Esther | Bella | Cinderella - 10/31/07

[Smartmarriages]

- ESTHER PEREL 
- AFTER THE GLASS SLIPPER: THE CINDERELLA STORY CONTINUED
- BELLA - A MOVIE RECOMMENDATION FROM MIKE MCMANUS

##########################
- ESTHER PEREL 

> Diane,
> According to your notice to the list on Oct 26, Esther Perel is presenting in
> San Francisco. You didn't mention what she's presenting.  I just checked your
> website and couldn't see an Institute.  I've read her book, highly recommend
> it to all my clients and was hoping to spend a few days studying with her.
> Any chance that is in the cards?  Whatever she does, I hope you can guarantee
> that I can get into her session. Also, am surprised you buried the news about
> her presentation at the end of a long email. I think you should give this one
> of your big TAH DAHs and top billing. Very impressed you got her.
> Wendy
> 
You're not the only one to write to express your excitement. She will do a
workshop in San Francisco and maybe we can schedule her for an Institute in
2009. I promise that I'll be able to move her workshop to a ballroom if
necessary, so not to worry, you'll get in. I agree, she does appear Tah-Dah
worthy. In fact she was selected by Elle magazine as one of the most
influential women of the year, does keynotes, panels and trainings all over
the world, and her book - which has been published in 22 countries! - has
been a huge media hit - it's been featured in all the big magazines and on
all the shows including Oprah and Today.

The very good news is her book "Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic
Intelligence" is being released this week in PAPERBACK which makes it all
the more affordable - $12.30 on amazon.  We can all read it in advance and
be ready to get the most out of the workshop.  I'll share with you just one
of the reviews to whet your appetite:

> ³Finally! A book that truly addresses the mystery of sustaining erotic desire
> in long term relationships. Mating in Captivity is a brilliantly written,
> illuminating book about the conundrum that most couples face in relationship:
> how to keep the romantic spark glowing over a lifetime. Perel doesn¹t offer
> yet another sex manual, rather she engages us to be open to the magic and
> mystery of erotic exploration that¹s possible for couples. She shows the rich
> variety of ways couples can rekindle their romance when they rediscover their
> separatness, differences, and vulnerable yearnings with tenderness and
> curiosity. This is a book I would recommend to a couple for their honeymoon
> and a couple celebrating their 50th anniversary. It¹s a book I¹ve asked my
> wife to read. And my sons. It¹s by my bedside. Consider having it by yours.²
> ‹ David Treadway, Intimacy, Change and Other Therapeutic Mysteries

Purchase in bookstores or order the book here:
http://www.smartmarriages.com/app/Media.Booklist

Here is the workshop she'll present in San Francisco at the Smart Marriages
Conference July 2-5, 2008:
> Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence
> Esther Perel , MA
> Explore the paradoxical union of domesticity and sexual desire through video
> case examples and learn how to help couples sustain desire over the long haul.

################
- AFTER THE GLASS SLIPPER: THE CINDERELLA STORY CONTINUED

The book I mentioned a few weeks ago - I said it was perfect for newlyweds
is released in book stores and on amazon tomorrow, Nov 1. I think someone
should make the movie!  - diane

Here's the blurb on the Smart Marriages Book List, order at:
http://www.smartmarriages.com/app/Media.Booklist   (last book on the list).
   
> After The Glass Slipper: 8 Proven Steps to Lasting Love
> Jon Meyerson, Beverly Meyerson
> The Cinderella fairy tale continues, describing how the royal couple
> experiences the same conflicts all couples do. Written with wit and whimsy,
> the book tells how Fairy Godmother and Caring Godfather teach the couple
> specific steps to help them live happily ever after. The Meyersons' unique
> insight provides you with the skills needed for a joyful and harmonious
> relationship with your life partner. The Wedding Edition includes a special
> introduction and makes an ideal engagement gift.
> ­ A delightful book, sheer genius. Give this to every newlywed you know. Diane
> Sollee, Director, Smart Marriages.

###################
- BELLA - A MOVIE RECOMMENDATION FROM MIKE MCMANUS

BELLA - Unforgettable, Deeply Moving Film
by Mike McManus
October 31, 2007

BELLA is an unforgettable, deeply moving film about the relationship of two
losers: Jose, the chef in his brother¹s Mexican restaurant and Nina, a
waitress fired by his brother for being late.

Jose had been a soccer star, until he accidently killed a child who dashed
in front of his car.  After serving four years in prison for manslaughter,
the ex-con found work as a chef for his brother. He grew a thick heavy
beard, hiding his handsome face.

When Nina was fired, Jose ran after her, and learned she was pregnant. He
took the day off to be with her, though they had no previous relationship.
That day changed their lives.  This touching movie won the Audience Award as
the best film of the Toronto Film Festival.

At a deeper level, the movie is about the decision of what to do about an
unwed pregnancy - which happens to 2.7 million American women annually.

³Have you considered adoption?² Jose asks. It is the sort of loving question
which gets asked far too rarely in our culture.

Nina replies, ³No, I could not carry something in my body for nine months
and then give it to a stranger.² That¹s the reason only 22,000 infants are
adopted in America out of 1.5 million out-of-wedlock births. Surely, the
most loving decision hundreds of thousands of those mothers could make is to
relinquish the child to a married couple longing,.but unable to bear
children.

³Let¹s go the beach,² Jose says. ³I live near the beach.² As they travel,
Nina tells him, ³The only person I would give it to is you. Right now, you
are the only person I trust.²

Suddenly we see them in an abortion clinic. He whispers something in her
ear. She turns to him with a stunned look, then goes to the doctor. She
returns teary-eyed, but viewers are uncertain what happened. Nationally, 1.2
million babies are aborted annually.

Jose and Nina visit his family¹s home near the beach.  It is a big, joyous
family, with lots of bantering and laughing around a sumptuous meal
including a younger brother and his fiancée

At one point during dinner, Jose¹s mother confesses to Nina, ³I don¹t
usually talk about it, but early in our marriage we could not have children.
We tried everything we could.²

³Mom, don¹t talk about that around children!² her youngest son protests

But then his cousin in Puerto Rico had a child, and we adopted this darling
boy,² Manny, the older brother, the up-tight restaurant owner. Their mother
reflects, ³I think the only difference between my three sons is the way
Manny came to us.²

I won¹t reveal BELLA¹s surprising conclusion.

³This film is a work of art,² said Tony Bennett in presenting an award at
its opening. ³A work of art is very rare...lasts forever and stays in the
hearts of everybody forever that sees it.²

Surprisingly in its first weekend, BELLA grossed an amazing $1.3 million
despite a  limited release on just 165 screens (versus 3,000- 4,000 for most
Hollywood blockbusters). Why? Christians heard about the film and promoted
it, giving BELLA the highest per screen average in America last Sunday.

Jose is portrayed by Eduardo Verastegui, a Mexican with a Cinderella story.
The son of a sugar cane worker in Mexico, he achieved early success as a
teenage recording artist.  His good looks and acting ability led to starring
in five popular TV soaps and a film, propelliing him to the precipice of
international stardom, when he converted to Christianity.

His faith persuaded him to refuse many roles as Latin lovers and halt
personal promiscuity. ³I was tired of the vanity, the ego.  I was not using
my talents to make a difference,² he said. ³I wanted to create films that
are hopeful, beautiful and uplifting - not showing darkness, but a light in
the darkness.²

He studied English for a year, hoping to break into Hollywood.  However,
idealism has its price. At one point, Eduardo was worried about paying rent.
That¹s when he read the BELLA script, and with a Mexican film director fresh
out of school, raised money for the low budget film which might win an
Academy Award.

Tom Atwood, President of the National Council for Adoption, asserts, ³It¹s
the best movie ever in making and presenting the adoption option as a
positive option.  Young people should see this movie and anyone who has
contact with them - parents, counselors, ministers, coaches, teachers,
nurses and doctors.²

It is a film about love - not romance but compassion.


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12th Annual Smart Marriages® Conference, Hilton San Francisco Hotel,
July 2 - 5, 2008  
Pre-Conference Training Institutes June 30-July 2
Post-Conference Training Institutes July 6

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