Mating Award/ Keynotes! / TANF Call added/ Boomers on the Edge/ Doghouse/Calendars - 12/10/08

Wed Dec 10 17:22:19 EST 2008

- MATING IN CAPTIVITY WINS BOOK AWARD
- AND, SPEAKING OF KEYNOTES
- TANF BRIEFING CALLS
- BOOMERS ON THE EDGE
- THE DOGHOUSE
- FOR YOUR MARRIAGE ?
- MARRIAGE CALENDARS FOR THE HOLIDAYS

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- MATING IN CAPTIVITY WINS BOOK AWARD

Congratulations to Esther Perel who will present a keynote by the same title
for being named the 2009 SSTAR Consumer Book Award recipient for Mating in
Captivity!  Erotic, engaging, provocative......

>  Our committee was very impressed with Mating In Captivity,
>  seeing it as a major contribution to literature written for the public
>  about an important topic in sexuality.  You have addressed the
>  challenge of keeping sex alive and erotic in a committed relationship
>  in a new, provocative, and engaging way.

##########################
- AND, SPEAKING OF KEYNOTES

Keynotes are all set for the Orlando Smart Marriages Conference. I am very
excited about all of them.
Check them out here: http://www.smartmarriages.com/keynotes.html
Institutes are also set: http://www.smartmarraiges.com/institutes.html

Workshops should be announced by the end of the month.
You can still apply for a Poster Session, Exhibit, Ad, to Volunteer.  See
http://www.smartmarriages.com/conferencedetails.html

############################

- TANF BRIEFING CALLS

Chris Gersten reports the response to his invitation to participate in
conference calls was so positive that he's added a third call: 1pm EST Fri,
Dec 19.  

These are calls sponsored by his organization, FAMLI, to brainstorm about
how regions might organize to support the continuation of TANF marriage and
fatherhood funding in the new administration.

To register for the call, start at:  http://www.famli.us

He has posted lists of members of the House Ways and Means Committee, the
Senate Finance Committee, and all the members of the Congressional Black
Caucus(CBC) at the famli.us website.  You might check it out to see who in
your state is listed.

#############################

- BOOMERS ON THE EDGE

> Hey Diane: 
> We have an opportunity to offer marriage and relationship enhancement classes
> to retired persons and their care givers, families, etc. and I am having a bit
> of a tough time finding information. Do you know of anyone on the list who is
> doing something along this line in retirement homes, etc?
> Thanks,
> Jack Cosby
> Director of Marriage Education
> (509) 953-1067 (C)

I strongly encourage you to listen to keynote presentation by Terry
Hargrave, The Challenge of the Decade.  It was powerful and helpful and is
exactly the kind of information you're looking for.  I'd recommend you do a
staff training to master this info from Dr Hargrave and then add it to your
work using any one of the marriage education curricula.

In Challenge of the Decade Dr Hargrave explained:

That we are looking at a new family structure and developmental period for
caregivers with One Primary Caregiver (with both power and responsibility to
execute caregiving) and a Primary Caregiver Support Group (2 to 5 people who
are specifically designated to give respite and care to the caregiver to
ward off the physical, emotional and relational harm that caregiving does).

The spouse of the Primary Caregiver has got to be part of that Primary
Caregiver Support Group.  Mostly females are caregivers so men have to step
up here.  Men have to see caregiving as part of their marital responsibility
in this stage of life.  To stand by and watch the wife go down under the
burden of caregiving or worse yet, accuse her of giving more attention to
caregiving than the marriage is a profound violation of trust.

Females over 80 outnumber men 4 to 1.  Most likely married females will
spend a good deal of their health and emotional energies taking care of
husbands who become ill first.  Teaching caregivers how to emotionally
connect with important things like love, memories, grief of loss and the
intergenerational lessons that come from wisdom INSTEAD OF only focusing on
problem solving for physical health and housing issues makes most sense.

You can spend every bit of energy you have solving problems BUT THE LOVED
OWE WILL STILL DIE.  Better to recognize that not all problems can or need
to be solved and use some of that energy to make the important loving
connections. That kind of energy produces resources and connects couples
involved in the caregiving, even more.

These are just some of the points made.  I strongly encourage anyone working
in a caregiving setting to order the DVD and use it for staff training.
It's also excellent for couples facing this challenge.

You can order The Challenge of the Decade on DVD, CD, or as an MP3 download
800-241-7785 or at http://www.playbacknow.com/cmfce

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- THE DOGHOUSE

> Diane, 
> Check this out.  It's from *the jewelry store at JC Penny* - really funny.  
> Debbie
>  
> Click here: The Doghouse <http://bewareofthedoghouse.com/VideoPage.aspx>

#######################################
- FOR YOUR MARRIAGE ?

Diane, 
I think the search engine for your list archive is broken.  I know you sent
out information on the pamphlets for the Catholic Bishops website. I was
going to order them but now can't find the info.  And I did search the
archive.  Spent a long time and can't find that notice.
Elsie 

You're right!  I just checked and the search engine seems, but not recent
posts.   Here is what you're looking for:

> - WHAT HAVE YOU DONE FOR YOUR MARRIAGE TODAY? GUIDE
> 
> Dear Diane,
> The Catholic bishops have developed an excellent website to support
> couples in their marriages. Of course like many wonderful resources
> the challenge is to drive viewers to the site and encourage them to
> interact with it. My wife Kathy and I have developed a four page guide
> that can be given to married couples that invites them to check out
> the www.foryourmarriage.org site and to submit a response to what they
> find there.  It would be a handy thing for marriage week, because it
> invites the couple to make four different visits to the site where
> they can take a quiz, read a blog, find tips for different marriage
> dilemmas or watch video clips of couples answering the question, "What
> have you done for your marriage today?" We would be happy to share a
> sample of the guide with anyone interested in seeing it. They can
> contact us at foundationseditor at gmail.com.
> Steve and Kathy Beirne

##########################
- MARRIAGE CALENDARS FOR THE HOLIDAYS

Which reminds me to also repeat this one.  Several people have emailed
because they misplaced the info about how to order these calendars - the
perfect holiday gift for marriage activists:

> Here's a great holiday gift - it's beautiful and about marriage and only
> $5!!!  The 2009 Love Nests calendar created by Jennifer Baker and the
> Healthy Marriage Project of Southwest Missouri features 15 married couples,
> many who took a relationship education class. Most of them are young and had
> to overcome some difficulty. See the promotional video that is playing on TV
> stations in Missouri: http://www.operationus.org

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13th Annual Smart Marriages® Conference, Shingle Creek Resort,
Orlando, Florida, July 6-12, 2009 (General Conference July 8-11)
Pre-Conference Training Institutes July 6-8
Post-Conference Training Institutes July 12

Shingle Creek Resort: http://www.rosenshinglecreek.com/

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http://www.smartmarriages.com/conferencedetails.html

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http://www.smartmarriages.com/directory_browse.html

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Diane Sollee, Director
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