Giuliani/ Cameron/ Obama - 3/7/07

[Smartmarriages]

- THE "M" WATCH 
- RUDY'S FAMILY VALUES
- THE JOSHUA GENERATION
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- THE "M" WATCH 
Diane, 
I applaud your "M" word watch but am waiting to see if you're going to
address Giuliani's "M" word problems. He didn't use the "M" word in the way
you're looking for in his remarks to the press yesterday (how could he
without looking like a flaming hypocrite) but you have to admit his campaign
is leading to serious discussion of the issues - broken vows, broken
families, responsible vs absent fathers. What do these mean regarding
character and leadership?  There are polls asking the American public if
they care about these issues in a presidential candidate and this morning
the leader of the Southern Baptists called Guiliani's divorce a "divorce on
steroids" (I notice you have a keynote about Divorce Busting on Steroids -
made me wonder if he reads your website.)  It's interesting that the
Democrats are all on their first marriage (Hillary, Obama, Edwards,
Richardson, Gore) and the Republicans who carry the "family values" flag are
more likely to be divorced (Mccain, Giuliani, Gingrich). Romney is the only
Republican on his first marriage and the only one you've quoted as coming
out strongly for the importance of marriage. I guess he's in his comfort
zone while nothing about marriage makes the Democrats comfortable, even
having a good one. 
- Sammi 

I doubt anyone has missed the Giuliani coverage.  We'll have to wait and see
what effect this has. But what we in the coalition are watching for are
statements by the candidates that not only link marriage to social problems
but that also support the idea of Marriage EDUCATION - a simple, affordable
solution and what we see as the govt's responsibility to get simple Marriage
Education (research paid for by taxpayers) out to the public. This includes
1) The benefits of marriage to men, women, children and the village; 2) What
to expect in marriage; 3) The behaviors that lead to marital success vs
those that contribute to failure. I think candidates from either side,
divorced or not, can find a way to support an educational approach.   Don't
send a contribution without a letter about the practical, sensible,
research-based, cost-effective aspects of marriage education - it's likely
they've never heard of it.  Cameron from the UK (see McManus column below)
sent a team over here to interview a bunch of us about the approach.  Our
own politicians need to be informed - it's our research, and it's OUR JOB to
be sure our own leaders know about it.  And, I'll include a Maggie Gallagher
column on Giuliani in case any of you have missed the specifics of his "M"
word challenges.  - diane

##########################
- RUDY'S FAMILY VALUES
Mar 6, 2007 
News.yahoo
Maggie Gallagher

Back when he was mayor, Rudy Giuliani made a very good point: "75 percent of
adolescents charged with murder grew up without fathers. ... "(I)f you
wanted a social program that would really save these kids ... I guess the
social program would be called fatherhood."

This week Rudy made another good point: "(B)lended families are challenges,
sometimes they are. And the challenges are best worked on in private."

Painful is the only word to describe what it was like for the rest of us to
watch as Andrew Giuliani, America's mayor's 21-year-old Duke sophomore son,
stepped up to tell his truth to The New York Times: that he would not be
campaigning for his dad. "There's obviously a little problem that exists
between me and his wife," the younger Mr. Giuliani said. "And we're trying
to figure that out. But as of right now it's not working as well as we would
like."

Privacy is an important family value, but it is not more important than
listening to children of divorce as they struggle to tell their side of the
story.

There is a larger truth here that bears some attention. Illegitimacy is how
poor kids lose their fathers. Divorce (and yes, remarriage) is how too many
middle-class kids do.

For Andrew is not alone. One study of mostly white, middle-class adults
whose parents divorced when they were kids found that the vast majority
reported distant relationships with their fathers. A review of the social
science in the Journal of Marriage and Family concluded that it's not just
single unwed mothers whose kids struggle: "(M)ost researchers reported that
stepchildren were similar to children living with single mothers on the
preponderance of outcome measures and that stepchildren generally were at
greater risk for problems than were children living with both of their
parents."

Yes, remarriage, and the blended families it creates, can bring new
possibilities of warm family relations, and the many divorced fathers and
stepparents who've succeeded in rebuilding warm family ties deserve credit.
But too often the blending process produces painful loyalty conflicts
instead.

What can be more painful for any child than feeling that your father has
chosen his new wife over you?

This being a two-year-long presidential cycle, many focus on what the latest
in the Giuliani family saga means for Rudy's candidacy. National Journal's
Hotline speculated: "It may be unfair, but almost nothing reflects personal
character better than -- or more accurately than -- your family. We think:
If Giuliani is disqualified by Republicans, it'll be because the sturdy
stature of his character collapses, not because he is pro-choice."

Newsweek's recent poll suggests just the opposite: that the 58 percent of
Republican and Republican-leaning voters who self-identify as "social
conservatives" are far more concerned about public positions on abortion,
gay marriage and gun control (with between 30 percent to 50 percent saying
social liberal views would make them less likely to support Rudy). Still, it
can't help Rudy to have this reminder now that his family life can make
Hillary's look good. Or for us to imagine what it would be like to have him
face Barack Obama (news, bio, voting record), a husband, father and
fatherless son in the general election. Divorced Dad vs. Deserted Son. What
psychodramas lie ahead!

For the rest of us, who are not all politics all the time, there's a
different bottom line. Rudy was right back in the '90s: Fathers matter. And
I hope he finds a way to make this thing right, too. There's a big truth on
painfully public display: It's hard to be both a good husband and a good
father if you're not married to the mother of your children.

###########################
 
- THE JOSHUA GENERATION
 
March 7, 2007
Column #1,332
The Joshua Generation
by Michael J. McManus
 
What political candidate seeking to lead his nation recently made these
remarks?           

³I think it is time we recognized that family breakdown is the central
factor in the social breakdown we are seeing in our country today. Take
crime. Seventy percent of young offenders come from single parents.
Children who suffer family breakdown are 75 percent more likely to suffer
educational failure.

³This is not about saying single parents do a bad job. They do the hardest
job in the world.  It is simply saying kids do best when mom and dad are
both there for them.² (His audience applauded.)

³And we should not ignore one compelling fact. Nearly one in two cohabiting
parents split up before their child¹s fifth birthday. The figure for married
couples it is one in 12. That is why we support marriage, and yes, back it
with the tax system.²  (Strong applause.)

Furthermore, he urged a change in culture that would ³apply the full force
of shame to fathers who run away from their responsibilities when their
children are born.² Cheers erupted.

Guessed who made those remarks?

A parade of Republican presidential hopefuls spoke to the Conservative
Political Action Caucus met last week in Washington. Was it Rudy Giuliani?
Mitt Romney?  Sam Brownback?

No! None of those candidates made this speech.

However, Senator Brownback has asserted that stronger families² will reduce
poverty² and strengthen the nation.  He has said, ³We should support
marriage, not tax it.  It is wrong to tax welfare benefits just because
someone gets married.  Marriage remains the best place to raise children ­
not the only place, but the best.²

However, he has not directly addressed the need to discourage rampant
cohabitation and the subsequent soaring numbers of children born
out-of-wedlock.

President Bush could have spoken about the issue and taken credit for
creating the first federal program to strengthen marriage, providing $100
million a year, his greatest domestic achievement. Yet, curiously, he has
not.

The speaker deploring family breakdown as a cause of social ills was David
Cameron, leader of the Conservative Party in Great Britain, who hopes to be
the next Prime Minister. He concluded, ³Building a family-friendly society
is the first step in fighting crime, in fighting poverty and improving the
quality of life.²

However, Sen. Barak Obama said similar things on Sunday in Selma, Alabama,
laced with biblical imagery. He opened by praising the ³Moses Generation² of
civil rights leaders who marched in Selma, who saw rows ³of state troopers
facing you, the horses and tear gas.²  Yet that generation walked ³towards
them, unarmed, unafraid.²

He spoke personally, ³It is because they marched that I stand here before
you today...My grandfather was a cook to the British in Kenya, a cook and a
house boy. And that¹s what they called him, even when he was 60 years old.²
Selma inspired the Kennedys to bring young Africans to this country and
³give them scholarships.² One who came was his father, who married a white
woman, a descendant of slave owners. ³ Their son was Barak Obama.

He recalled, ³As great as Moses was, leading a people out of bondage, he
didn¹t cross over the river to the Promised Land.² That task was left to the
³Joshua Generation.²

Yesterday¹s Moses Generation won civil rights battles and many blacks
entered the middle class.  Yet others remain poor, are badly educated, lack
health care, live shorter lives.

He said today¹s Joshua Generation seeks ³economic rights,² such as health
insurance, better schools and overcoming a ³hope gap.²

While he fights for laws to help, he paraphrased Kennedy, ³It¹s not enough
just to ask what the government can do for us. It¹s important for us to ask
what we can do for ourselves.²

³Don¹t tell me it doesn¹t have a little to do with the fact that we got too
many daddies not acting like daddies. Don¹t think that fatherhood ends at
conception. I know something about that because my father wasn¹t around when
I was young and I struggled...Don¹t tell me we can¹t take more
responsibility for making sure we are instilling in (our children) the
values and the ideals that the Moses generation taught us about sacrifice.²

More than half of Western couples live together before they marry and many
never marry. However, it is ironic that some politicians are speaking up,
but most clergy have remained silent.

They too should speak out. Obama reminds the Joshua Generation that Joshua
was scared. ³The Lord said to him, ³Be strong and have courage, for I am
with you wherever you go.² (Joshua 1:6)

END TXT Copyright © 2007 Michael J. McManus


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