Money and Marriage: A Study - 3/8/07

[Smartmarriages]

- MONEY, MATERIALISM, AND MARRIAGE

> "We need to rethink the idea that financial problems are always money
> problems," said Carroll.

> Carroll said the conclusion that materialism can put a strain on a marriage is
> "common sense," but said the truly interesting finding was that materialism
> could decrease marriage satisfaction even in higher-income couples.

> "Financial problems are as much a result of how we think about money as how we
> spend it," Carroll said.

These sessions at the Denver Conference that will help you help couples
identify and better work with their money "habitudes" and "styles".  And,
they're both TOOBS! - teachoutofthebox kits:
http://www.smartmarriages.com/minis.html

> 218 - Friday Morning, June 29
> Beyond Budgets: Active Money Education ­ TOOB
> Kelly Simpson 
> Teach a new financial education program for couples that assesses values and
> power struggles and helps couples reach new insight & cooperation. Teaching
> tools & booklet included.

> 412 - Saturday Morning, June 30
> Money Habitudes: The Last Taboo ­ TOOB
> Syble Solomon, MEd
> Use a unique card deck to give couples life-changing insights into their
> hidden attitudes about money. Teach groups, use with individual couples, or
> add to any marriage program.


- BYU STUDY SHOWS IMPACT OF MATERIALISM ON MARRIAGE
Deseret Morning News
March 05, 2007
By Jeremy Twitchell

PROVO ‹ A new study by a Brigham Young University professor suggests that
the way couples view money may have just as much impact on their marriage as
the way they spend it.

Jason Carroll, an assistant professor of family life, conducted the research
with a pair of then-student research assistants, Lukas Dean (now at Texas
Tech) and Chongming Yang (now at Duke University). The study looked at 600
couples from across the nation from various ethnic, religious and economic
backgrounds.

Their research found that couples in which at least one spouse is highly
materialistic are 40 percent more likely to have financial problems that can
put a strain on their marriage, regardless of income level.

"To me, it was an interesting topic, particularly for young families that
are just starting out and trying to establish what they want for their
quality of life," said Carroll, whose primary area of research is marriage.

Carroll said the conclusion that materialism can put a strain on a marriage
is "common sense," but said the truly interesting finding was that
materialism could decrease marriage satisfaction even in higher-income
couples.

"Even for couples with higher income levels, if materialism gets high
enough, it sets a low threshold, and as soon as the finances become
stretched, it creates a problem for that couple," Carroll said.

Carroll pointed out that two couples with similar finances ‹ but with
different outlooks on materialism ‹ could react to the same situation in
different ways.

A couple that places a premium on having the best will experience financial
stress when they can't afford it, which in turn could decrease their
satisfaction with their marriage. For the couple that doesn't place
importance on those items, not being able to afford them causes less or no
stress.

"Financial problems are as much a result of how we think about money as how
we spend it," Carroll said.

Tammy Heaton, a licensed marriage counselor based in Orem, said the study's
findings made sense.

"I think with a lot of couples, one of the things that gets in their way are
expectations," she said. "Money is just one of the issues in which
expectations can play out, but it can create major problems."

Heaton said she has also seen the expectations spouses hold prior to getting
married lead to problems in other areas, including family violence,
pornography and roles within the marriage. The key to overcoming unfulfilled
expectations, Heaton said, is flexibility.

"If you're flexible with your expectations, you can accommodate your spouse
and adapt to the situation," she said.

The research topic was originally proposed by Dean when he was a student at
BYU. Dean, now pursuing a doctorate in financial counseling at Texas Tech,
told Carroll he was surprised that in all his training and all the
literature, the focus was always on money management and never on
perceptions of money.

"It really rang true with me," Carroll said when Dean pitched the idea.

To gather the data, the team analyzed data sets gathered by the Relate
Institute, a study group formed by BYU professors in 1979 to gather data on
relationships. The institute has gathered a wide variety of information from
thousands of dating and married couples; Carroll, Dean and Yang chose 600
couples from around the nation to get a cross section that mirrored national
statistics and examined the data.

Carroll said he hopes the study will reach young couples as they plan their
lives together.

"I hope some thought and discussion will be given to what their financial
standards are," he said.

Carroll recommended that couples be careful when they compare themselves to
others. Looking at those who are more fortunate can create a sense of
entitlement and envy, he said, while looking at those who are less fortunate
can create a sense of gratitude.

############################

- MATERIALISM NOT A GOOD MATCH FOR MARRIAGE: STUDY

Materialism not a good match for marriage: study
Mar 5, 2007 

NEW YORK (Reuters Life!) - People who put a lot of weight on luxury
vacations or designer decor may end up not being the perfect match in
marriage, according to U.S. research.

Wives or husbands who place high value on possessions are more likely to
experience financial problems, which puts a strain on the relationship,
according to the first study analyzing how material satisfaction affected
marriage.

The study showed that very materialistic couples had a 40 percent higher
risk of having financial problems than other couples which can then impact
marital happiness.

"For years there has been an emphasis on learning proper saving and
budgeting techniques to avoid marital conflict over financial issues," said
the author of the study, Jason Carroll, of Brigham Young University in
Provo, Utah.

"But our study found that financial problems have as much to do with how we
think about money as they do with how we spend money," he added.

After studying 600 married couples who represented a varied ethnic,
religious and socio-economic mix, he found about 35 percent reported high
levels of materialism and more financial problems than the other couples.

Carroll discovered materialistic spouses put more emphasis on what they have
and it took fewer financial problems to cause rifts.

"For a highly materialistic spouse or couple, it takes less financial
disturbance to trigger a financial problem," Carroll said in a statement.

"Some would say, 'I'm not living a good life and I don't have a good
marriage if we can't afford to go on that vacation or purchase designer
decor for our home,' where a less materialistic spouse would not view these
limitations as a major issue."

He added that the key to solving financial problems in marriage is to have
realistic expectations and to separate needs from wants.

By lowering expectations, spouses are less likely to buy unnecessary things
and can avoid argument and stress in the marriage. It could also make people
more appreciative of what they have.

"We need to rethink the idea that financial problems are always money
problems," said Carroll.

"We need to start adjusting how much materialistic issues factor into our
idea of what makes a good marriage and family life," he added.

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