Obama Example/ Love Nests/ Church Ministries / High School Ed / Key Questions / Prevention Measure - 12/1/08

Mon Dec 1 22:19:51 EST 2008

- BROCHURE ADS     
- OBAMA MARRIAGE AS INSPIRATION AND EXAMPLE
- LOVE NESTS CALENDAR
- GETTING STARTED IN A CHURCH MARRIAGE MINISTRY
- A MATCH MADE IN HIGH SCHOOL
- RESEARCH REVEALS: KEY QUESTIONS THAT HELP MARRIAGES LAST
- PREVENTION PROGRAMS MEASUREMENT TOOL

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- BROCHURE ADS

Please do not send payment for ads unless you first email to make a
reservation: diane at smartmarriages.com to reserve a space.  Only certain
sizes remain.  

Details here: 
http://www.smartmarriages.com/uploaded/Ads.Call.for.09.website.pdf

- diane 

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- OBAMA MARRIAGE AS EXAMPLE

Barack and Michelle: A more perfect union
MSNBC - USA, Nov 29, 2008
Some experts say that the soon-to-be first couple embody the ideal healthy
relationship, and that they can stir up love around the country....with
people saying, "Wow, I want to be like them!"

> ³Not only does [Barack Obama] love his wife, he respects her,² said Hendricks.
> ³The model of harmony, shared humor and easy communication that the Obamas
> reveal really is a new model ‹ if ordinary citizens practiced this each day,
> our world would transform very quickly in positive directions.²
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/27683815/

AND this: Obamas a fine example of a fine marriage
Wilkes Barre Times-Leader - Wilkes Barre,PA,USA
Nov 30, 2008 
We¹ll never know what¹s really going on in the Obama marriage, but they
present a picture of a strong, healthy partnership that I don¹t think is
being faked ... http://tinyurl.com/6ehs6x

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- LOVE NESTS CALENDAR

Here's a great holiday gift - it's beautiful and about marriage and only
$5!!!  The 2009 Love Nests calendar created by Jennifer Baker and the
Healthy Marriage Project of Southwest Missouri features 15 married couples,
many who took a relationship education class. Most of them are young and had
to overcome some difficulty. See the promotional video that is playing on TV
stations in Missouri: http://www.operationus.org

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-  GETTING STARTED IN A CHURCH MARRIAGE MINISTRY

I've had MANY emails like these from Ralph Johnson and Kim Hagerty in
response to the request for information on how to start up a church-based
marriage ministry
http://tinyurl.com/6q4aeb

As I said, congregation-based marriage education programs are our main
tool.....how we hope to make it to the other shore. There will be a wealth
of "how to" programs at the Smart Marriages Orlando conference both in the
institutes, the workshops, and in the exhibit hall - all anchored by the
Fireproof Marriage Ministries pre & post institutes - diane

> Diane, 
> Thank you for the nice write-up in your newsletter where you shared the St.
> Anthony Messenger Magazine article about our program (
> http://tinyurl.com/57jsxx)  I just want to let you know that your posts  do
> have an effect.  A couple (the Sullivan's) from St. Joseph's Parish in
> Libertyville, IL saw your *getting started* post the the newslist and called
> us the same day, attended a Weekend program here (Albuquerque) a week later
> (stayed in our home), and within 2 days after returning to IL - they activated
> their parish and are starting the program and have ordered the materials.
> Some people are primed and ready to go!  Between your newsletter and St.
> Anthony  distribution of the article, we have had responses from churches in
> CT, PA, KY, SC, IL, NE, and  CA.  God willing, this will help move our
> ministry from regional (Western States) to national.
>  
> Ralph Johnson
> The Marriage Enrichment Weekend Program, Inc.
> http://www.tmewpi.org
--------------------------

> Diane, maybe you could forward this to Lisa McGovern who was looking to start
> a marriage ministry in her church. We have a FREE monthly faith-based marriage
> e-Newsletter for newly married couples and other interested people and she is
> welcome to subscribe to that or add her congregation to the list. We also
> invite your readers to subscribe.  Many of our authors are well-known to the
> Smart Marriages list: Barry McCarthy, Michele Weiner-Davis, Bill Doherty,
> Scott Haltzman, etc. To subscribe:
> http://www.familyministries.org/subscribe.asp.
> Kim Hagerty
> Writer and Editor
> Family Ministries

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- A MATCH MADE IN HIGH SCHOOL

I found another review of the book based on teaching marriage education
classes in high school.  Hope one of you can track this down - we need to
decide if we should support this/invite the author to the conference??
http://tinyurl.com/6ye5qj

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- RESEARCH REVEALS: KEY QUESTIONS THAT HELP MARRIAGES LAST
The London Observer
Nov 30, 2008
Amelia Hill, social affairs correspondent

> Two-thirds of couples had failed to discuss whether they wanted children. This
> was closely followed by failing to make any agreement on how they intended to
> manage their bank accounts, debts and pensions. Bringing up children, in terms
> of education and religion, is another conversational no-go area, as is how the
> couple intend to share domestic chores. There was also little discussion about
> the amount of time each would spend at work or at home, or how much time they
> expected to spend together and apart. . .

> 'Couples are marrying at older ages than ever before and so are coming to
> relationships with firmer ideas and assumptions about what sort of life they
> are going to lead,' said Collins. 'This means couples need to have more skill
> in communicating and a deeper knowledge of each other before deciding they are
> compatible enough to share a future.'

Key questions that help marriages last
Counsellors warn of dangers ahead if starry-eyed couples don't discuss their
visions of the future

Couples are getting married, becoming parents and embarking on long-term
relationships without discussing the basics of their shared futures,
research has revealed.

Many do not discuss whether they want children, if they will have a joint
bank account and how they will share out the domestic chores, according to
the study by Marriage Care, a charity that provides relationship counselling
and courses on preparing for marriage.

'Couples are often blind to key differences between them, not just in the
first heady days of romance, but right up until the moment at which those
differences become a real and perhaps insurmountable problem,' said Terry
Prendergast, the charity's chief executive.

Prendergast, who is also chairman of the International Commission on Couple
and Family Relations, added: 'They are not making sure their plans and
dreams for the future are aligned before committing to spend their lives
together.'

Following the study, which involved in-depth interviews with more than 500
counsellors, Marriage Care has drawn up a list of 10 issues that couples are
least likely to have discussed but which could tear a relationship apart if
they later became points of contention.

Prendergast found that while relatively impersonal issues, such as career
ambitions and whether or not they want to live abroad, are likely to be
covered, more intimate and contentious subjects such as children and money
are less likely to have been explored.

Two-thirds of couples had failed to discuss whether they wanted children.
This was closely followed by failing to make any agreement on how they
intended to manage their bank accounts, debts and pensions. Bringing up
children, in terms of education and religion, is another conversational
no-go area, as is how the couple intend to share domestic chores. There was
also little discussion about the amount of time each would spend at work or
at home, or how much time they expected to spend together and apart.

'There is also a great fear of discussing what each person sees as their
partner's bad habits, such as snoring, addictions and irritating behaviour,'
said Joe Hannion, a relationship counsellor since 1986. 'And in an omission
that will surely only make matters worse, very few couples have talked about
what they will do when they disagree with each other. Nor how they will
communicate and talk about difficult issues regarding their relationship and
sex.

'Couples are often quite starry-eyed about their expectations of married
life and unwilling to admit to anything which could show their compatibility
for each other to be less than perfect. But for a marriage to succeed, it is
vital to know the relationship's weaknesses as well as its strengths from
early on.'

Bridie Collins, head of relationship and marriage education at Marriage
Care, asks couples to complete a 156-point 'self-diagnostic inventory'
detailing their hopes and ambitions. It also touches on more confrontational
issues, such as 'I am concerned that my partner spends money foolishly' or
'I have at times been fearful that my partner will cause me harm'.

'Couples are marrying at older ages than ever before and so are coming to
relationships with firmer ideas and assumptions about what sort of life they
are going to lead,' said Collins. 'This means couples need to have more
skill in communicating and a deeper knowledge of each other before deciding
they are compatible enough to share a future.'

 © Guardian News and Media Limited 2008

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- PREVENTION PROGRAMS MEASUREMENT TOOL

Webinar on The Protective Factors Survey: A Tool for Prevention Programs to
Measure Change
Mon, Dec 8, 2008, 3:00-4:00 PM EST
Join the FRIENDS National Resource Center and the Institute for Educational
Research and Public Service at the University of Kansas to learn more about
The Protective Factors Survey (PFS), a tool for prevention programs to
measure change. The PFS is a pre-post evaluation tool for use with
caregivers receiving child maltreatment prevention services. This tool, with
established reliability and validity, is in the public domain. The PFS is a
self-administered survey that measures protective factors in five areas:
family functioning/resiliency, social support, concrete support, nurturing
and attachment, and knowledge of parenting/child development. The fourth
field-test of the tool was completed in September 2008. This webinar will be
the first time phase 4 field-test results will be disseminated. This webinar
will cover: the development of the PFS, PFS field testing procedures and
findings, how to use the survey and the database, one state's experience
using the PFS, and interpreting your findings. Space is limited; register
online. After registering, you will receive a confirmation email containing
information about joining the Webinar. If you have any questions or
comments, please email Jean Nussbaum at jean.nussbaum at acf.hhs.gov.
https://www.2gotomeeting.com/register/737736771

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13th Annual Smart Marriages® Conference, Shingle Creek Resort,
Orlando, Florida, July 6-12, 2009 (General Conference July 8-11)
Pre-Conference Training Institutes July 6-8
Post-Conference Training Institutes July 12

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