOMEN HIT HARDER BY MOTHERS-IN-LAW (TENSION, THAT IS)

I sent a very brief snip on this study and dozens of you have asked if I had
the link to the the full report.  Here is a link to the Guardian article
that describes the research, author and book: In-law Tensions Hit Women
Hardest: http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2008/nov/30/women-family

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- THE LOVE DARE 

As most of you realize by now, Stephen and Alex Kendrick will be Awards
Luncheon Speakers as part of the Fireproof Marriage Ministries Institute at
the Orlando Smart Marriages Conference. Buy the book now, get it autographed
in Orlando. Everyone is invited - you don't have to attend the Fireproof
Institute to attend the luncheon.  And, just in case there is anyone who
hasn't seen Fireproof by next July, we'll have a free showing at 4pm on Tues
at the hotel which gives you plenty of time to attend the Gary Chapman "Five
Languages of Apology" banquet on Tues night, July 7 at 6:30pm - also
sponsored by the Fireproof Marriage Ministries.  -diane

December 10, 2008
Column #1,424
“The Love Dare” - A Marriage Builder
by Mike McManus

            Brothers Stephen and Alex Kendrick are not just Associate
Pastors at Sherwood Baptist Church in Albany, GA.  They also produced a
popular film, “Fireproof,” whose characters are largely church members, that
has attracted 5 million viewers. It is still in 499 theaters.

            So, it should be no surprise that the brothers have also written
a best-selling book, “The Love Dare,” bought by 1.3 million readers.
However, it is astonishing.

            The subject of the book, like the film, is the fragility of
marriage - and what can be done to strengthen it.  This is a message that
Hollywood never would dream up. It either reduces love to sexuality, or, at
best, has a message to “follow your heart.”

            A pastor has a more elevated conception of love.  He knows the
Bible verse, “the heart is more deceitful than all else” (Jeremiah 17.9).

            The Kendricks dare you to “think differently - choosing instead
to lead your heart toward that which is best in the long run.  This is a key
to lasting, fulfilling relationships,” they write.

            “The Love Dare” was originally simply a plot device in
“Fireproof,” which is about Caleb Holt, a firefighter, who saves victims
from burning buildings, but who can’t save his own marriage.  He feels
helpless in the drift toward divorce, until he gets a call from his father,
who says, “Hold off on the divorce for 40 days,” and gives him “The Love
Dare” book, which outlines a new way Caleb can love his wife on a daily
basis for 40 days.

            When the movie was made, the Kendrick brothers had written only
three of the 40 days.  Sensing that the film would create a demand for the
book, they quickly wrote it.  Each day has three key elements:

            1.  Each begins with an exploration of a unique aspect of love,
designed to challenge the reader in very practical ways to think about what
it means to genuinely love someone.

            2.  Readers are given a specific dare, a challenge to love their
mate in some special way.

            3.  Finally there is space to journal how one responds to the
dare, and then how one’s spouse reacts.  It records progress.

            Unconditional love is always promised at the wedding and is
heartfelt at the time.  However, as marriages are lived, romantic hope is
often replaced with disappointment as each spouse often builds a separate
life.  Spouses tend to be taken for granted and feel neglected, which can
lead to misunderstandings and conflict. Result: half of marriages end in
divorce. 
            However, “The Love Dare” offers husbands and wives a fresh way
to understand and practice unconditional love. “Learning to truly love is
one of the most important things you will ever do,” the brothers write.

            For example, they assert that love is built on two pillars:
patience and kindness.

             “Love is patient.  Love is kind,” begins that most famous of
all passages on love in I Corinthians 13::4. Are you naturally patient? It
requires an act of the will. As they write, “You can choose to have a long
fuse instead of a quick temper. No one likes to be around an impatient
person.”

            The writing is often eloquent: “Patience, however, makes us
wise. It doesn’t rush to judgment but listens to what the other person is
saying...As sure as a lack of patience will turn your home into a war zone,
the practice of patience will foster peace and quiet. `A hot-tempered man
stirs up strife, but the slow to anger calms a dispute,” says Proverbs
14:29.

            “Patience is where love meets wisdom. And every marriage needs
that combination to stay healthy.”

            Their Love Dare on patience recommends, “The next day, resolve
to demonstrate patience and to say nothing negative to your spouse at all.”

            In marriage seminars my wife and I conduct, we go further,
saying, “For every criticism, you need to give ten compliments.”

            While patience sidesteps problems, “kindness is love in action,”
which creates a blessing for the other person. Everyone loves being around a
kind person. The authors see four core ingredients of kindness:

            One is gentleness. A kind person is sensitive, who knows how to
speak the truth in love. Another is helpfulness.  A kind person quickly
meets any perceived need such as housework.

            Another ingredient in kindness is willingness, an agreeable
spirit who looks for ways to compromise and accommodate, rather being
obstinate or stubborn.  Finally, a kind person takes initiative, reaches out
to others, and is the first to forgive.

            “The Love Dare” is an ideal Christmas gift for any married
couple or one considering marriage.

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- THE LUTHERAN MARRIAGE EDUCATION COURSE

I didn't know about this Lutheran Course on Marriage.  That's what's
exciting - new marriage education material appears every day. - diane

St. Paul’s (Lionville, PA) to Offer The Lutheran Course on Marriage

St. Paul’s is trying something new! We are planning a marriage retreat for
February: Friday evening, Feb. 6 and all day Saturday, Feb. 7. We will meet
at an off-site location nearby. To reduce expenses, there will not be an
overnight stay.

The curriculum we will follow is called The Lutheran Course on Marriage,
published in 2006 by the ELCA. This in-depth course includes seven lessons,
with titles such as “Five Noteworthy Things Luther Said About Marriage,”
“How to Keep Christ at the Center of a Marriage,” and “How to Date Your
Spouse and Keep Things Spicy.”

Some of the material is serious, some is humorous. Some has been recorded by
top-notch theologians like Walter Wangerin Jr. and Roland Martinson. Some
will be presented live by Pastor Mark and in small groups facilitated by
trained volunteers.

The Lutheran Course on Marriage was written for couples at all ages and
stages of marriage. This retreat will give St. Paul’s couples a chance to
relax and learn together, and discover new treasures in their relationships
that will strengthen and enrich their lives. Look for a sign-up sheet in the
hallway.

Posted by Don Harting MA, ELS at 5:11 AM

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13th Annual Smart Marriages® Conference, Shingle Creek Resort,
Orlando, Florida, July 6-12, 2009 (General Conference July 8-11)
Pre-Conference Training Institutes July 6-8
Post-Conference Training Institutes July 12

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