Growing | Willard Harley | Parking | No Parking Divorce | Birch St | Global Marriage Poll - 11/14/07

[Smartmarriages]

- GROWING THE MOVEMENT
- WILLARD HARLEY IN UTAH THURSDAY
- PARKING IN SAN FRANCISCO
- THE "NO PARKING/NO HASSLE" DIVORCE
- 51 BIRCH STREET: MARRIAGE DOCUMENTARY
- GLOBALLY, 70 PERCENT OF US STILL BELIEVE MARRIAGE IS FOR LIFE

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- GROWING THE MOVEMENT

The postcards and ads are getting quite a response, but that biggest
response is still clearly through word of mouth, or, I should say, "through
word of email".  People visiting the "Request a Conference Brochure" page
are saying that the way they heard about us was that someone who subscribes
to the listserv or who attended a previous conference, emailed them
something. Yesterday's post "Divorce Prevention Holiday" is perfect.
Forward it to people on your list.  It's working.  Here's link:
http://tinyurl.com/2fv4y4

If you want a few dozen or few hundred POSTCARDS to distribute, just email
me with how many you want and where to send them.  Those that ordered bulk
shipments should receive end of this week.
- diane 
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- WILLARD HARLEY IN UTAH THURSDAY

Conference targets troubled marriages
By Jennifer Barrett
The Salt Lake Tribune
November 11, 2007 

If your marriage is in trouble, it's time to double check your bank account.

Your ³love bank,² that is.

Willard Harley, a retired psychologist and one of the founders of the
healthy-marriage movement, said all married couples have a ³love bank² - a
well of good feelings and experiences that a couple can draw on to get
through rough times.

The key is to not overdraw the account.

Harley will visit Utah Valley State College on Thursday to explain the
theory and provide his simple formula for saving troubled marriages: Get the
couple to fall in love again.

³People who are in love never get divorced. Never,² said Harley, author of
His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage, which has sold
nearly 4 million copies.

He said his program is ³sure-fire,² and compares it to losing weight.
Shedding pounds is hard work, ³but if you follow the program, you'll lose
the weight.²

It may sound too good to be true, but Harley has gotten kudos from
professionals in the healthy marriage field.

³He's well-respected . . . and his message is good,² said Melanie Reese,
coordinator of the Utah Commission on Marriage. She heard him speak this
summer at the Smartmarriages conference, the nation's largest gathering of
marriage therapists and educators, where he won an award for his 30-plus
years of work.

One more mark in his favor: He said a couple can use his teachings to fill
their love bank without emptying their checking account.

³If you're motivated, none of this will cost a dime,² he said, explaining
that his entire program is available for free on his Web site,
www.marriagebuilders.com.

Thursday's event will probably set you back a few bucks. Admission to the
conference is $20 per person, or $10 if you use the coupon code ³2-4-1² when
ordering tickets via www.smithstix.com. Couples experiencing financial
hardships can attend for free, as can religious leaders, by e-mailing
ernesthemple at yahoo.com

The conference is at 7 p.m. at the McKay Events Center, at UVSC, in Orem.
----
Willard Harley will present two workshops at the San Francisco Smart
Marriages Conference.

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- PARKING IN SAN FRANCISCO

> Hi Diane,
> I just made my hotel reservation & was told parking is $51.34 PER
> NIGHT and there is no conference rate.  Is this true?
> Pat Ennis

Yes, that is the full horror.

I've announced it on the list - guess you missed that discussion.  There are
a few nearby public lots for $40 or so. But, SF was non-negotiable on
parking - they're trying to "go green" and they don't want cars downtown.

I've suggested that locals NOT drive in, that they park in some suburban lot
in Oakland etc and take Bart or trains into the city.

And, I've suggested to those flying in that want to rent a car, to rent
before or after the conf when they don't need to park at the Hilton or
downtown.  Avis, with whom we have a conf discount, has a drop-off/pick-up
site 3 blocks from the Hilton.  Perfect solution for those that want to
drive to wine country, redwoods, hot mineral springs, Yosemite, on their own
(not on a tour).  BUT we strongly suggest you try to reserve in advance to
help Avis have cars at the ready.

Proud of you that you MADE your hotel reservation. So many are going to be
disappointed when the Hiton fills.  We have the entire hotel but it will
fill and the way we're going it will fill before the brochures are  even
printed. - diane 

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- THE "NO PARKING/NO HASSLE" DIVORCE

Broward residents can now go online to file for divorce, small claims
South Florida Sun-Sentinel
November 12, 2007
By Alexia Campbell

> Mazzeo says the new service will save residents hours of hassle.

> "People come downtown and it's expensive to park. If we can keep them from
> making extra trips to the courthouse, it would be great for them," she said.

Broward County residents now can file for a divorce without leaving the
house, or at least get the paperwork rolling.

The Broward County Clerk of Courts launched an online service this month
that steers citizens through the application process for filing divorce
actions, small claims lawsuits and tenant evictions.

"It kind of guides you through, it asks questions. Once it knows your name,
it will put it in every space it should go," said Kris Mazzeo, director of
the circuit/civil family division of the clerk of courts.

The self-service system is intended for people who can't afford an attorney
or don't want to spend the money on one. Each section provides legal
definitions and asks questions to determine which forms need to be filled
out. The completed forms can be printed at home and mailed to the clerk's
office. Some paperwork requires a notary signature.

Mazzeo says the new service will save residents hours of hassle.

"People come downtown and it's expensive to park. If we can keep them from
making extra trips to the courthouse, it would be great for them," she said.

The clerk of courts adopted the program following the lead of Palm Beach
County and others. Soon, Mazzeo hopes to expand the service to offer help
with other matters, such as name changes and paternity matters.

Although the program simplifies the legal process for the average citizen,
it also simplifies the paperwork for the court clerks, who often have to
deal with throngs of customers and incomplete applications.

The service can be accessed at www.browardclerk.org, and click on self
service forms.

Copyright © 2007, South Florida Sun-Sentinel

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- 51 BIRCH STREET: MARRIAGE DOCUMENTARY

Upon many recommendations, last night I watched "51 Birch Street" - the
documentary of a 54-year marriage.  Maybe we should have a workshop in SF
just to discuss this one. From the NY Times review: ". . .confirms what the
best novelists know: that marriage, among the most common of human
arrangements, is also among the most complex and mysterious."  Among many
awards, it was named One of the Top Ten Films of the Year (2006) by The New
York Times, Siskel & Ebert, and the Chicago Sun-Times and awarded
Documentary of the Year by AARP  It's available on DVD rental.  I'd love to
hear what others think.
  -d 
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- GLOBALLY, 70 PERCENT OF US STILL BELIEVE MARRIAGE IS FOR LIFE

> Another surprising result is that in the USA, more men than women believed
> that marriage is for life and relevant in today¹s society.
 
> ³One of the most interesting results of this survey is that the deeply
> Catholic nations of southern Europe ­ Spain, Italy and Portugal ­ say marriage
> today is irrelevant and do not believe it is for life,² said Dodd.

November 12/2007
United Kingdom (SkyNewswire.com)-- A survey released by ACNielsen has
revealed some surprising views on what love, romance and marriage really
mean in the 21st century.

³Record high divorce statistics combined with rising co-habitation rates and
an increasing number of children born to common-law couples in the past ten
years have certainly made the western world wonder if the age-old concept of
Œto have and to hold till death to us part¹ is fast becoming a dying
tradition,² said Patrick Dodd, President, ACNielsen, Europe.

But with all things love and romance celebrated all over the world tomorrow,
the concept of Œlove, till death do us part¹ is alive and well, according to
over 25,000 consumers polled online in 46 countries last December. ³Seventy
percent of people surveyed say that marriage is for life (with American
consumers topping the list at 78 percent) and three out of five (60 percent)
saying that marriage is one of their lifetime goals,² said Dodd.
Survey results indicate that the concept of marriage today might be largely
dominated by a country¹s cultural and religious beliefs ­ with very opposing
views among consumers in the developed West and emerging East.

Another surprising result is that in the USA, more men than women believed
that marriage is for life and relevant in today¹s society.

Muslim and Catholic strongholds in Asia top global rankings for believing
that marriage Œis for life¹, lead by Indonesians (97 percent), and Filipinos
and Malaysians (both 89 percent).

³One of the most interesting results of this survey is that the deeply
Catholic nations of southern Europe ­ Spain, Italy and Portugal ­ say
marriage today is irrelevant and do not believe it is for life,² said Dodd.

Over 70 percent of Portuguese and Italians and 68 percent of Spaniards say
marriage is irrelevant today ­ and of those who make it to the church altar,
only one in three Portuguese and Spaniards believe that marriage is for
life! In Italy, where the Catholic church still maintains a strong cultural
presence and where divorce rates are the lowest in Europe, only half (48
percent) believe that marriage today will last a lifetime.

Only last week, Portugal was a nation divided over a highly controversial
law which will decriminalize abortion. Meanwhile the Italian parliament
finally passed a law which would finally give unwedded couples the same
legal rights as married couples ­ with much criticism from the Catholic
Church. ³Given the relatively slow social and legal changes in southern
European Catholic countries, it¹s no surprise that a new-found independence
has totally challenged and changed the concept of love and marriage in these
countries,² said Dodd.

As a consequence, less than half of Europeans polled said that marriage is
one of their lifetime goals ­ in contrast to 67 percent of Asians.

Instead of marriage, three out of four (77 percent) of Europeans (the
highest group globally, with an even split between men and women) said a
stable, long term relationship is as good as marriage. ³Across Europe,
especially western Europe, for the first time in history women are chasing
careers instead of husbands and valuing independence over marriage as a
life-long ambition. And the majority of men in these countries are in
agreement too. There appears to be an equal rejection of the traditional
concept of marriage across both sexes,² said Dodd.

Over 80 percent of Spaniards, Belgians, French and Dutch said that a stable,
long term relationship is a good as marriage, the highest ranking countries
globally to think so.

Asian and Muslim nations were not in favour of replacing marriage with long
term relationships, and neither were 50 percent of Americans, Russians,
South Africans and Hungarians.

Asian Muslim countries of Indonesia (87 percent) and Malaysia (82 percent)
ranked globally most in favour of marriage as a life goal ­ while at the
other end of the love and marriage barometer, 74 percent of Greek consumers
say marriage is not a lifetime goal for them, while 68 percent of South
Koreans say marriage is definitely not for life!

About ACNielsen

ACNielsen, a division of the Nielsen Company, is the world's leading
marketing information provider. Offering services in more than 100
countries, the unit provides measurement and analysis of marketplace
dynamics and consumer attitudes and behavior. Clients rely on ACNielsen's
market research, proprietary products, analytical tools and professional
service to understand competitive performance, to uncover new opportunities
and to raise the profitability of their marketing and sales campaigns. To
learn more, visit www.acnielsen.com.1

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12th Annual Smart Marriages® Conference, Hilton San Francisco Hotel,
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Pre-Conference Training Institutes June 30-July 2
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