Black Enterprise Looking for Couple | The Last Kiss | Crystal and Twain - 11/14/07

[Smartmarriages]

- BLACK ENTERPRISE MAGAZINE IS LOOKING FOR AF AMERICAN COUPLES
- MOVIE AWARD NOMINEE: THE LAST KISS
- BILLY CRYSTAL & MARK TWAIN
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- BLACK ENTERPRISE MAGAZINE IS LOOKING FOR AF AMERICAN COUPLES

Finding couples always helps us best get the message of marriage education
and hope out there. Note the urgent deadline. Forward to anyone that might
help.  - diane 
> 
> Looking for married African-American couples, any age, any income level,  who
> have participated in any kind of financial literacy program targeted to
> couples. I want to hear what you learned, how it changed your behavior, and
> the results: saving more, investing, bought a home, or whatever the case may
> be.
> 
> Please respond by Friday, 11-16, or Monday 11-19, at the latest. You will not
> be photographed. I prefer to use real names, rather than anonymous.
> 
> Sheryl Nance-Nash
> sdnn at rcn.com

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- MOVIE AWARD NOMINEE: THE LAST KISS

Dear Diane, 

I just watched a gem of a movie on DVD, The Last Kiss, and was blown away
by its rich portrayal of the relationship issues we encounter in our work
with couples. While its focus is on the crisis  of a 29-yr-old facing
fatherhood with his 3-yr partner, (in an authentically-delivered character
played by Zach Braff), it offers so many angles that it could be used for
numerous Smart Marriages applications. I can  well envision it in premarital
preparation groups as a conversation starter, and its portrayal of mid-life
marriage crisis is also poignant and finely performed by Blythe Danner and
Tom Wilkinson for 2nd half marriages. And it¹s  really relevant for ³And
Baby Makes 3² and other new-parent projects.

The director comments and actors¹ thoughts really enhance the DVD in the
special features menu. I checked reviews on this 06 film ‹ not too
favorable, but I¹m not a critic ‹ just someone who has seen too many real
people portrayed in  this realistic script in my 6 yrs as a Divorce Busting
coach. I thought it was way beyond the vapid romantic comedies that draw
high praise.

Warning: Its R-rating is more than deserved, and the film would be
objectionable in many settings. The sex scenes are a pretty raw, but I hear
these types of stories frequently in my work, and haven¹t seen much in
media that as effectively portrays the complexities of Relationships. I just
talked to two people whose situations could have come right out of the
script. I recommend it for a Smart Marriages movie award, because it honors
themes of commitment, reconciliation & forgiveness And the You-Tube reviewer
who suggests she was rooting for Kim, the co-ed ³seductress² says so very
much about challenges to fidelity, doesn¹t it?

Also, congratulations to Hal and Elaine Braff, on raising such a fine actor
in Zach. 
 
Vernetta Mickey 
Divorcebusting coach

Elaine and Hal will present twice in San Francisco - they'll teach the 3-day
pre-conference PAIRS Institute with Lori Gordon and will again present their
very highly acclaimed and well-attended, The Power of Play workshop.  Not
only did they raise Zach but also have a daughter who was a finalist on Last
Comic Standing. Maybe we should ask them to teach a parenting workshop, or
maybe that's the point of PAIRS and The Power of Play. :)  - diane

####################
- BILLY CRYSTAL & MARK TWAIN

> Diane,   
> I don't know if you caught the PBS airing of the Mark Twain awards the other
> night.  Billy Crystal received the award, and made a very big point of
> thanking his wife, Janice, to whom he's been married for 37 years!  He also
> praised and honored his two daughters, who were also there.  It's refreshing
> to see a Hollywood star say something seriously loving about his family.
> Lawrence Compter, Executive Director
> Marriage Alliance of Central Virginia

Yes, and when I saw it I thought about how Billy Crystal was so wonderfully
honoring the Mark Twain tradition - long married and long in love with his
wife, Livy.  - d

Here are just two of Twain's quotes about marriage:

> Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman
> really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a
> century.
> - Notebook, 1894

> If husbands could realize what large returns of profit may be gotten out of a
> wife by a small word of praise paid over the counter when the market is just
> right, they would bring matters around the way they wish them much oftener
> than they usually do. Arguments are unsafe with wives, because they examine
> them; but they do not examine compliments. One can pass upon a wife a
> compliment that is three-fourths base metal; she will not even bite it to see
> if it is good; all she notices is the size of it, not the quality.
> - "Hellfire Hotchkiss," reprinted in Satires and Burlesques


And, this from a letter to her about their coming wedding day, it certainly
rolls right off his pen:
> This 4th of February will be the mightiest day in the history of our lives,
> the holiest, & the most generous toward us both--for it makes of two
> fractional lives a whole; it gives to two purposeless lives a work, & doubles
> the strength of each whereby to perform it; it gives to two questioning
> natures a reason for living, & something to live for; it will give a new
> gladness to the sunshine, a new fragrance to the flowers, a new beauty to the
> earth, a new mystery to life; & Livy it will give a new revelation to love, a
> new depth to sorrow, a new impulse to worship. In that day the scales will
> fall from our eyes & we shall look upon a new world. Speed it!
> - letter to Olivia Langdon, 8 September 1869
> 
######################

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