Closing | Airport | Evaluations | Sit by Region | Billboard battle continues | Military Resource - 6/22/07

[Smartmarriages]

- SMART MARRIAGES OFFICES CLOSE AT NOON
- TRANSPORTATION FROM AIRPORT
- ON-LINE EVALUATIONS
- SITTING BY REGION AT SMART MARRIAGES
- JIMMY¹S HOUSE IS A DIFFERENT WORLD
- DIRTY (PRO-FAMILY) MOVIES
- GRASSROOTS: FIGHTING FOR MARRIAGE
- MILITARY RESOURCE

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- SMART MARRIAGES OFFICES CLOSE AT NOON
On-Line registration and offices in both DC and Minnesota close at noon
today. You can reach us in Denver starting Monday, June 25th.  Call
303-893-3333 and ask for the Smart Marriages Desk.  We should have phone
systems and On-site walk-in registration working by 3pm Monday. - diane

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- TRANSPORTATION FROM AIRPORT
It's in the badge mailing letter, but just a reminder.  Look for the A+ or
the Big Sky airport shuttles for a discounted rate of $12 per person to the
hotel.  They should have a Smart Marriages sign in the window, but, if not,
just ask for the Smart Marriages rate.  - diane

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- ON-LINE EVALUATIONS
Because I know it's hard to teach old dogs new tricks, I'm also going to
point out here that we're CHANGING the conference evaluation process.  I've
drummed into you in the past to turn in your written evaluations before you
leave the conference.  This year you have to go on-line and write your
evaluation.  Even if you don't need CEU (continuing education credits for
your state license as a mental health professional) I ask you to PLEASE do
this.  We've included a note taking sheet in your on-site packets. Please
use this.  I'm concerned that if you don't that all the sessions will just
have merged into one indistinguishable mass.....take notes to keep things
clear.  I depend so heavily on your feedback.  Thanks.  The on-line forms
will be operable beginning July 1 and will be available until July 31. On-
diane  

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- SITTING BY REGION AT SMART MARRIAGES

> Greetings Diane,
> Perhaps I missed it, but in the past you'd recommend regions sitting together
> or meeting each other between Planeries. Will that be available again this
> year? If so we would like to know if that will be posted, we would like to
> host such a table to network and meet other conference attendees from the
> Greater Los Angeles area.
> Dr. La Grande & Sonja Mason

We will sit *by region* at the Friday lunch and by *topic area* at the Sat
lunch.  Open seating at the Sun lunch.  On Fri you can look for the
California region and wave a sign that says *Los Angeles Here*.  On Sat, you
could create Los Angeles as your topic.  To do this, 1) add Los Angeles to
the Topic list on the bulletin board near the registration desk; 2) Make a
sign; 3) Get a sign stand from the Registration desk; 4) get to the ballroom
early and save a table and put up your sign; 5) get back to the door
monitors and let them know where your table is - put it on the floorplan
template.  You can also put up a sign on the bulletin board and invite those
from Los Angeles area to sit together at the banquets or meet for breakfast
in the morning - or, whatever - get creative.  There is a list of all
registrants by state and by city available at the registration desk.  You
might want to check that out first thing and see if you have enough
registered from LA to make this all worth the effort.  Also, the California
Healthy Marriage Coalition has plans - buttons, plans to meet Sat 5-6pm,
etc.  - diane  

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-  JIMMY¹S HOUSE IS A DIFFERENT WORLD

Elizabeth Marquardt, author of "Between Two Worlds" will present a workshop
on Sat in Denver of the same title.  This commentary by Elizabeth is clipped
from the Family Scholars Blog.

> In a piece on college graduates in a recent New Yorker, writer Louis Menand
> begins with a splendid, familiar-to-everyone glimpse of childhood:
> 
>     On your first sleepover, your best friend¹s mother asks if you would like
> a tuna-fish-salad sandwich. Your own mother gives you tuna-fish-salad
> sandwiches all the time, so you say, ³Sure.² When you bite into the sandwich,
> though, you realize, too late, that your best friend¹s mother¹s tuna-fish
> salad tastes nothing like the tuna-fish salad your mother makes. You never
> dreamed that it was possible for there to be more than one way to prepare
> tuna-fish salad. And what¹s with the bread? It¹s brown, and appears to have
> tiny seeds in it. What is more unnerving is the fact that your best friend
> obviously considers his mother¹s tuna-fish salad to be perfectly normal and
> has been eating it with enjoyment all his life. Later on, you discover that
> the pillows in your best friend¹s house are filled with some kind of
> foam-rubber stuff instead of feathers. The toilet paper is pink. What kind of
> human beings are these? At two o¹clock in the morning, you throw up, and your
> mother comes and takes you home. Š
> 
> Not to beat a dead horse, but of course one of my first thoughts (after first
> simply appreciating this terrific childhood-from-the-child¹s-point-of-view
> piece of writing) was that this experience precisely parallels what life is
> like for children of divorce, except that your friend¹s (perfectly nice) mom
> is your (generally perfectly nice) stepmother or stepfather (who,
> nevertheless, might as well be from Mars), and no one comes to pick you up at
> 2 am.

And, this clip also from the Blog posted by Brad Wilcox:

>  DIRTY (PRO-FAMILY) MOVIES
> 
> An interesting NYTimes magazine story (coming out this Sunday) on a Hollywood
> director, Judd Apatow, (²40-year-old Virgin², ³Knocked Up²) who in his own
> uniquely Hollywood way is very family-oriented.
> 
>     ³If you¹re walking with Judd and say, ŒHey, look at that hot chick,¹ he
> gives you the death stare,² Adam McKay, the director who had Apatow produce
> his comedies ³Anchorman² and ³Talladega Nights,² had told me. ³You can say,
> ŒHey, I still love my wife; I was just looking,¹ and he still hates it.²
> 
>     ³He¹s right,² Apatow told me later when I brought up what McKay said. ³I¹m
> the guy who gets uncomfortable. That¹s why I was able to write ŒThe
> 40-Year-Old Virgin¹ and ŒKnocked Up.¹ I believe in those guys. There¹s
> something honorable about holding out for love and not breaking up for the
> sake of the baby. I see people get divorced, and there is a part of me that
> thinks, I wonder how hard they tried?² Š.
> 


For more of the same, bookmark the Blog: http://www.familyscholars.org/

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- GRASSROOTS: FIGHTING FOR MARRIAGE

Irritated by billboard urging divorce, Rolling Meadows couple fires back

BY SHEILA AHERN
Friday, June 22, 2007

Last month, a Chicago law firm spoke to unhappy married people via a Rush
Street billboard: "Life's short. Get a divorce," it read.

The message prompted a firestorm of reaction and the billboard came down.

Among the people the message didn't sit well with are marital coaches Ray
and Jean Kadkhodaian.

Now, they've rented a billboard on the eastbound side of I-90 near Elmhurst
Road.

It says: "Life's Short. Your marriage doesn't have to be."

The in-defense-of- marriage billboard along eastbound I-90 says, ³Life is
Short. Your marriage doesn¹t have to be.² (Mark
Black/mblack at dailyherald.com)
"We wanted to offer couples another option," Jean Kadkhodaian said.

The Kadkhodaians live in Rolling Meadows and have coached more than 200
couples in the past five years at Lighthouse Consulting Services in
Arlington Heights.

They spent $8,000 to rent the billboard for a month, Ray Kadkhodaian said.

"The other billboard trivialized divorce," he said. "It made divorce sound
like fun and games and something that everyone is doing. Really divorce is
traumatic."

Couples today are quick to divorce instead of trying to work things out,
Jean Kadkhodaian said.

"Couples need to find better and different ways to communicate." she said.

Besides the message "Life's short. Get a divorce," the Chicago billboard
featured a scantly clad man and woman. The Kadkhodaian billboard is
different. It features two happily married couples, one young and one old.

In the war of the marriage billboards, the Kadkhodaians are winning. In May,
officials took down the racy Chicago billboard, saying its owners didn't
have the proper permits.

The Kadkhodaians' billboard will be up until July 5.

See the billboard at:
http://www.dailyherald.com/search/printstory.asp?id=324988

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- MILITARY RESOURCE

I received dozens of emails from people offering resources to the deployed
marine.  I, of course, also sent him to the Directory of Programs at
SmartMarriages.com where all your programs and resources are linked. Several
of you also sent info on Military OneSource.  - diane

> Hi Diane;
> I want to pass on another resource for the Marine you wrote about who's on
> his 4th deployment.  The military has a resource for Soldiers and their
> families called Military OneSource.
> 
> He or his wife can contact MOS for free counseling (face to face for
> her, via phone or email for him) with a CIVILIAN therapist.  They're
> available 24/7.  That way, he doesn't have to worry about it being a
> military issue.  He can contact them at www.militaryonesource.com (user
> ID: military, password: onesource)  If he goes to the website, he can
> find the overseas toll-free numbers, for his wife, the number is
> 1-800-342-9647.
> 
> Dena B. Cashatt
> Soldier & Family Assistance Program Mgr.
> Army Recruiting Battalion, Phoenix

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11th Annual Smart Marriages Conference, Denver Adam's Mark Hotel,
June 28-July 1, 2007
Download a brochure: http://www.smartmarriages.com/Brochure.07.pdf


List your program and resources on the Directory of Classes at
http://www.smartmarriages.com

Order conference audio & video CD/DVD/MP3s: 800-241-7785 or
http://www.iPlaybackSmartMarriages.com

Coalition for Marriage, Family and Couples Education, LLC (CMFCE)
Diane Sollee, Director
5310 Belt Rd NW, Washington, DC 20015-1961
http://www.smartmarriages.com
202-362-3332

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