Census | Alabama | Missouri | TV - 9/19/07

[Smartmarriages]

- CENSUS FINDS THAT IN MARRIAGE: AMERICANS 'TRY, TRY AGAIN'
- MASTERING THE MAGIC OF LOVE IN ALABAMA
- MISSOURI MARRIAGE CONFERENCE, SEPT 27
- JAY MCGRAW (SON OF DR PHIL) CREATOR OF 'DECISION HOUSE'

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- CENSUS FINDS THAT IN MARRIAGE: AMERICANS 'TRY, TRY AGAIN'

Census finds that in love and marriage, Americans 'try, try again'
By Jennifer Barrett
The Salt Lake Tribune
Salt Lake Tribune
Sept 19, 2007

Love and marriage. It's still a beloved American tradition - even if it
takes us a few attempts to get it right, according to a report released
Wednesday by the U.S. Census Bureau.

    The report, drawn from 2004 data, showed that most people make only one
trip down the aisle during their lives. But among those who were once
divorced, more than half of all men and more than 4 in 10 women were
remarried. The median time between divorce and remarriage is about three and
a half years.

    "There's nothing in there [the report] that suggests that we're giving
up on marriage as an institution in our society" as some have speculated is
happening, said Alan Hawkins, a professor of family life at Brigham Young
University. "Even if we don't succeed once, we try, try again."

    Key findings of the report said that:

    - 58 percent of women and 54 percent of men had married only once in
their lives.

    - On average, first marriages that end in divorce last about eight
years.

    - Among adults 25 and older who had ever divorced, 52 percent of men and
44 percent of women were currently married.

    - 12 percent of men and 13 percent of women had married twice, and 3
percent of each had been married three or more times.

    - Just over half of married women in 2004 had been married for at least
15 years; 6 percent had made it to the half-century mark.

    Hawkins and Brian Higginbotham, a professor of family development at
Utah State University, said that cohabitation may deserve some of the credit
- or blame - for some of the statistics, affecting both the remarriage and
divorce rate.

    The divorce rate nationally and in Utah hovers at about 41 or 42
percent, a decline from historic highs in the 1980s, said Higginbotham.

    But because more people are living with a romantic partner, both the
remarriage rate and the divorce rate have fallen. About 75 percent of
divorced people will end up cohabiting at some point in their lives, said
Higginbotham.

    "I put less and less stock in the divorce rate. It's not the indicator
[of family disruption] it used to be," said Hawkins.

    One finding that caught Higginbotham's eye was the figure showing
divorced men are more likely to remarry than divorced women. He's not sure
why, but throws out a couple of possibilities.

    Men have the advantage of a wide pool of potential partners. A man in
his 50s can still marry a woman in her 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s and older. A woman
who is 50 is much less likely to find a partner in his 20s or 30s.

    Another stereotype is that men crave regular sex, while women become
less interested as they age. Whether there's any truth to that or not "is
for the biologists to decide," he said.

    The Census report hints at the complicated thing that the American
family has become, with step-parents, half-siblings, cohabiting couples and
traditional marriages.

    "All of those things allow for more diversity in the way we do it.
Still, at the heart and center is a belief that marriage is good for us and
for kids and for society, and is still a part of the American dream," said
Hawkins.

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- MASTERING THE MAGIC OF LOVE IN ALABAMA

[We just confirmed that Mary Ortwein and Rob Scuka will again offer the
three-day Mastering the Magic of Love, Love's Cradle, and RE institute
training in San Francisco.  Leave ready to teach in your community.  For the
Institutes that have been confirmed for SF (more to come), see notes at:
http://www.smartmarriages.com/institutes.html   - diane]

One Place classes help people navigate relationships
TUSCALOOSA NEWS
Sep 15, 2007
By Jamon Smith
Staff Writer

> ³I call taking this class preventable argument maintenance,² McMutlen said.


TUSCALOOSA | As daunting as relationships may sometimes seem, they can
recover and flourish if nurtured properly.

At least that¹s what relationship/marriage educator Perry Hunter and
Tuscaloosa¹s One Place Program Coordinator Stephanie Brewer said during the
sixth of six ³Mastering the Magic of Love² classes held Thursday afternoon.

³Relationships, both intimate and in our workplace, are spillovers,² Hunter
said.

³Your work relationships affect your home relationships and vice versa.²

Brewer added, ³the skills for any relationship are the same.²

³The skills it takes to talk to your co-workers are the same skills you have
to apply to your partner,² she said. ³Our goal is to teach those skills.²

³Mastering the Magic of Love² is one of six relationship improvement classes
Hunter and Brewer teach at Tuscaloosa¹s One Place, an agency that receives
support from the United Way of West Alabama.

The two relationship specialists started teaching the classes in October
2006 when Tuscaloosa¹s One Place received a grant from the Alabama Community
Healthy Marriage Initiative. The grant was given to nonprofit organizations
throughout the state to improve marital and non-marital relationships in
Alabama.

³The goal of the grant is to improve relationships and curb the divorce rate
we have here,² Hunter said.

Hunter said Alabama has the second-highest divorce rate in the country.

³Also, a secondary goal of the grant is to improve children¹s well-being by
improving the relationship between their parents, married or not,² Brewer
added.

To achieve both aims, Hunter and Brewer are teaching the free relationship
classes to children and teens, single and engaged people, married couples,
stepfamilies and unmarried parents.

Newly engaged couple Taylor McMutlen, 22, and Jennifer Moore, 23, said they
learned a lot about relationships in the Mastering the Magic of Love class
they ³graduated² from Thursday afternoon.

Though the couple won¹t be married until April 26 and haven¹t had any
problems yet, they said the class proved useful.

³We thought it would be good to learn some valuable skills to get ready for
marriage,² Moore said.

McMutlen said the class helped him learn how to solve a problem with someone
without arguing.

³I call taking this class preventable argument maintenance,² McMutlen said.

For class photo: 
http://www.tuscaloosanews.com/article/20070915/LATEST/70915030/-1/NEWS03

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- MISSOURI MARRIAGE CONFERENCE, SEPT 27
News Leader
Sept 18, 2007
Marriage conference to be held Sept. 27

The conference called "Building the Foundation for Healthy Marriage and
Family Formation" will be held Thursday, Sept. 27, at James River Assembly
in Ozark.

It is sponsored by the Forest Institute of Professional Psychology in
Springfield, Ozark Marriage Matters, Operation Us and Missouri State
University.

The conference will include breakout sessions and presentations by Marline
Pearson ‹ she developed a curriculum for teens, Love U2, and co-authored the
"Within My Reach" program ‹ and the Rev. George E Young Sr., who worked with
the Oklahoma Marriage Initiative.

Fees vary, with child welfare workers, Head Start family advocates and MSU
social work students admitted free.

To learn more, call 823-3469

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- JAY MCGRAW (SON OF DR PHIL) CREATOR OF 'DECISION HOUSE'

'Divorce Court' judge to reach out to couples sooner on new show
Milwaukee Journal Sentinel
Sept. 17, 2007
Inside TV & Radio
Tim Cuprisin

Judge Lynn Toler has graduated to prime time with the debut of her "reality"
show, "Decision House," on MyNetworkTV.

And she admits she's a little nervous about the move.

"I'm my own worst critic, and I'm always nervous about not doing well, and
if the show fails, I'll feel like a failure, and, you know, nobody enjoys
that," says Toler, who's continuing behind the bench in the daytime "Divorce
Court." "So it is kind of scary."

"Decision House," which launched last week in the 7 p.m. Wednesday slot on
Channel 24, is part of MyNetworkTV's sophomore prime-time lineup focusing on
nonscripted shows, and moving away from its failed first season of
telenovelas. The one-hour show takes a troubled married couple and puts them
in a home, where they're monitored by cameras - and experts - and the judge
comes in at the end to mediate.

For Toler, a lawyer and judge before she moved into television a year ago,
it's a different experience from the traditional courtroom show.

"I'm there for three days watching them, even when I'm not involved with
them, so I really get to know them."

Obviously, the viewers watch along with her.

The show's creator and executive producer is Jay McGraw, who gained some
experience in the business working with his father.

"My dad is DR Phil; I obviously have some background in daytime television,"
says McGraw, who has taken the kind of show you might find on daytime TV and
turned it into a prime-time effort.

"You can't spend the amount of time, you can't put the amount of resources
into a show like this," he says of daytime television. "You have to do 170,
180 shows a year; you kinda gotta keep it moving."

But as a weekly show, a whole hour can be focused on one couple, their
problems and Toler's attempts to help fix them.

"These people's lives are affected in a positive way and, you know, it's fun
to watch," says McGraw.

At least that's the goal.

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