FUN Stuff: Dancing | Yard Sales | Marriage Movie | Robbins-inspired Breakthrough to lots of FUN - 10/2/07

Tue Oct 2 13:43:06 EDT 2007

- THE GREAT DATE DANCERS
- THE YARD SALE DATE
- WEDNESDAY'S OCT 3 OPRAH: WHY DID I GET MARRIED?
- THANKFUL WIFE HAVING SEX FUN WITH A ROBBINS-INSPIRED BREAKTHROUGH
[ I should probably give this one it's own email, not stick it at the end
like this and not put it in this FUN post. As we know, when it's good sex is
fun, when it's bad it's dead serious.   -diane ]

###################################
- THE GREAT DATE DANCERS

Wow, you can SEE that this is a relationship that is going to last....I'd
bet on this one. Wow. - diane

Hi, Diane,   

Quick story for the list, with appreciation to the Arps!

Dancing is our passion.  My husband (of 35 years) and I keep our romance and
connection strong through our love of Ballroom, Latin and Swing dancing and
performing.  Many couples dance and perform together, and many are much
better than we are.  What is unique about us, is that my husband, Todd,
sings love songs to me into a mike while we perform.  For example, we do a
Rumba to Stevie Wonder¹s ³I Just Called To Say I Love You² and a Merengue to
Ricky Martin¹s (very sexy) ³She Bangs², with Todd singing to me and to the
audience.  Here is our picture doing a tango
<http://greatrelationshipstraining.com/GreatDateDancers.htm> .

Out of the blue, we were invited to perform at a fundraising event, and were
asked if we have a name for our ³act².  I happened to notice my copy of 10
Great Dates on my bookshelf, and made it up on the spot. I said, ³yes, we
are ³The Great Date Dancers².

If I have a chance to dialogue with the audience at this event, I¹ll
encourage them to make time for great dates in their marriage. I'll let you
know how it goes.

Annette Carpien
annette at greatrelationshipstraining.com
610-428-2755

########################
- THE YARD SALE DATE

Central Florida Lifestyle Magazine
October 2007
By Sheryl Kurland
www.EverlastingMatrimony.com

Can You Endure the Real Marriage Litmus Test?

The secret test to find out if you¹re really Mr. and Mrs. Right just may be
found at a local yard sale.

When my husband and I decided to have a yard sale, we had no idea we¹d be
testing our marriage in the process.  Who knew that yard sales were a true
test of marriage resilience?  Preparing for a yard sale can be a wondrous
experience, but it also brings up a spectrum of raw emotions between a
couple. 

Prepare for the Challenge

³What do you think, Dear?  Should we get rid of our old television that
works only after banging on it three times?²

We cuddled in bed together watching hours and hours of amorous old movies,
so when my husband asks about the TV, it¹s a difficult decision.  The
struggle has little to do with selling the TV, but everything to do with
kissing memories goodbye.

The challenge continued.  As he rummaged through tools, appliances, gizmos
and gadgets (my definition of ³junk²), I refrained from teasing.  As I
shuffled through mugs, dishes, plant pots, baskets, and souvenirs (his
definition of ³junk²), he resisted making insulting remarks.

Together, we struggled to deal with separation anxiety, impending loss and
grief.  It was a seriously tough task, but it proved to be a bonding
experience for our relationship.  We toiled.  We talked.  We laughed.

The Day Arrives
Then, the day of our neighborhood yard sales arrived.  In addition to all
his so-called treasures, he created a pile of ³free² stuff: a menagerie of
old tires, miscellaneous hubcaps, electrical cords and wiring, odd pieces of
wood, pierced window screening, and the like.  Husband-after
husband-shopper is drawn to the ³free² collection like a bee to honey.
Wife after wife could also be heard shrieking ³What do we need that for?²
like a bee stinging her ³Honey.²

At day¹s end, our yard sales profit was $238.10.  The following Saturday, we
went on a date with our found money.  We went yard sale shopping!

Then We Shop
I say, ³Such adorable dishes!  I haven¹t seen aluminum drinking glasses like
these in years!  This little table will be perfect for serving drinks on the
patio!  (³More clutter,² he¹s thinking.)

He says, ³I¹ve never replaced my broken 7-foot ladder, and this one is in
great condition!  These screwdrivers fill in my missing-size gaps!  Here¹s
the X-Box games I¹ve been looking for!  (³Enough already,² I¹m thinking.)

Neither of us understands the other¹s desperation, but we¹ve learned to pick
our battles.  Happily, we loaded up our haul, and with the $25 that was
left, we took ourselves out to lunch.  The deli sandwiches were scrumptious,
and we shared an order of french fries and a vanilla milkshake with two
straws.

Yard sales have deepened our love for each other; we feel renewed and
joyful.  Another season has proven that our differences are tolerable and
our likenesses breed excitement and intrigue.

Amongst the trash and treasures (for us and other couples), the best find
may be that your relationship or marriage is, indeed, a treasure you can
both agree on.

##########################
- WEDNESDAY'S OCT 3 OPRAH: WHY DID I GET MARRIED?

I don't know how much fun this one will be.....I'll be holding my breath.
No idea what the message will be.  Here's the blub from the Oprah website.
Diane

> Is your marriage what you thought it would be? Find out why the movie "Why Did
> I Get Married?" will have you jumping out of your seat. Oprah is joined by the
> stars of the film, funnyman Tyler Perry, superstar Janet Jackson and singing
> sensation Jill Scott.

##########################
- THANKFUL WIFE HAVING SEX FUN WITH A ROBBINS-INSPIRED BREAKTHROUGH

I should probably give this one it's own email, not stick it at the end like
this and not put it in this FUN post. As we know, when it's good sex is fun,
when it's bad it's dead serious.   -diane

Dear Diane, 

I know I need to thank you but wonder if you also have a way to forward this
to the Tony Robbins company and also to the couple that appeared in his "Man
enough to stay the course" video.

I give you permission to use this on the list but ask you to PLEASE disguise
me and also be sure not to use my email address which you sometimes do. I'd
also like to remain anonymous to the Tony Robbins company though I would
appreciate it if you can forward this to them (while still protecting my
identity). I'd like them (and the couple) to know how much the program can
make a difference. 

First, I'm writing to thank because YOU recommended the program on the list
so convincingly that I took advantage of the smartmarriages discount and
bought it. I was skeptical (I know about Robbins because I've seen his
infomercials about improving your business acumen as you unleash your hidden
power) but didn't know what his rah rah style could do for marriage.  So, it
was from having come to trust you and your stronger than usual
recommendation that just watching the videos could create change in people
that led me to buy the program. (It's NOT inexpensive even with the discount
you arranged but it was a great investment - read on!) As you suggested, I
asked my husband to watch with me.  We watched two DVDs including the Man
Enough DVD.  Now comes the amazing part.  Like all women, I know the basic
rules and recommendations about love and marriage. If you've ever read a
women's magazine you know not to complain about sex DURING sex. (Plus we've
been in couples counseling. I'm a complainer and my husband has been
diagnosed as a 'keep the peace at all costs' kind of avoider which our
counselor told me can be a blessing.)  But, even with this knowledge I will
make THE big mistake from time to time. (Actually our sex life is pretty
good, I'd probably have given it a 6 on a 1-to-10 scale.)  But, as I said,
from time to time, I get frustrated and my frustration would happen right in
the middle of the sex warmup.  Which, over the years has been highly
confusing to my husband. He never knows which way things will go.  Sometimes
things go well.  Other times I just can't keep my emotions in check and my
mouth shut.  Things aren't happening for me.  He seems clueless. I get upset
and then my body shuts down and I can't feel anything and my mind is getting
more and more upset.  He's charging ahead as if nothing is wrong or maybe he
senses it's not going well but it seems like he just continues trying to do
things and just does them faster. And it's these times that I, as he puts
it, I shut down and usually complain (sometimes say some pretty mean things)
and he then gives up and gets up and we both deal with the hurt and pain and
frustration for days or weeks (once for three months and therapy. As he said
in therapy it's hard to get back on the horse after it has kicked you in the
stomach.)  So, to the miracle. We'd watched the Man Enough video the week
before.  This time when I went stiff and silent (as he puts it) and then
opened my trap and started to complain, instead of getting frustrated and
turning away (games over) he stayed in bed with me and held me. He didn't
make any "I'm done with this" moves.  Just stayed with me. This was a first.
We talked and he held me. We talked some more and he even asked me to tell
him more.  After about just ten minutes of this I got the feelings coming
flooding back and then I restarted sex. I made the moves on him.  And he was
able to respond.  We had the best sex we'd ever had.  I didn't put two and
two together until the next morning.  It was as if he laid there and said,
"BRING IT ON, BABY". Just like in that video except that the video had
nothing at all to do with sex.  This is the part I want you to tell the Tony
Robbins people.  They should sell this as a sex teaching tape. (I think if
the sex is working then all the fights about money or in-laws can be dealt
with. I think it's the most important part of a marriage.) Anyway, just as
they say in the video my husband was able to maintain connection with me and
STAY PRESENT.  We have since talked about it and now our new favorite saying
is 'Bring it on, baby'.  But the lesson is not 'bring it on' the lesson is
that he doesn't have to get upset if I'm unhappy or critical and that he
understands how important it is for him to just 'stay on course' like the
video demonstrates. We're using it every time I have a complaint. (Hate to
admit it but I'm the one that seems to be the nit-picker in our
relationship.) I'm very excited about this because it also seems to add a
sense of humor and calmness to my feelings and my complaining and even about
sex in general.  It seems like we have a complete new understanding. It
makes a difference to me to know he can now hear my garbage about whatever
has me upset and stay with me and hear me out. I hope others on your
wonderful list will find ways to use this dvd with couples and maybe use our
story as part of a teaching lesson. I realize this has gotten longer than
I'd thought but I think I'll send it as it is.  I've sent you rather long
email comments before and know you only use bits and pieces, so do feel free
to edit.  I'm even thinking of coming to your conference and investigating
what it takes to become a marriage educator.  You think an accountant can
learn to become a marriage educator?  A sexually satisfied, happlily married
accountant, that is. If I see that Robbins and Madanes are presenting again,
I'll definitely be there. I wish I were as brave as the couples in the
series and could tell my story on video to help others, but hope this
recounting of what happened for us can help.
---------------------

Wow, I'm not going to edit this at all. I'll forward it to Robbins and hope
they can let Daryl and Sam, the couple in this DVD know the impact they had
on one couple. And I'm so happy to have your testimonial.  I've recommended
these dvds to so many and love hearing back.

This is just one of the 7 DVDs in the Ultimate Relationship kit (plus 12
Cds, and a workbook). I think the $50 smartmarriages.com discount might
still work on the Robbins website. Not sure but you can try and if it
doesn't work on the site, call them and they might still honor it:
800-537-0820. 

And, yes, I'm sure a happily married accountant can become a very effective
marriage educator.  You could become a great mentor teaching couple. You
don't say how long you've been married or what life stage you're at, but
this would be a wonderful thing to do now, if you have time, or when you
retire. Cloe Madanes will present in San Francisco.  Will let you know about
Tony as soon as I find out.

Here is the info and link to order the program.
http://www.robbinsmadanes.com/products.html#ultimateprogram

And here is the description off the TOOB page at smartmarriages.com -
because, yes, Ultimate Relationships is a teach-right-out-of-the-box TOOB
program: 

> The Ultimate Relationship Program - Saturday Night Keynote, June 30
> Cloé Madanes, HDL, Anthony Robbins - use the code "CMFCE" for a special
> Smart Marriages discount.
> Use this easy-to-teach DVD-based program to help even the most troubled
> couples understand their core needs and master eight essential skills to
> develop trust, rekindle passion, break barriers, align goals, and design a
> compelling future. Ideal for clinical, coaching, or educational settings, or
> for couples to use on their own.

I also know that you can purchase just the "Relationship Storms: Man Enough
to Stay the Course" DVD.  I think it's $79.  And, I'm told that Robbins
group is working on a three or four DVD set just for couples that will be
available in time for the holidays and on sale in major outlets like Costco
and Sam's Club.  - diane

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